This week has been fairly quiet in terms of associate bonus news. We started wondering: Are you, our readers, holding out on us? Have there been bonus announcements from major firms that you haven't told us about?

Maybe not -- at least not from West Coast firms. From an article by Kellie Schmitt for The Recorder:

Want to kill a conversation with a California law firm leader? Talk about bonuses.

Weeks after top New York firms started announcing lavish special bonuses on top of the usual year-end handouts, California's firms have made no moves. This week, leaders at eight of 10 leading West Coast firms declined multiple requests to talk bonuses.

So no, it's not our imagination. West Coast firms are still deliberating about bonuses. For example, we've heard that the relevant committee at O'Melveny & Myers recently met -- but we've not heard about what conclusion they reached.

More discussion, after the jump.

As you've probably noticed, we've been experiencing some technical difficulties around here. And it seems we're not alone.

From an ATL reader at NYU Law School:

More fun at NYU, and this one actually affects me. We had manhole fire near one of the two NYU law dorms (the one I live in), and this has cut the power to the building. Making this even more annoying is that I planned to outline a lot today (yes its nerdy, but one week until exams), and needed an active power source, and am now huddled in the overcrowded law library.

Here's an official story about it: http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=local&id=5803017. We haven't received any news from the Administration.

I realize it's probably a small thing, but if a list-serve clusterf*ck can get on, why not a little power outage.

But since we received that email, the law school administration has spoken. More after the jump.

A reader alerted us to this informative article (registration-free) from the New York Law Journal. A summary from our correspondent:

This piece talks about the New York State bar passage rate, and specifically how the Tier 2 schools jumped up the ranks this year. Cardozo moved to the third-highest bar passage rate out of all the New York law schools, beating out both Fordham and Cornell.

I think with all the tier 2 trash talking on this site lately, you should give a post dedicated to the surprising accomplishment of those tier 2 bar takers in NY.

An excerpt from the article:

For as long as anyone in the legal academy remembers, the top three spots have shifted a few percentage points among Cornell Law, NYU Law and Columbia Law. And for the past several years, Cardozo Law, which opened its doors in 1976, has contended with St. John's University School of Law and Fordham Law for the coveted fourth spot.

"I'm not deeply invested in bar pass rates," said Cardozo Law Dean David Rudenstine. "But I have to confess, I'm really touched. This is a milestone for our school."

Congratulations, Cardozo! Your grads rock the New York bar exam.

Law Schools Report Record Gains in Bar Exam Pass Rate [New York Law Journal]

Gracing the front page of today's Washington Post is an article that will appeal to many ATL readers. It's by Post reporter Ian Shapira, who previously wrote this interesting piece about summer associates. Here's the headline:

Okay, not a terribly novel development. As one of several ATL readers who wrote us about this story observed, "it's not exactly Man Bites Dog."

But even if the article may not be earth-shattering, it's a well-crafted, thought-provoking piece. We think it will get an interesting discussion going. Also, anything that gets a general audience to care about the niche topic of law firms, like a front page WaPo article, is a good thing in our book.

Excerpts and observations, after the jump.

Here's the latest Job of the Week, courtesy of ATL's career partner, Lateral Link. Check out Lateral Link's completely revamped website and new features. Now you can find the Job of the Week listed below in the Featured Jobs section of your MyBio page.

Position: Counsel - Merchant Services Group

Location: New York, NY

Description: Major international credit card company is seeking a counsel to provide legal support to the company's Merchant Services Group, which manages strategic relationships with merchants in the travel and entertainment and B2B industries. Responsibilities include contract negotiation, marketing and strategic relationship support, updates on applicable legal developments, and general business unit legal support, as the primary legal counsel for such groups.

Requirements: Minimum of 5-7 years experience practicing commercial law in an in-house department or law firm. Experience in the credit card industry desirable, but not required. Member of the New York bar in good standing. Extensive experience drafting and negotiating complex commercial agreements, including strategic alliances and marketing agreements. Business-oriented, financially sophisticated, proactive lawyer. Strong work ethic.

Job Code: 7293

Earlier: Prior Job of the Week listings (scroll down)

If you go to Thacher Proffitt & Wood, you might get laid off. Or you might get.... oh, never mind.

From Roll On Friday:

In an exciting development for lonely male structured finance lawyers, US firm Thacher Proffitt has recruited a former Playboy model to join its structured finance group.

The lawyer bared all back in 1999 while she was at university but has now joined the firm as an associate. However, she may yet be grateful for another career to fall back on: this week the firm warned 24 of its structured finance and real estate associates that they are likely to be laid off in the New Year.

Managing partner Paul Tvetenstrand (try saying that after a couple of pints) blamed the lay-offs on the slow market following the credit crunch. Putting a brave face on the news, he claimed that it would be "unfair" on the associates for them to keep their jobs as that would mean "putting their careers on hold". RollOnFriday suspects the unfortunate associates might not see it that way.

Tvetenstrand declined to comment on whether or not he had previously had a modelling career.

