Yammer Wants To Bring Twitter To Your Firm

Just to be clear, I substantially agree with Futurelawyer on the abject horror of twittering. If God wanted people to have Twitter pages he wouldn’t have made sphincters; there are some things that should be kept inside until the appropriate time.
Given that, it is disturbing that Yammer took home the top prize at TechCrunch50. Yammer brings Twitter to internal corporate communications. TechCrunch claims that 10,000 people and 2,000 organizations signed up for the service Monday, the day it launched.
Firms already have associates on the short electronic leash known as the BlackBerry. Many firms internally IM. What possible good could come from bringing this Yammer thing into the workplace?
From Yammer’s website:

Yammer is a tool for making companies and organizations more productive through the exchange of short frequent answers to one simple question: “What are you working on?”

As employees answer that question, a feed is created in one central location enabling co-workers to discuss ideas, post news, ask questions, and share links and other information. Yammer also serves as a company directory in which every employee has a profile and as a knowledge base where past conversations can be easily accessed and referenced.

Excuse me while I go to the bathroom, get a coke from the fridge, take a drag, stare longingly out of the window, and go back to blogging after the jump.


There isn’t a single thing in Yammer’s product profile that is positive from the standpoint of Biglaw associates. “[A] knowledge base where past conversations can be easily accessed and referenced” is not helpful. I pity the fool that tries to access Yammer’s past conversation data to prove that a partner gave them misleading and conflicting information.
Do you really want to have this conversation 20 times a day?

Q: What are you working on?
A: The thing you told me to do six minutes ago.
Q: Why isn’t that done already?
A: Well, it’s only been six minutes.
Q: Are you finished now?
A: It’s only been …
Q: Seven! You’ve had seven minutes. When can I expect it?
A: … (bang, bang, bangbangbang) …
Q: Silly first year. We swap out all your bullets for blanks when you pick up my dry cleaning. I’ll see you in my office in five.

This is what Yammer promises to bring to law firms across the country. Don’t let it happen. Rise up and do the only thing that can stop the incursion of Yammer into your place of business: cut off your fingers.
Yammer Takes Top Prize At TechCrunch50 [TechCrunch]
Yammer [official website]

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