Bad Ideas, Dubious Defenses, Kids, Murder, Trials

From the Department of Dubious Defenses

world's greatest dad mug Above the Law blog.jpgDefendants in deep doo-doo come up with all sorts of innovative defenses. Last week, we learned that fashion mogul Dov Charney, accused of sexually harassing a former employee, claimed in a deposition that when he appeared before the plaintiff wearing nothing but a strategically placed sock, he was merely testing a new line of underwear.
But this is even more dubious. At a murder trial underway in New York, a father accused of killing his seven-year-old stepdaughter has introduced into evidence a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug she once bought for him.
If the mug has writing on it, you must acquit.
‘World’s Greatest Dad’ Mug Seen In Nixzmary Trial [wcbstv.com]
Implausible defense department [Overlawyered]

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33 Responses to “From the Department of Dubious Defenses”

  1. Anonymous says:

    That doesn’t rhyme, Lat. You suck.
    How about doing a story on the sailor who molested the little girl on the airplane, and when the stewardess asked him why he was touching her (caressing her lips) he said he was just trying to wake her up?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Is he trying to introduce the mug as evidence that he actually IS the “world’s greatest dad”?
    Because I think that might be hearsay.

  3. Anonymous says:

    If she bought him a mug, acquit the thug.

  4. Anonymous says:

    There’s nothing funny about the Nixmary Brown case.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Good call, 1018… though the declarant is unavailable, because the defendant killed her (or so the prosecution contends).
    1015, “it” does indeed rhyme with “acquit” The flow is a little weak, but it *is* a rhyme.
    If the mug spells it out, there’s reasonable doubt…?
    Like Shakira’s hips, the mug don’t lie; Read my lips, state’s got the wrong guy…?

  6. President & Supreme Ruler George W. Bush says:

    10:29(2) – You’re wrong. I think those comments are pretty funny.
    And before you feel sorry for the girl, remember, the whole country benefits from her death. How, you ask? Well, there will be one less prostitute/drug addict out there that constantly produces mini-prostitutes/drug addicts. Thus, that really high percentage that comes out of our salaries for taxes will go toward something that matters. Like The War On Terror.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Where does this guy’s lawyer get the balls? I mean, seriously, in his opening statement he claimed that the murdered 7 y/old was responsible for her own death as she was such a “terror” and that the defendant’s rage over the half-eaten cup of yogurt that ultimately led to this little girl’s death was justified as there was so little food in the house.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Wait, I just read that it was actually just a *photo* of the mug introduced into evidence, not the mug itself.
    Best evidence rule, anyone???

  9. President & Supreme Ruler George W. Bush says:

    10:37 confirms the fact that this child would have been a drain on our economy.

  10. Anonymous says:

    The day my kid gives me a “world’s greatest dad mug,” is the day I realize I’m a shitty parent.

  11. President & Supreme Ruler George W. Bush says:

    Wow, no response from those crazy liberals. That must prove that my above points are right…

  12. @10:40 says:

    Only if your kid pre-fills it with FLAVIA.

  13. Flavia Machine says:

    Worlds Greatest Dad holds my urine…

  14. Anonymous says:

    Worlds Greatest Dad mug was donated to Two Girls One Cup

  15. Anonymous says:

    Worlds Greatest Dad mug was donated to Two Girls One Cup

  16. Anonymous says:

    I for one would like to see more “mini-prostitutes” — so George W. this is bad news!

  17. Two Girls One Cup turns me on says:

    I for one would like to see a T-shirt that reads “World’s Greatest Dad and Lover”…

  18. Heath Ledger says:

    World’s Greatest Dad killed me!

  19. Money's all that matters says:

    What is this year’s bonus for being worlds greatest dad? (regular plus special, please)

  20. A.Non.E.Mous says:

    Shouldn’t there also have been a claim against the mother for naming the poor kid Nixzmary!
    How do you even pronounce a name with an X followed by a Z followed by an M?

  21. Anonymous says:

    12:08, it’s a lot like the word “eczema”

  22. Anonymous says:

    The Z is silent. “Nix Mary” is unfortunate foreshadowing

  23. Mr. Mxyzptlk says:

    Nixzmary is a fine name

  24. A.Non.E.Mous says:

    1:09: Yeah, but eczema is not spelled exzema or exzmema.

  25. Anonymous says:

    A.Non.E.Mous, the linked article has a video clip where they pronounce the girl’s name.

  26. Anonymous says:

    May poor little Nixmary Browns parents rot in hell and may that hell begin yesterday! Maybe someone in the courtromo will take that mug and smash that SOB in the head with it.

  27. Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum! says:

    “World’s Greatest?”
    He thinks he’s *better* than me?!

  28. Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum! says:

    “World’s Greatest?”
    He thinks he’s *better* than me?!

  29. Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum! says:

    “World’s Greatest?”
    He thinks he’s *better* than me?!

  30. Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum! says:

    “World’s Greatest?”
    He thinks he’s *better* than me?!

  31. Anonymous says:

    lol, 11:26.

  32. What did he say? says:

    3:09
    3:16
    3:20
    Hilarious, but don’t wear it out…

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