In addition to the likely layoffs, TPW is encouraging first-year associates to depart voluntarily. But is giving them an ex-Playmate for a colleague likely to encourage associate attrition? We have our doubts.

Thacher Proffitt recruits Playboy model [RollOnFriday.com]

Earlier: Nationwide Layoff Watch: Thacher Proffitt Announces Likely Future Layoffs

Because it's much better to have a toy manufacturer as an enemy than an angry mob of club-wielding Sudanese. Here's the latest news about the whole "Teddy Bear named Mohammed" controversy, from the Daily Mail (via Drudge):

Thousands of Islamic fanatics wielding clubs and knives are marching through the streets of Khartoum demanding the execution of teddy bear teacher Gillian Gibbons.

As the mother-of-two started a 15-day prison term, protestors left mosques across the Sudanese capital to denounce the "lenient verdict" and call for the death penalty.

For those of you who haven't been following the story, here's some background:

Mrs Gibbons, a divorced mother-of-two, was arrested on Sunday and on Wednesday charged with insulting Islam, inciting hatred and showing contempt for religious beliefs.

It came after seven-year-old pupils chose to call a teddy bear Mohammed at the Unity High School in Khartoum, where she had worked since August.

During the court case behind closed doors yesterday it was revealed that the school's office assistant, Sara Khawad, had complained to the education authorities - leading to the teacher's arrest.

In a statement read to court, Mrs Gibbons tearfully stressed she had not meant to cause offence and pointed out that it had been her pupils who had chosen the name.

Executing someone for naming a Teddy Bear "Mohammed" might raise an Eighth Amendment issue. But we don't think they have that over in Sudan.

Thousands of Islamic fanatics wielding knives demand jailed teddy bear teacher is executed [Daily Mail]

* Wow, you're hanging around for that couch change Paterno? Why don't you do us a favor and retire already? Seriously; it's enough already with the being old and the sucking. [AP via How Appealing]

* Mas CAFE, por favor. [CNN]

* BP admits it has a little bit of a pollution problem. [Jurist]

* He shot a man in Reno...but not to watch him die, according to him. [Reno Gazette-Journal]

* Georgia Supreme Court Chief Justice pays to settle ethics violaton claims. [Athens Banner-Herald]

We commend secretaries who don't just cover the phones, but show some initiative and entrepreneurial spirit. From the Chicago Tribune:

A receptionist for the Cook County public defender's office accepted delivery of almost 40 pounds of marijuana at her Loop office, prosecutors alleged Wednesday.

At her bond hearing Wednesday, prosecutors said Lamour Holloway, 40, accompanied by two children, carted the drugs to her husband as he waited in a car behind the Cook County Administration Building at 69 W. Washington St....

"I think it's clear that not only is she committing a crime by accepting a package containing cannabis using the mail service, but as a public employee there is a sense of trust," said Assistant State's Atty Anna Demacopoulos. "She is an employee of the public defender's office, working in a public building, and she violated the sanctity of that public building."

Oh please. It's not like she worked in the prosecutor's office; she worked for the PD. If she wants to walk a mile in the shoes of a criminal defendant, like the ones her office represents, what's wrong with that?

Bail set at $80,000 in drug arrest at county building [Chicago Tribune]

This actually happened quite some time ago -- last month, to be exact. But we're happy to write about it because (1) it hasn't been blogged about elsewhere, as far as we know, and (2) with the passage of time, tempers have cooled. So maybe now people can look back on it with amusement rather than anger.

A summary, from one of the several tipsters who drew our attention to this:

A friend of mine at Cumberland School of Law in Birmingham, Alabama, sent me this. Apparently some girl sent out a mass email about President Bush's veto of some health care legislation. This set off a whole clusterf**k of responding emails, with the debate devolving into one over race and class. From reading through the several threads, it's almost frightening that some of these people are actually going to become lawyers.

[One of the more] recent post[s] is especially enlightening.... [T]he author states that "The powers that be count on sellouts to climb the ladder of success and refuse to help those underneath them. That way they can use you sellouts as tokens...."

However, the most hilarious part of this whole thing is where one of the black (1L) students responds to an Asian student by saying, "To the Asian.....u aint black." Further idiocy follows.

The aforementioned "idiocy," after the jump.

The ABA Journal just announced its Blawg 100: "the 100 best Web sites by lawyers, for lawyers, as chosen by the editors of the ABA Journal." And we're happy to report that Above the Law is among them. Very cool!

The ABA Journal has divided the 100 legal blogs into different categories. Readers can vote for their favorite website in each category. ATL appears, appropriately enough, in the Gossip category.

In the voting, right now we're getting our clock cleaned by a site called That's What She Said. Can you help us catch up?

To cast your vote, click here. Thanks in advance for your support!

The ABA Journal Blawg 100 [ABA Journal]

With the police, who pulled you over for a traffic infraction. But the good news is that you're getting it back. From CBS:

Eight grams of medical marijuana seized from a Garden Grove man during a traffic stop must be returned to him, according to an appeals court ruling directing local law enforcement to uphold state, not federal law.

