Bruce Kovner, Fabulosity, Rachel Kovner, Supreme Court Clerks

More on the Fabulous Rachel Kovner

rachel kovner.jpgIt appears that our post yesterday on Rachel Kovner — the young legal genius clerking this year for Judge J. Harvie Wilkinson (4th Cir.), and next year for Justice Antonin Scalia — has struck a nerve. It’s been getting emailed around, and we’ve also gotten a lot of mail about Ms. Kovner.
So we’d now like to supplement our prior report on Rachel Kovner, aka “the Empress of Palo Alto” (for having the highest GPA in the history of Stanford Law), aka “Nino’s Girl” (for landing a much-coveted Scalia clerkship). Here are the points we’d like to make:
1. Yesterday we described Rachel Kovner as “staunch conservative”; but that assessment has been questioned. If you can shed some light on this issue, please email us.
2. We’re sorry we don’t have a photograph of Rachel Kovner (which would allow you to see if she’s as beautiful as she is brilliant). The picture at right — seemingly of a camel’s head, framed by cut grass, in the flatbed of a truck — is from her Facebook profile. But there are no actual photos of Rachel in said profile.
3. For the record, we bear no ill-will towards Ms. Kovner (who is a wonderful person by all accounts; see point #4, infra). To the extent that you detect some snark in yesterday’s post, please understand that it has nothing whatsoever to do with Rachel. It’s all about us, and our self-professed envy.
Here’s how we would summarize the main point of our prior post:

Rachel Kovner woman is a legal genius. Her résumé — Harvard College, Stanford Law School, #1 in the history of her law school, Stanford Law Review (senior articles editor) — is a work of art. She’s clerking for one of the best appellate judges in the country, followed by one of the best Supreme Court justices. And, to top it all off, her dad is worth $2.5 billion.

Why can’t God spread that stuff around? Why do some people lead incredibly charmed lives, while the rest of us wallow in mediocrity and sorrow?

“Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears…”*

But this should in no way be read as saying that the Empress of Palo Alto doesn’t deserve every accolade she has earned; it’s just our own petty player-hating.
After all, we also envy Adrien Brody’s body, and Bill Gates’s billions. But we recognize that they worked hard for these things and fully deserve them. (Yes, we know that some of you think Bill Gates and Microsoft are instruments of Satan; but you see what we’re trying to get at.)
4. Despite her incredible brilliance, writing talent (for which she won a prize while at Harvard), and vast familial wealth, Rachel Kovner is a down-to-earth and wonderful human being. Sources describe her as “very modest,” “low-key,” and “sweet — but in a delightful rather than cloying sort of way.” According to one source, Rachel is “so wonderfully modest, you would have no idea of her background [as the daughter of a billionaire].”
In short, Rachel Kovner is a superstar — but she hasn’t allowed her brilliance and her wealth to go to her head. We look forward to reporting on her conquest of the legal world in the months and years ahead.
Rachel Kovner, We’re Not Worthy [WSJ Law Blog]
NewsMakers [Harvard University Gazette]
Rachel Kovner [Facebook]
Inbreeding at One First Street [Underneath Their Robes]
Earlier: Definitive Proof That Life Isn’t Fair
* Okay, you’re right: We actually never get tired of listening to the sound of our tears.

(hidden for your protection)

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