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ATL Douche Madness: Duke is the Douchiest Law School

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Over the long holiday weekend, Duke and Harvard duked it out in the ATL Douchiest Law School contest. Though many commenters argued that Duke Law School’s reputation was being unfairly influenced by that of its douchey undergrads, those Duke Law defenders were not persuasive enough to sway voters. Duke triumphed with 55% of the vote.

Duke is the Douchiest Law School!


Who was the star player in this match-up? A Duke Law School grad named Tucker Max. More on him, and a round-up of the choice comments explaining Duke’s douche dominance, after the jump.


Here’s a recap of Duke’s path to victory:

How did Duke dominate Harvard in the douche contest? Here are some explanations from ATL commenters, as well as some comments from Duke defenders:

duke should take this crown. while 100% of duke law students r douches for going down to that sh*thole durham based solely on the mistaken belief that duke is an impressive law school, only 75% of harvard law students r douches, comprised of those people who got in through the crapshoot that is the application process and suddenly think they r smart. while harvard has like 600 students, so technically more douches, duke is thoroughly douche. in my eyes, that is more important.

It’s not just the Duke undergrads who are douches… remember Tucker Max went to Duke LAW, and it is tough to get much douchier than that.
This does make for a conundrum… does the douchyness of one of the douchiest douches on the planet outweigh the collective douchyness of an entire other school… MAN this one is tough.

Duke is obviously the douchiest of the two. Harvard only made it this far based on the pathetic jealousy of others who have no idea what the school is even like.

Does no one understand that Duke law is way way way way different than Duke undergrad!?!?!? WTF . . . I went to Duke undergrad and hated just about every person there; however, Duke law students are a pretty cool and laid-back bunch. ATL readers are pretty dumb if they don’t get the difference.

101 – Did you ever think that maybe Duke Law has things like, I don’t know, interesting faculty members, a great program, a dedication to cooperative student learning, a wide variety of pro bono and public interest opportunities, a fantastic library, a devotion to the Innocence Project that recently helped someone wrongly convicted of rape to be released after 14 years, etc., etc.?
Don’t get me wrong, we have our douches, but there are plenty of things to like about Duke Law without looking at the rankings.
And as for everyone being from within 75 miles of Newark you’re still thinking Duke undergrad – the most people from one state in this year’s 1L class are from California.

As a Duke Law grad, I have to say that this is like being guilty of assault but being convicted of murder. This is assuming we win, and all indicators suggest we will. Of course there are douches at Duke Law School – there are at all law schools. But we are really not even above average in our douchetude.
I admit that we do have a problem stemming from the fact that our best-known alumni are often notorious for all the wrong reasons. But are we, on average, really more douchetastic than a law school three times as big that is almost synonymous with both high achievement and entitlement and pomposity?
I leave off here because, frankly, I’m not sure anymore whether it is better to be the douchiest or merely the runner-up. Perhaps we should simply be content to be number one in something.

I think Duke was done in by Tucker Max. There is a story on him on the front page of the Arts section in Friday or Saturday’s NY Times. He apparently has a movie coming out. It mentions he went to Duke Law School, and man does he sound like a douche.

We agree with those who say Tucker Max was a clutch player in securing the crown for Duke Law School. Max is a University of Chicago and Duke Law School grad who likes to blog about his disturbing sexual exploits. From his website:

My name is Tucker Max, and I am an a**hole.
I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead.
But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way. I share my adventures with the world.

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Yeah, he’s a douche.
Unfortunately for Duke law grads, Max has a movie coming out and got much exposure this weekend during the Douche finals. From the New York Times:

When you have just watched a film comedy whose protagonist lusts after married women, little people and the disabled, who calls women every synonym for prostitute he knows and agonizes on screen through the effects of a laxative-laden beer, what do you ask the man whose life it was based on?
The nearly 600 fans of Tucker Max, the 33-year-old author and blogger, who gathered on Thursday night at the AMC Empire in Times Square for a sneak preview of “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell,” adapted from Mr. Max’s defiantly boorish book of the same title, had no shortage of queries.
Like: Were all the stories in the book and the movie true? How many women had Mr. Max slept with? Were any famous?
A young woman, one of numerous college-age attendees, asked if Mr. Max, a muscular man with a lantern jaw and close-cropped blond hair, would get her a beer. To laughter, he confidently responded, “I’ve got to look at you first.”

Congratulations, Duke. At least you’re number one. And you must admit that it felt kind of good to make it to the Final Four in a Madness competition for a change.
Rude, Crude and Coming to a Theater Near You [New York Times]

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