A three-justice panel of the 4th District Court of Appeal [in California] weighed in on the issue in a published decision that sets precedent for future cases on similar issues.

The marijuana, which belonged to Felix Kha, 22, was confiscated during a traffic stop on June 10, 2005.

The city of Garden Grove tried to argue "that to the extent state law authorizers or mandates the return of Kha's marijuana, it is preempted by federal law." The appeals court didn't see it that way:

Kha's attorneys argued that the 10th Amendment to the Constitution effectively prohibits federal interference with California's medical marijuana laws, and the three-justice panel of the 4th District Court of Appeal agreed.

The justices found that because, under state law, Kha was lawfully entitled to possess the marijuana, "due process and fundamental fairness dictate that it be returned to him."

Indeed. Pass the bong, Your Honors!

P.S. The headline that CBS gave to the story is wrong. It was a state court, not a federal court, that issued the ruling.

Federal Court Rules Pot To Be Returned To Driver [CBS]

Compared to their colleagues in the trial court, appellate judges have a reputation for being delicate, academic creatures, with less in the way of "street smarts." But don't lump New Mexico Court of Appeals Judge Ira Robinson in that group.

From the Albuquerque Journal (subscription):

New Mexico Court of Appeals Judge Ira Robinson expected the worst Tuesday night when he fell to the ground as he tried to fight off a man lunging at him with a knife.

"I really thought the son of a gun was gonna stab me when I was down," he said.

So how did it all unfold?

Robinson, 65, said in an interview Wednesday that the ski-mask-wearing assailant demanded valuables from him and two cousins visiting from San Diego as they walked to their car parked near La Fonda about 10 p.m.

But Robinson refused the robber's demands:

"He said 'Give me your money, (expletive)!' I said, 'I'm not gonna give you a damn thing!'''

Nice. But we do wish the judge had invoked his judicial office. Maybe he could have held his assailant in contempt?

A little more, after the jump.

In the absence of more associate bonus news -- we've heard rumors of various committees at various firms meeting, but we have no new announcements -- let's move on to a related subject. What about bonuses for staff attorneys, the non-partnership-track lawyers employed by many large law firms?

Here's what one of them had to say:

Staff attorneys who work at Biglaw read your blog, too. Most shops have a bonus tied to hours, but they do not specify what the payout will be at each tier (2000, 2200), claiming they'll see where the market is at in December. I'm wondering whether other firms have a similarly vague policy (vague because the market for staff atty compensation isn't as established as associates, but it still exists). It would be great if you could dedicate a bonus post to this.

I know staff attorneys will get slayed as third-rate, but that's why we didn't work as hard in law school to try to get recruited.... We don't give a s**t!

Our jobs may be headed to India, as glorified contract attorneys, but we do handle the grunt work, so associates don't have to. We make their jobs easier, I think. Yeah, I know, they have to answer to the partner -- but see my last sentence in the preceding paragraph.

If any of you have information to share about bonuses for staff attorneys, please spill your guts in the comments to this post. Thanks.

The story of Cordero v. Epstein -- the lawsuit filed by an aspiring model against prominent Wall Street financier Jeffrey Epstein, alleging that he took advantage of her when she was underage -- gets weirder by the day.

The New York Post reported that the model, Maximilia Cordero, was actually born a man -- one Maximillian Cordero, b. 1983. Cordero then sued the Post, filing as an exhibit with the court a birth certificate showing she was born a female. A number of you questioned the document's authenticity, pointing out various irregularities. And such skepticism made sense: Cordero, despite filing the birth certificate with the court, is not including the Post's claim that she's a transsexual in her lawsuit.

But even if it may not be the gravamen of her complaint, Cordero still wants you to know she's not a tranny. From a statement that William Unroch, her lawyer / roommate / possible ex-boyfriend, sent to the Daily Intelligencer (via Gawker):

Ms. Cordero will be happy to attend a televised nude settlement conference or celebrity charity benefit nude tea party with Rupert Murdoch and Lucifer Carne [a reference to Post reporter Lucy Carne] if the NY Post feels this would clear up the matter. Both Ms Cordero and Mr. Murdoch can appear nude and state their positions on this matter of grave public concern.

Hmm... Time for an ATL field trip?

More insanity, after the jump.

Our latest legal celebrity sighting: Justice Antonin Scalia, spotted at Georgetown University Law Center. He is believed to have been at GULC to speak to a con law class.

Of the current justices on the Supreme Court, Justice Scalia clearly inspires the greatest amount of fanatical devotion. How many other justices have their own fansite?

(Okay, Justice Thomas has one too. And with his new, bestselling memoir, My Grandfather's Son, he's definitely building a fan base. But we still think that Justice Scalia has the most groupies of any member of the SCOTUS.)

And how many other justices are asked to sign students' laptop computers? This student, who had his laptop autographed by AS, was proudly displaying his computer to his classmates, saying that he felt Scalia had "blessed" his laptop for the upcoming exams.

