No, We Won't Make a Joke About Howard K. Stern's "Briefs." That's Too Gross Even For Us.

Oooh boy. Last night we read the extensive coverage of Anna Nicole Smith in the latest issue of US Weekly, focused on the (still mysterious) death of her 20-year-old son, Daniel. So we thought we were pretty caught up on ANS developments.
But this morning we received this breaking news, about an attorney-client “relationship” that went, er, beyond the scope of the original representation. From CNN:

An attorney representing former Playboy Playmate and reality television star Anna Nicole Smith said Tuesday he is the father of her daughter, born earlier this month in the Bahamas.

Howard K. Stern added that he plans to marry Smith.

“Anna and I have been in a relationship and we love each other, and it’s been going on for a very long time, and because of my relationship as her lawyer, we felt that it was best to keep everything hidden.”

“Hidden”? Did any of you watch “The Anna Nicole Smith Show”?
Okay, that was rhetorical. But we did — at least the first season. And based on what we saw, the possibility that Smith and Stern might have been more than just attorney and client was definitely in “plain view.” It certainly seemed that, regardless of Smith’s feelings, Stern was definitely into her (and that was before she lost all the TrimSpa weight; now she looks fabulous).
So we’re not TOO surprised to learn of hanky-panky going on between Smith and Stern (even if it may have violated legal ethics rules). But we do question whether Stern is the father of Smith’s newborn daughter, Danilynne. (Origin, per Stern: “where that comes from is that Daniel used to call Anna or his mom Mamma Lynne.”) Here’s why:

Entertainment reporter and photographer Larry Birkhead also claims to be the father of the girl, named Danilynne Hope. In a statement, Birkhead said Smith told him he is the child’s father, and that he has proof.

He said he accompanied Smith to doctors’ appointments until a “minor disagreement” took place while she was pregnant. He suggested a DNA test be conducted to determine the child’s paternity. He also made similar comments to “Entertainment Tonight.”

Well! In terms of Hollywood trends, place “Paternity Confusion” under the “In” column. First we hear the rumor that Suri Cruise is actually Chris Klein’s kid. And now we have no clue as to who fathered Smith’s spawn.
Stern, for his part, insists that the child is his. But he took the Fifth on whether Smith and Birkhead had a sexual relationship:

LARRY KING: To your knowledge were they ever intimate?

HOWARD STERN: You know that’s something I don’t even want to get into when we’re talking about Daniel’s death. I just don’t think this is the time for it. [Read: YES.]

KING: But does it give you concern that there might be a shot that the DNA might exclude you or is there no doubt that you’re the father?

STERN: I think based on the timing of it that there shouldn’t be a doubt. [Read: I will try to prevent a paternity test.]

We’re going to withhold judgment until we see some DNA evidence. If it’s good enough to get prisoners off of death row, it’s good enough to determine the daddy of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.
Attorney: I’m Anna Nicole’s baby’s father [CNN]
Howard K. Stern Actually Slept With Anna Nicole Smith [Gawker]

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