Law Schools

Great News! Cooley is Opening Another Law School Campus. Yay!

Thumbnail image for Cooley law school logo.jpgMy thoughts on the proliferation of American law schools have been well documented. But let’s take a moment to look at the other side of the argument.
Thomas M. Cooley Law School — which already pumps out 12,000 degrees a year to swarm like locusts across the great state of Michigan — is opening a new law school campus. In Ann Arbor. Because, clearly the University of Michigan law school just isn’t serving all of the people in Ann Arbor that need a law degree. Last night, Cooley students were told the great news:

Tomorrow, Cooley will announce to the public that the American Bar Association granted acquiescence to open a new campus in Ann Arbor, Michigan this September. We will do so in the facility currently occupied by Ave Maria School of Law, which is leaving Michigan at the end of this month to begin operations in Naples, Florida this fall. We will be leasing the facility for three years with an option to purchase it, but will have no other relationship with Ave Maria. In essence, Cooley’s Ann Arbor branch campus replaces Ave Maria School of Law.

Sure, I know replacing one largely irrelevant law school with another sounds bad, but you’re just not seeing the full upside. Thanks to schools like Cooley, we are one step closer to the glorious world where every single educated person also holds a law degree.
And that is a world worth living in! After the jump, join in my grand vision for the future.

For far too long, men have called themselves “educated” without even a rudimentary understanding of the legal system. It’s uncivilized. I don’t know about you, but when I meet a world renown scientist or historian who doesn’t know the difference between case law and statutory law, a little part of me dies inside.
With schools like Cooley offering law degrees that can be redeemed at your local McDonald’s, soon everybody will be able to have a basically competent understanding of the word “consideration.”
That will lead to a better world. Just think about it. Imagine the level of intellectual debate that can happen when the cable guy can explain why you have no cable by referencing Justice Holmes. Imagine how much more reasonable, tame, and informative television commercials will be when everybody has a legal understanding of false advertising. We’ll be in a new world where stupid philosophers and other moralists stop spouting ideas that have no grounding in the case law governing the instant fact pattern.
Oh happy day.
Will all the lawyers that graduate from Cooley Ann Arbor be able to get jobs as practicing attorneys? Of course not. But that’s not even the point. The point is that Cooley is charging a relatively small fee for people who want to learn about the law and then go back to their careers. It’s about arming the next generation of car salesman with the legal tools they’ll need to succeed in today’s complex world.
Everybody should have a law degree. Everybody. I’m so sick of telling my internet porn provider that even if goat play spam was technically contemplated in the terms of the agreement, there was no meeting of the minds; only to have him not know what I’m talking about. Thomas M. Cooley Law School is trying to stop that from happening.
Earlier: More Law Schools + More Lawyers + Recession = FUBAR

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