With such a large and devoted following, we have a feeling that Justice Scalia's forthcoming book -- Making Your Case: The Art of Persuading Judges, a guide to persuasive legal writing and oral advocacy, which he's writing together with legendary legal writing teacher Bryan Garner -- will sell pretty well too.

Scalia to Join Supreme Court Book Club [Legal Times]

* NWA has to pay pilots' attorney's fees. [AP via Yahoo! Finance]

* Morrisey's not only a miserable bastard, he's a xenophobe too! (Don't sue us, Morrisey; we're just kidding.) [Contact Music]

* Ford rolls over on Explorer suits. [AP via Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* HBO chickens out on trademark suit. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Georgia man with mandatory 10-year sentence in case similar to Genarlow Wilson's (though different enough according to the Georgia Supreme Court that he was still in prison) given plea deal to get out of jail. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Yesterday the FBI executed a search warrant on the Scruggs Law Firm in Oxford, Mississippi -- the shop of high-flying plaintiffs' lawyer Dickie Scruggs. It wasn't immediately clear what investigation the search was related to. Here's some commentary on the situation that we enjoyed, from David Rossmiller (in brackets, following excerpt from news article):

"This is a surprise to everybody connected to the Scruggs Firm," [lawyer Joey] Langston said, "but I've got to tell you people who are very high profile and very successful have to contend with unpleasantries and this is unpleasant, but we'll contend with it."

[I like the touch of noblesse oblige here -- as if the FBI descending on one's place of business is the same as, say, getting heckled by drunken lumpenproletariat while showing up in top hat and tails to receive an award for charitable giving.]

Now we have a better idea of what the office search was probably about. From the Mississippi Clarion-Ledger:

Multimillionaire trial lawyer Dickie Scruggs has been indicted on charges of conspiring to bribe a judge in the case involving $26.5-million in attorney fees involving Katrina claims....

According to the indictment, Lafayette County Circuit Judge Henry Lackey cooperated with the FBI in the investigation after reporting a bribery overture to authorities.

According to the indictment, Scruggs and others tried to influence Lackey by giving him $40,000 in cash to resolve the attorney fees’ dispute in favor of Scruggs’ law firm. Some of the conversations between Balducci and Lackey were captured on tape.

An interesting observation, from the WSJ Law Blog:

Down in Mississippi, there has been speculation of a connection between the FBI search warrant and this week’s surprise resignation of Sen. Trent Lott (R-MS), Scruggs’s brother-in-law. Lott’s office told the Sun Herald the two events were but a mere coincidence.

Because, you know, it's so much better to have people think you stepped down because of a gay sex scandal, as opposed to your brother-in-law's indictment.

(For the record, the rumors about Sen. Lott and the gay sex scandal appear to be unfounded. See HuffPo and Wonkette -- two sites that would, of course, love for the rumors to be true.)

Scruggs arrested on bribery charges [Clarion-Ledger]
More on FBI search of Scruggs' law offices [Insurance Coverage Law Blog]
Dickie Scruggs Indicted On Federal Bribery Charges [WSJ Law Blog]

* Hey look! Biglaw partners have an ATL of their own, and it's called, appropriately enough, More Partner Income.

Here's a post about how to get associates to enter their hours in timely fashion -- so partners can get themselves PAID, w00t. Helpful hint: Offer them CANDY! [MorePartnerIncome.com]

* "JD, No Job, Debt - What An Opportunity!" Here's some advice about how to deal with your predicament. [Law and More]

* Boalt Hall -- er, Berkeley Law -- students discuss whether post-1L grades matter. For the record, Yale does have grades, and its system is pretty similar to Berkeley's (except without "High Honors"). [Nuts & Boalts]

* Speaking of Yale Law School, Professor Ian Ayres -- our small group professor, and a great teacher -- has come up with a brilliant way to get people to lose weight. If you overindulged over Thanksgiving, you should check it out. [New York Sun]

Some of our prior coverage of Heller Ehrman has been a bit gloomy. We take it all back. Now that the firm's Los Angeles office is under a magnificent new leader -- Nancy Sher Cohen, whom we have previously praised in these pages -- we see nothing but good things ahead.

Legal Pad conducts a very interesting interview with Nancy Cohen. Here's an excerpt:

Legal Pad: How do you feel about “Above the Law” blog calling you “divalicious”?

Cohen: I found out about it from several associate who came to show it to me. Isn’t that funny? I just looked at it and howled. There is a lesson there. You just never know who is going to be writing about you, thinking about you, making comments about you. It’s a reminder that you should always do your best and always be sensitive and nice, civil.

We're confused. Does Ms. Cohen think that we were speaking negatively of her? To the contrary, we had only good things to say. From our prior post:

When we were in private practice, our experiences with Heller Ehrman were quite positive. We attended several depositions defended by the diva-licious Nancy Sher Cohen, who protected her witnesses like a lioness protecting her cubs. We were most impressed by this badass litigatrix (who is also a community activist and cancer survivor; see this profile).

