Bad Ideas, Biglaw, Drinking, Lesbians, Rudeness, Summer Associates

X-Summers: O’Melveny & Mystery Man

X Men small X Summers X Summer Associates Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgOf course we’re not done with our series on the mishaps of summer associate. There’s just too much material. If you have an anecdote to share, please review our submission guidelines, and then email us.
Here’s our latest X-Summer. The good news is that this story is current, from this summer (although we gladly take old stories too). The bad news is that many details are missing — but maybe you can help us out with that.
1. Superhero name: O’Melveny & Mystery Man
2. Special power: Ability to spawn a hundred stories about the true reasons for his departure.
3. Summered: O’Melveny & Myers, summer 2007 (southern California).
4. Claim to fame: According to allegations in circulation:

Ellen DeGeneres Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg[O]ne of our summers got fired… Apparently, while he was on the Newport retreat, he did something offensive, and no one knows what, exactly. The most likely story is that he said something homophobic to a lesbian partner, but it’s all speculation.

The rumors have gotten out of control, though. Apparently this story has reached New York, and has blossomed into one about two summers: one allegedly groped an associate, and the other supposedly exposed himself to a bunch of attorneys. It’s amazing. Legal gossip is a nationwide network.

Amen to that. Ain’t the internets great?
More discussion, after the jump.


The rest of the account, in pertinent part:

In any case, today, three weeks after he disappeared, our recruiting committee finally addressed the issue. They said something like this: “Guys, we know you’ve heard about what happened. And we know you’re curious. Just know that it was extremely awful, something I have never seen done before by any summer. It was incredibly offensive. But in the interest of privacy, I can’t tell you what it is.” Literally, they called an emergency mandatory meeting in the middle of the day today to tell us exactly this.

From a second source, we received this information (which we believe, based on certain details, to refer to the same individual):

About four weeks into the summer, [this O'Melveny & Myers summer associate] gets piss drunk at a firm retreat and starts becoming “verbally abusive” towards the partners, lawyers, and other associates. It was so bad that they called him into the office the next day (he was too hungover to come to work in the morning) and fired him on the spot. He didn’t even make it to July. I don’t know too many details, though.

5. What happened next: Fired. See supra.
Do you have more details? If so, please email us (subject line: “O’Melveny & Mystery Man”). Thanks.
(The usual rules apply. Please don’t name the OMM Man or speculate about his identity. Thanks.)
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of summer associates (scroll down)

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45 Responses to “X-Summers: O’Melveny & Mystery Man”

  1. first! says:

    FIRST!

  2. Anonymous says:

    gossip? please? anyone? i know there’s got to be a great story behind this idiot.

  3. LAME says:

    Lame stuff- This really needs to improve. The concept of scandalous SA stories is great but the details being provided aren’t. These stories need to improve pronto! More drunks, more office sex and more drug use please!

  4. Anonymous says:

    The Ellen photo is completely unnecessary. You mention lesbians and so you have to post Ellen’s pic? That’s totally inappropriate.
    I mean, are there famous people that represent all minorities? Is it Bill Cosby whenever you say “black” or Jennifer Lopez when you say “latino”…I don’t get this.

  5. Anonymous says:

    oh, and this one’s a SNOOZER.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Please tell me 3:16 is sarcasm.
    And someone must know what happened with Mystery Man—posting anonymously would be great.

  7. Isabella says:

    Everyone knows that Ellen is the inter-galactic symbol for lesbianism.

  8. Anonymous says:

    3:16: LMAO!!! Funniest comment all day…

  9. Anonymous says:

    Lame – you’re nuts… this has “awesome” written all over it. Someone in the firm had to be there when this kid melted down. Share, please. It’ll feel sooo good.

  10. Anonymous says:

    how about a male summer getting into a fight with a girl?

  11. Anonymous says:

    321: How about it? Weirdo.

  12. You Guys are Lame says:

    I think this story has a great deal of potential. I love the partner saying “Just know that it was extremely awful, something I have never seen done before by any summer. It was incredibly offensive.”
    Aren’t any of you curious to find out what was so offensive?

  13. Quasi Lame says:

    I agree it has potential but I am afraid we will never get the details to realize that potential.

  14. Anonymous says:

    I agree with 3:16. Take down the picture of Ellen. That’s totally ridiculous and inappropriate.

  15. Anonymous says:

    A friend who works at Bracewell & Giuliani told me that one summer was fired this summer and just sat at his desk weeping for a few mintues (very loudly) before leaving. People just stopped and watched this kid crying, unable to get up from his desk. Lat, get on this.

  16. Gloria says:

    New Yawk! New Yawk!

