Yesterday we wrote about a former summer associate in the Chicago office of Katten Muchin Rosenman. He was fired earlier this month, after he allegedly (1) made racially insensitive remarks and (2) engaged in inappropriate physical contact with female summer associates.
With respect to the first allegation, it’s claimed that he first made a racist comment to another summer associate. When she got angry, he supposedly told her he liked “angry black women.”
(Hmm… What’s he doing for the rest of the summer? We hear that Shanetta Cutlar is hiring.)
With respect to the second allegation, it’s claimed that the ex-SA “repeatedly smack[ed] the asses of female summers” or “play[ed] grab ass with female summers.” What was he thinking? This is obviously unacceptable.
(Silly summer. Ass-grabbing is for partners!)
Read the rest, after the jump.
Now, as we explained yesterday, this is the kinder, gentler ATL. We have no intention of naming this summer associate. We’ll also delete any comments that name him or speculate as to his identity.
But this gives rise to a dilemma: How shall we refer to him? The “Katten Kreep” is serviceable, but surely we can come up with a more colorful nickname — ideally, a superhero nickname.
Kneel, former Katten summer. By the powers invested in us, we hereby dub thee: The Rumpshaker.
Former summer associates are like superheroes. Sure, they’re fantastic as individuals. But when they join forces, like the X-Men — that’s why we call them the X-Summers — they’re even more powerful!
Imagine a meeting between The Rumpshaker and Aquagirl. He grabs her toned swimmer’s ass — which, to him, is the equivalent of a handshake (hence the nickname).
The Rumpshaker and Aquagirl are now in physical contact. Together they exclaim: “Wonder twin powers, activate!”
The Rumpshaker says: “Form of… the Hudson River!” Aquagirl says: “Form of… A giant, ass-shaped raft!”
And together they make their great escape from Biglaw, leaving others to draft Asset Purchase Agreements and review document dumps. Later, suckas!!!
Earlier: Summer Associate of the Day: The Katten Kreep
The X-Summers: Submissions, Please