As for the "diva-licious" quip, let the record reflect that the term "diva" is ATL's highest form of praise. Longtime readers are well aware of our obsession with strong-willed women -- especially women who have managed to achieve tremendous success in a traditionally male-dominated field like law.

This is why we are such fans of Senatrix Hillary Clinton, who is a tough, smart, fearless leader. We have no clue why some of you seem to think we don't like her. We think Senator Clinton is fabulous.

Why do you think we've snapped up so many domain names related to her? Visit HillaryClintonIsMyGirl.com, HillaryIsMyGirl.com, Hillarylicious.com, HillaryIsSexy.com, HillarySexy.com, or HillarySex.com. Where do you get redirected to?

'Badass Diva' Ready to Run Heller in L.A. [Legal Pad /CalLaw]

Earlier: Going to Heller in a Handbasket? (Part 2)

Ed. note: We have nothing against headhunters or legal recruiters. To the contrary, we're generally big fans of them -- especially the ones who advertise on ATL, making this website possible.

But it can't be denied that some of them can be real pains in the a**. If you have a headhunter horror story to share, feel free to submit it by email (subject line: "Headhunter Horror Story").

We'll kick off the series with this fantastic story, which a reader just submitted. It's long, but worth it -- highly entertaining, suspenseful, and written with real panache. Enjoy!

********************
Sure, we've all had annoying recruiters call. Many of us have decided to accept a free lunch from these yahoos from time to time to garner some legal gossip. I was not such a person until yesterday, and it turned out to be an utter disaster.

Part 1: The romancing.
A recruiter, let's call him Bob, has been calling me for over a year. I have blown him off 1000 times and told him I am happy at my mid-sized firm. My salary and bonus structure is good, and as a third-year lawyer, I'm really practicing law. (I've never even summarized a deposition.)

One day, we had plans to go to lunch at a nearby seafood restaurant, but I canceled at the last minute. Still, he calls every few weeks about some new position at some major firm looking for a person exactly like me (which is doubtful, considering my less than stellar law school grades).

Part 2: The lunch invitation.
Bob calls me Monday and says that Jones Day is interested in seeing my resume. Again, he tells me what amazing experience I have, blah blah, and asks me to give him my resume. He also says he still wants to take me to lunch. I say, "Let's go tomorrow." He says ok and that he will call me Tuesday morning to finalize plans.

Part 3. The planning.
First thing Tuesday morning, Bob calls and asks me where I'd like to go. I say that I have no idea, he presses me to choose, and I say, "Well, let's redo our old plans and go to [the seafood restaurant]. I've never been there, so I don't know if it's good." He says, "It's...ok, that's good. Let's go there. I wouldn't want to take you to Jason's Deli or anything, and there's not much more over there. Let's meet at noon."

Part 4. The falling apart.
At 11:30, Bob leaves a voice mail that he needs to move our lunch to 12:30. At about 12, he calls again to ask if I got the message. He then says, "I wish I could say that some big negotiation came up, but the truth is, I forgot my ATM pin number and it locked me out from getting cash after I tried three different numbers. So I'll have to use credit for our lunch. But I'll see you at 12:30." He then describes what he'll be wearing.

Read the rest, after the jump.

In the world of Biglaw, bad news and good news go hand in hand these days. Recall that Clifford Chance announced associate layoffs and generous bonuses in the same week.

And now Thacher Proffitt & Wood, on the heels of yesterday's news about likely future layoffs, is raising base salaries for its senior associates. We haven't seen the full memo yet, but here's an excerpt:

"It has long been a primary principle of our attorney compensation philosophy in New York and Washington DC to have our base salaries and annual discretionary bonuses be competitive with the top firms in New York City. In that regard, we are announcing the following changes to associate compensation..."

Our sources describe it as basically a match for the class of 2002 and more senior: 2002 - $250,000, 2001 - $265,000, 2000 - $280,000, and 1999 - $290,000.

Update (2:55 PM): We now have the memo. It appears -- together with additional discussion, including a word about bonuses -- after the jump.

This Friday, at the Ninth Circuit courthouse in San Francisco, a ceremonial "passing of the gavel" will be held. The court's outgoing chief judge, Mary M. Schroeder, will hand over the gavel to her successor, Alex Kozinski. Details about the ceremony appear in this press release (PDF).

From How Appealing (additional links collected below):

Judge Kozinski was able to sneak some humor into the news release:

"The chief judge of the circuit assumes the position based on seniority. The chief judge is the judge in regular active service who is senior in commission of those judges who are (1) 64 years of age or under; (2) have served for one year or more as a circuit judge; and (3) have not served previously as chief judge. Judge Kozinski also believes that looks count, though he can provide no support for that proposition.

That last sentence, we're guessing, is a nod to Judge Kozinski's victory in our Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary contest. With such a robust sense of humor, is it any surprise that Judge Kozinski has his own Facebook fan club?

The Ninth Circuit's press release states that "still and video cameras will be permitted" at the gavel passing ceremony, which is taking place on Friday, November 30, at 4 p.m., in Courtroom One of the James R. Browning U.S. Courthouse. If an ATL reader (or readers) would be willing to take pictures or videos and send them our way, we'd be most grateful. Thanks!

