The scandal surrounding the firing of the eight U.S. Attorneys, while explosive and salacious, has presented us with some challenges. It’s a fast-moving story, and the information just keeps flooding in.
And because it’s such a huge story, the MSM has been covering it like crazy. We asked ourselves: What’s left for ATL to do?
Answer: Sponsor a U.S. Attorneys hotties contest!
Now that our Law Librarian Hotties contest is over, we must find a new group of legal professional hotties to rank. In light of all the public attention recently focused upon United States Attorneys, they’re an excellent subject for our next hotness competition.
There are many reasons to focus on chief federal prosecutors for a hotties contest. They’re clearly public figures, so they don’t present the same privacy concerns as so-called “civilians.” Their photographs are easy to find, because they’re always appearing before media outlets.
And, most importantly, some of them are pretty darn hot. For example, the hunky Patrick Fitzgerald (N.D. Ill.) helped make the Plamegate scandal worth following (with an assist from the scorchingly hot Valerie Plame herself). The apolitical zeal with which Pat Fitzgerald pursued the Scooty Libby prosecution was modern manliness at its best.
There are some fine offerings on the distaff side, too. The elegant Carol Lam (S.D. Cal.), according to her critics, was easy on immigration enforcement. But she’s pretty easy on the eyes, too!
(We could say more about Carol Lam’s hotness, but we won’t, ’cause she kinda looks like our aunt.)
We are now accepting your nominations of hot United States Attorneys. If you’d like to submit an attractive U.S Attorney for consideration, please review the rules and nomination guidelines, which appear after the jump. Thanks!
First, here are the rules:
1. The nominee must be a CURRENT United States Attorney (subject to one exception, set forth below).
2. Exception: You MAY nominate a former U.S. Attorney, IF that former U.S. Attorney is one of the eight prosecutors at the center of the current controversy. If these prosecutors were improperly removed, as some Democrats claim, then why should they be left out of all the fun?
3. Your nominee must be THE United States Attorney for a district, i.e., the CHIEF federal prosecutor for the jurisdiction. No Assistant U.S. Attorneys, please. (Maybe we’ll do a contest for them later.)
4. Acting U.S. Attorneys are acceptable nominees. Senate confirmation is not required for this contest.
Second, the submission guidelines. To nominate a hot U.S. Attorney, here’s what you must email us (subject line: USA Hotties):
(1) the nominee’s name, title, and judicial district;
(2) a decent-sized, reasonably high-quality, digital photograph of the nominee (ideally a face pic); and
(3) a brief testimonial, no more than a paragraph or two, in which you explain why this sexy prosecutor deserves to be named America’s hottest United States Attorney.
Please note that incomplete submissions will be DISREGARDED. Nominations without a picture will be ignored, no matter how emphatically you rave about the candidate’s hotness.
As always, tipsters and nominators will remain anonymous (unless you give away your identity in your testimonial, e.g., “My husband Chris is the hottest U.S. Attorney in all the land!”).
We look forward to hearing from you!