  17. anon says:

    Wait, Ellen is gay?

  18. Anonymous says:

    An old classmate of mine was there, apparently. All the summers were getting drunk, and apparently an associate told a joke–the guy spit out his mouthful of champagne all over the female associate; evidently on accident. Other associates in the room thought he did it on purpose… she was wearing a white t-shirt.

  19. Anonymous says:

    The lamest of lame is that they don’t even know which office it was (i.e., Newport Beach, Los Angeles, or Culver City). It could have been any of them–“Southern California” doesn’t say much and since there was a “trip” to Newport, that suggests that it wasn’t in Newport, though I can’t be sure.

  20. Anon says:

    3:16, I’m sorry, the correct answer is Jesse Jackson. Jesse Jackson represents all black people. Just ask him.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Don’t speculate, 3:49. Maybe Lat had that information and withheld it deliberately.

  22. Anonymous says:

    I laughed out loud at 3:43’s comment. That story is way funnier than the story in this post.

  23. EWG says:

    Ellen With Girls

  24. Anonymous says:

    3:43 is right. The guy who spat the water wasn’t the one who got in trouble, though. It was just an accident. When the guy next to her started singing “AW SKEET SKEET SKEET mothaf—a!” he got fired.

  25. Anonymous says:

    There was a guy, I think that he was an SA at O’Melveny & Myers, and he became verbally abusive, but I don’t know what he said, and he was fired?
    And this is supposed to be an amusing SA story?
    Its not a story without, at a minimum, what he/she/did/said to get fired. Who was there/offended (e.g. partners, spouses, lesbian partners….)
    If ATL really has “just too much material” then trot some of it out.
    I agree the post is weak.

  26. Rad says:

    Oh my god, there was a summer and he totally got fired. Not sure how or why or when or anything about it…but, totally rad story, right?

  27. Anonymous says:

    3:53, lmao.
    I agree that the guy who spat the water might be spared if it was truly an accident.
    The real pitfall would be making any sort of joke after that happened. It would be tempting, to help “lighten the mood,” but whether you bring up wet-t-shirt contests, Spring Break, skeet-shooting, or just girls and being wet in general, you’re likely to offend people.

  28. anon says:

    Exactly, 4:03–awesome.

  29. Anonymous says:

    3:58 #1 for the win.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Ellen likes girls and so do I.

  31. Anonymous says:

    why do i keep getting server error 500s when i try to post a comment
    no wonder so many double posts lately

  32. Loyola2L says:

    And I still don’t have a job.

  33. Law Smokes Weed says:

    Ellen’s girlfriend is hot!

  34. Anonymous says:

    There once was a young Summer in Newport
    Who encountered with a Lesbian viewpoint
    When the besotted Summer emoted
    The partners demoted
    The Summer right out of the office
    –Anonymous

  35. the McDonald's fry cook. says:

    dear L2L,
    i’m hiring! pick me!
    love,
    purveyor of fine McJobs

  36. Anonymous says:

    3:16 , who would you prefer to rep lesbianism? Aileen Wuornos? Eleanor Roosevelt? Prince with a jeri curl?

  37. Anonymous says:

    L2L – I thought you had an interview at Latham? Whatever happened to that?

  38. Anonymous says:

    3:16 , who would you prefer to rep lesbianism? Aileen Wuornos? Eleanor Roosevelt? Prince with a jeri curl?
    There once was a young Summer in Newport
    Who encountered a Lesbian viewpoint
    When the besotted Summer emoted
    The partners demoted
    The Summer right out of the office
    –Anonymous
    Hmm… is there anything else we should repeat over and over?

  39. Anonymous says:

    Wow. This thread is a sad commentary on the limerick-creation ability of lawyers, or at least legal tabloid readers.

  40. Anonymous says:

    Nice try with the limerick, but the third line has too many syllables.

  41. Loyola 2L's greatest hits says:

    Jury? I think if S&C’s lawyer were to do the decen thing, he would settle and let Charney move on with his life. Realistically though I know he needs to bill time, and bring revenue into PHJW. So he will likely drag this out and bill as much time to this case as possible.

  42. anonymous says:

    Wow. You guys are slipping. That was the most boring summer story ever — “summer gets drunk and gets fired.” Who gives a shit. So boring, I am going to go back to drafting this complaint. Please try to maintain your high standards in the future.

  43. Haikus RULE says:

    Lackluster “poems”
    Mean associates online
    Should get back to work

  44. 5:08 says:

    also, “office” doesn’t come close to rhyming with “Newport.” (Newport/viewpoint was nice though.)

  45. Anonymous says:

    5:14, are we REALLY pronouncing “poems” with two syllables now?

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