Ninth Circuit Attempts to Prepare Itself for Chief Judge Alex Kozinski [How Appealing]
‘Hottie’ Judge Kozinski Continues Joke in Press Release [ABA Journal]
Apochiefosis [Volokh Conspiracy]
Gavel Passing to Mark Changing of the Guard for Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals (PDF) [U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit]

Before Thanksgiving, we put up an open thread devoted to discussion of the California bar exam. We're surprised that nobody mentioned this interesting tidbit of news (which we learned about from a tipster via email):

High-powered Sullivan & Cromwell partner Eric Krautheimer, the alleged tormentor of gay associate Aaron Charney, took and passed the July 2007 California bar exam.

Congratulations, Mr. Krautheimer!

Back in April, at the height of the Aaron Charney controversy, it was rumored that Krautheimer was going to be transferred to S&C's Los Angeles office. Some speculated that it was to remove him from the New York office, where Brokeback Lawfirm all went down. But if Krautheimer's move to the West Coast is still going forward, despite the settlement of the Charney lawsuit, we're guessing Krautheimer has his own personal reasons for wanting to move to L.A.

On our earlier post about the move rumors, a commenter called S&C LA wrote: "No truth to this at all. Sorry, this rumor is just that and nothing more." Presumably this commenter thinks that Eric Krautheimer -- a leading M&A lawyer, and a partner making millions of dollars a year, at one of the nation's top corporate law firms -- took California's three-day bar exam just for fun.

It must have been strange for a veteran lawyer, almost 15 years out of law school, to be taking the bar next to newly minted law school graduates -- including 18-year-old Kathleen Holtz. But then again, former Stanford Law School dean Kathleen Sullivan did it -- twice.

On the S&C website, Eric Krautheimer is still listed as based in New York. But expect to see him in L.A. sometime soon, now that he's a member of the California bar.

P.S. On the S&C website, the link to Eric Krautheimer's bio was moved from here to here. Was the firm trying to render all of ATL's links to his bio obsolete? If so, nice try -- but nothing that a site-wide "Find and Replace" can't fix.

July 2007 California Bar Examination Pass List [State Bar of California]

Earlier: Brokeback Lawfirm: Is Eric Krautheimer Headed for Hollywood?

A legal staffing agency put up an advertisement soliciting applications for a temporary paralegal position. Cover letters and résumés started rolling in. Like this one:

Hello there,

I am not a paralegal. But, I type 85 WPM and used to be [an] executive assistant and have multiple skillsets, easy to train, that honestly set me $1000 over the salary of a degreed political science bachelors degreed [sic] person. Sadly, she was aggressive and began reading Hitler's methods and worked her way to stop my success with her deception.

The compliance lawyer finally figured out what she was doing and wound up getting rid of her. She now works in buying and selling electrical components somewhere.

So, I have no way to measure her value or mine within this paralegal field. I'll let you be the judge.

A cover letter referencing Hitler? + 10 points. We don't know what "Hitler's methods" consist of, but then again, we never read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Nazis.

Read the rest of this long, strange, rambling cover letter -- does the applicant need a paralegal gig, or a therapist? -- after the jump.

Call us old-fashioned, barbaric, or unenlightened -- but this strikes us as a bit ridiculous. From ABC News:

Massachusetts lawmakers say a proposed measure that would ban parents from spanking their children, even in their own homes, is a way to protect kids from abuse. But many parents believe it's an example of government run amok.

In all 50 states, parents are legally allowed to spank their children. But in 29 states it's illegal for a teacher to practice corporal punishment, including spanking.

A Massachusetts nurse is hoping to change that and make the state the first in the nation to ban corporal punishment at home.

"I think it's ironic that domestic violence applies to everyone except the most vulnerable — children," said Kathleen Wolf, who wrote the bill.

Massachusetts lawmakers will consider the bill today.

Ah, the People's Republic of Massachusetts. If Willie Horton had gotten spanked more as a kid, maybe he wouldn't have turned to a life of crime.

More discussion, plus the obligatory reader poll -- yes, we really do care what you think! -- after the jump.

Wondering where to spend New Year's Eve this year? Well, if you're in New York City, do you have any friends over at Skadden? Surely you must. Considering that the firm recently passed the 2,000 attorney mark, everyone has friends at Skadden (if they don't work there themselves).

From an internal email by "New York office guru" Wally Schwartz, posted at the Skadden Insider blog:

Since our 4 Times Square office is located in such close proximity to New York City's New Year's Eve celebration many employees have rung in the New Year by viewing the festivities from our offices. For the most part these gatherings have been enjoyable and appropriate. However, during last year's celebration there were several problems caused by an excessive number of guests, and, in some cases, excessive drinking.

[T]he following policies are being implemented for this year's celebration:

Each employee is limited to inviting a maximum of three guests, each of whom must be registered with security....

Guests must be accompanied, or met, by their Skadden host in order to be admitted.

