horror.jpgOn Wednesday, we reported on a D.C. paralegal/legal assistant/assistant seeking advice at Slate.com. We were disappointed in the letter writer’s horror story, and solicited readers for better stories. Here’s the cream of the crop:

How about working 1.5 years with a Federal judge who hasn’t bothered to learn my name?

Short, sweet, and to the point.

A few years ago, I was an associate in a mid-sized firm in a mid-sized Southern city. One day, there was a notice in the break/lunch room about a State Board of Health inspection of the facilities. I was a little surprised, so I mentioned it to another associate. They laughed and said that it was because a partner’s secretary made a complaint to the Board of Health about the partner’s habit of picking his nose and wiping it on documents before handing them to the secretary.

Ewww. Gross.

I worked at a V2 firm. There are sooo many good ones. A sampling….
1) A female attorney nicknamed “Satan’s Spawn” who only made comments in purple pen and refused to use any other tape flag besides purple. She would also chew Grape Trident late nite to stay awake and sometimes wore binder clips in her hair. HOT! Of course she made partner.
2) Once, a Partner threw a chair in the general direction of two paralegals and his partner secretary. The chair broke. The Partner was still popular with them because he’d take them out drinking.
3) Not to be outdone, I also heard (right after it happened, from the source) of a Partner who had told his secretary to hold all calls. Well, an important C-level client called and said he must speak with Partner X. The secretary demurred, but the caller was insistent. So, cute, kind secretary knocked, popped her head in and said, “Partner X, I know you said to hold all calls, but Important C-level client really needs to…” Partner X whirled around from his desk to face her and flung his pen toward her head, just like a dart. Luckily, not having played darts for a while since he was a V2 partner and all, the pen whizzed right by her ear and LODGED IN THE WALL.

This commenter had a total of eight stories. We took the top three. See the rest here.

8: approx. number of associates I know of, self included, who have had some version of the “talking with a partner about case and he walks into the bathroom and keeps talking to me, sits down in the stall and continues talking about the case” scenario.

The level of horror of this story varies, depending on how long one has to stay in the bathroom and how stinky it is.
Thanks for your horrific contributions. We hope we don’t have nightmares tonight.
Earlier: ATL Seeks REAL Horror Stories


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