don't feed the animals.jpegSadly, today’s summer associate story isn’t as exciting as the misadventures of the amateur stripper. Rather, it’s an all-too-familiar tale: summer associate goes to firm event; summer associate gets rip-roaringly drunk; summer associate acts crazy.
But hey, we’ve got to make do with what we’ve been given. And lately you guys have been somewhat delinquent as tipsters. Tut tut!
So here’s today’s tale of idiocy and woe:

I received this story thirdhand, so I can’t vouch for it that strongly. But I’ve heard it from multiple people, and I believe it to be true, at least in broad outline. (If I’ve gotten a few details wrong, maybe your readers can correct me.) [Ed. note: Please see the comments to this post.]

It involves a summer associate at a big firm in Los Angeles (maybe Latham or O’Melveny, but I can’t remember). This guy went to a firm event and got very, very drunk. In his inebriated state, he started to hit on the wife of one of the permanent associates — very aggressively.

This behavior was out-of-character for the SA, a milquetoast-ish kid of Indian ancestry. But he was drunk off his ass, and you know how people can get when they’re hammered.

The permanent associate, after enduring the summer associate’s rude treatment of his wife for quite a while, finally told the SA — politely but firmly — to back off. At this point, the summer completely lost it. He flipped out and started yelling at the associate, repeatedly and maniacally, “I have a knife!” and “I’m going to kill you!”

And hey, guess what — the summer DIDN’T get an offer. It’s nice to know that when it comes to summer associate misbehavior, firms draw the line somewhere (e.g., death threats).

Heh. Who knew South Asian guys could be so much fun? And you thought they were only good for winning spelling bees! (Oh, and getting Republican presidential aspirants into deep doo-doo…)
Earlier: Prior summer associate stories (scroll down).


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