No alcohol will be permitted.

A New Year's Eve celebration without booze? That sucks.

Moral of the story: If you're spending New Year's Eve at SASMF, get royally trashed before showing up at Four Times Square.

No vodka in the Skadden lemonade [Skadden Insider]

* Oral argument in New Jersey v. Delaware. [U.S. Supreme Court (PDF) via How Appealing]

* I'll have a Joey Bag of Lawsuits. [AP via Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* TB Andy didn't hurt anybody. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* Grandpa got screwed over by a lawsuit ... [AP via Reno Gazette-Journal]

* Pakistan lets (almost) everyone go, but will the rule of law return? [Jurist]

This episode gives new meaning to the term "flip phone." A cell phone that went off during court proceedings caused one judge to, well, flip out. From the NYT's City Room blog:

The next time you pass through the city court system in Niagara Falls, N.Y., remember to turn your cellphone off.

Today, the Commission on Judicial Conduct recommended the removal of a judge in Niagara Falls City Court who had, what the commission’s chairman, Raoul L. Felder, called, “two hours of inexplicable madness” when a cellphone rang in his courtroom.

Specifically, on the morning of March 11, 2005, the judge, Robert M. Restaino, was presiding over a slate of domestic violence cases when he heard a phone ring in his courtroom. He told the roughly 70 people in the courtroom, according to the commission’s report, that “every single person is going to jail in this courtroom” unless the phone was turned over.

Look, we hate cellphones ringing at inappropriate times as much as the next guy. But was Judge Restaino's reaction a tad over the top? We suggest -- with respect, Your Honor -- that you're a few beeps short of a ringtone.

Read what happened next, after the jump.

* Paul Tvetenstrand, managing partner of Thacher Proffitt & Wood, talks to the Wall Street Journal's Jamie Heller about the imminent associate layoffs (previously discussed here). [WSJ Law Blog]

* Our law school classmate, Professor Lior Strahilevitz, has a fascinating new article coming out in the Northwestern University Law Review: "Reputation Nation: Law in an Era of Ubiquitous Personal Information." [SSRN via Concurring Opinions]

* Outgoing American Red Cross president Mark W. Everson would have been our Lawyer of the Day (except the former IRS commissioner is not a lawyer). [Washington Post]

* "The High Price of Meat Loaf." [New York Times (second item)]

* Attention Loyola 2L: rising stars of legal academia are about to descend upon your law school. [PrawfsBlawg]

* For those of you old enough to remember Crocodile Dundee: "That's not a Blawg Review -- that's a Blawg Review." Here's Blawg Review #136, courtesy of Aussie Peter Black. [Freedom to Differ via Blawg Review; see also Blawg Review (video plug)]

As regular ATL readers will recall, Judge Samuel B. Kent (S.D. Texas) is currently on leave from the bench (although still collecting his $165,200 salary). The Fifth Circuit suspended him after allegations of what it described as sexual harassment.

But Judge Kent's troubles may not be over yet. From the Galveston County Daily News (via How Appealing):

A woman who has accused U.S. District Judge Samuel Kent of unwanted sexual touching will have her case reheard by a disciplinary panel of the 5th Judicial Circuit, her attorney, Rusty Hardin, said late Monday.

Late that afternoon, Hardin gave the panel summaries of interviews his team did of 20 people who have had contact with Kent. Hardin claims those interviews show that Kent has misbehaved toward women since shortly after he was named to the federal bench in Galveston in the early 1990s.

Hardin said he and his client are asking that the panel refer the matter to the Judicial Council of the United States with a recommendation that Kent be impeached.

Additional discussion, plus a reader poll, after the jump.

At least it's a better way to spend the firm's money than a theme song (mp3). From The Recorder:

Nixon Peabody has appointed a chief sustainability officer, hoping not only to reduce the firm's environmental impact, but to increase its impact on clients. Carolyn Kaplan, a counsel in the firm's energy and environmental practice, will spend at least a quarter of her time in the new position.

So what exactly will Ms. Kaplan do in this new gig? Send around annoying firm-wide emails telling people to recycle those reams of useless Westlaw print-outs? Tell associates to turn off the lights when they leave their offices (even if it will tip off the partners to their departures)?

Kaplan said the position has two aspects: looking internally at ways to reduce the firm's production of CO2, or its carbon footprint, and determining how attorneys can use the firm's experience to better understand clients dealing with environmental regulation and related issues. Both of those could make the firm greener in the financial sense, too, she said.

More after the jump.

We had been hearing rumors this morning of associate layoffs at Thacher Proffitt & Wood. The rumor mill was claiming that somewhere between 30 to 40 associates were given pink slips by TPW.

As is so often the case, the truth is somewhat different, but the rumors not completely unfounded. Thacher Proffitt has not laid off any associates just yet, and certainly not as many as 40. The firm has, however, notified a smaller number of associates -- namely, 24 non-first-year associates -- that their being laid off in January is "a near certainty." It is also encouraging first-year associates in its Structured Finance and Real Estate practice groups to look for other opportunities.

In response to inquiries from us, TPW issued this statement, through a spokesperson:

It is no secret that the credit crisis has deeply affected our Structured Finance and Real Estate practices, which are large practices in our Firm. Therefore, we have taken the painful step of notifying 24 associates in those practice areas that if we do not see a substantial improvement in the market, it is a near certainty that they will be laid off in January strictly for economic reasons.

These associates are good, hardworking lawyers that any law firm would be fortunate to have. Unfortunately, these associates are working in areas that are currently slow and that will not be active for some time to come. We are delaying a decision on economic layoffs for as long as we can; however, we believe it would be unfair to the associates potentially affected to give them no warning of this possibility. We are encouraging these associates to seek new opportunities and, should they leave the Firm, we will compensate them through the end of March.

In addition, we have offered first-year associates in our Structured Finance and Real Estate groups a four month severance package should they leave the Firm. They are under no obligation to take this offer, [which] is strictly voluntary; however, we feel it is in these associates' interest to explore other opportunities as well, as we are concerned that we will not be able to provide them with the best work experience at this formative stage of their careers.

We thank Thacher Proffitt for getting back to us so quickly. And we commend the firm for its candor about the possible layoffs, as well as its praise for the affected associates as lawyers.

If you have any associate layoff news that has not been previously reported, please contact us, by email (subject line: "Nationwide Layoff Watch"). Thanks.

We're confused. And we're guessing we're not alone.

We have provided extensive coverage of Cordero v. Epstein, in which model Maximilia Cordero alleges that high-profile financier Jeffrey Epstein took advantage of her when she was underage. To add to the suit's salaciousness, the New York Post previously claimed that Maximila Cordero was born a man -- to wit, Maximillian Cordero (b. 1983).

Now Cordero has turned around and sued the Post. She has filed an exhibit with the court casting doubt on the Post's claim that she was born a man -- but oddly enough, she's not raising the gender issue in her lawsuit. From DealBreaker:

Cordero and her lawyer (and alleged sometime boyfriend) William Unroch have filed a lawsuit against the Post, claiming it engaged in a smear campaign coordinated with Epstein’s flack Howard Rubenstein (who is also the publicist for the Post).

Radar has all the dirt, but here’s the dirtiest bit:

"Conspicuously absent from the accusations is the Post's revelation that Cordero was born a man. A source tells Radar that the initial filing of the suit by Unroch includes as an exhibit a birth certificate, which showed Cordero being born Maximilia Cordero, a woman. Reached by phone this weekend, Unroch (with Cordero commenting loudly in the background but declining to come to the phone), called the Post's behavior 'outrageous' but refused to address Cordero's birth gender or the authenticity of the birth certificate originally filed. 'She's a woman,' Unroch tells Radar. So, why not go after the Post's gender claims?

'It's a slam dunk case whether she was born a cat, a dog, or a space alien,' Unroch says."

You can see why we're confused. And our confusion has only grown since someone sent us a copy of the exhibit mentioned by Radar -- namely, a birth certificate showing that Maximillia Josephine Cordero, born on November 15, 1982, was born a "Female."

You can check out the birth certificate for yourself -- please note, we take no position on its authenticity -- after the jump.

Epstein's Accuser Accuses Page Six Of 'Raping' 'Her' All Over Again [DealBreaker]
Epstein's Accuser Sics Law Dog On Page Six [Radar / Fresh Intelligence]

The law firm of Seyfarth Shaw cordially invites its associates... to toast their own obsolescence. Check out the invite below, for "a cocktail reception to welcome the group of attorneys visiting from Manthan Services in Bangalore, India."

Our tipster wonders: "Why pay first-years $160,000 a year for legal research (or document review), when you can use a lawyer from India at a fraction of the cost?"

Earlier: Nationwide Worldwide Pay Raise Watch: Mumbai to $8,160?

To respond to yesterday's question: No, it's not all over. There's still some gas left in the associate bonus watch tank.

Last night brought an a bonus announcement from Hughes Hubbard and Reed. It's a somewhat complicated bonus system, based on a system of "tiers." A tipster identifies these highlights:

Tier 1 = 1950 hours
Tier 2 = 2100 hours
Not certain about tier 3 or 4
Class of 2004, 2005, and 2006 get $7500 for reaching 1950, plus half of special bonus
No pro-rated bonus for class of 2007

The associates we heard from are unhappy with the bone Old Mother Hubbard has thrown them:

"HHR has managed to make the 'special bonus' tied to billable hours. That kind of sucks. Glad to see that they are increasing them for next year though."

"It is a disappointing day for Hughes Hubbard associates, as bonuses are far below market. Still a great place to work, though."

You can check out the Hughes Hubbard bonus memo, which announces the firm's 2007 bonuses as well as its "enhance[d]" bonus system for 2008, after the jump.

Update: In response to the commenters, here's a note on our methodology. If a firm is on either the Am Law 100 or the Vault 100, we'll run their bonus announcement. HHR is #85 on the Vault 100.