On Monday, we reviewed the new website of Ballard Spahr. The firm rolled out a new name: it’s just Ballard Spahr LLP now, and not Ballard, Spahr, Andrews & Ingersoll LLP. While it shaved some names from its moniker, it upped its photo count: attorneys had to take two photos for their bios, a head shot and a full-body shot.
We created a poll and asked whether it’s acceptable for your firm to ask you to take a body shot for the website. Almost 70% of you said no.
But Ballard’s not the only firm making its attorney do body shots. Commenters on the Ballard thread pointed us to another firm that requires both body shots and a bit of acting.
They do it bigger and better in Texas. A San Antonio-based law firm, Cox Smith, makes its attorneys take three photos for their firm bio pages.
A selection of the Cox “triple threat” photos — along with reader-provided captions, some of them irreverent, so consider yourselves warned — after the jump.
ATL readers, thanks for bringing this to our attention, and doing the captioning work. Here are a few bios and photos from the Cox Smith’s People pages, along with captions provided by ATL readers. Please note that these captions are all provided in jest; they should not be construed as containing any factual allegations about the individuals depicted.
Check out this shareholder. Suggested captioning:
“hi” — “i can explain” — “calm down”
Check out this associate:
“Really? Those are the facts?” — “What are we going to do?” — “I might be reaching here, but I think you’re hosed.”
Photos and captions:
“I’m a shareholder” — “That means I crack the whip on juniors” — “Any questions?”
This is our favorite. Suggested captioning:
“. . .” – - “. . . ” — “What? No, I wasn’t sleeping! Do go on.”
Photos and captions:
“What, bitch? — “Ima cast a spell on your ass” — “Ha, just foolin’”
Since this associate’s wedding ring is on prominent display, these captions are probably far off the mark:
“Ok, first I look deep into her soul” — “Then I bust out a rap slash love sonnet, if you will” — “Often, I find myself following up with Styx’s ‘Mr. Roboto’”
Our only female selection:
“I’ve really got to toot.” — “Ohh… op… there it gooes!” –”I am innocent.”
Shareholder and captions:
“You’ve got one chance to get this goddamned waste of time right.” — “CHEESE!” –”Did you take the f***ing picture?”
There are many more, but we’ll end with this one:
“Secretaries were so easy back in the good old days.” — “Now they just file harassment suits against me.” — “I’d bend ‘em over my desk like this, give ‘em the ol’ Schenker schmeckel.”
Gavel bang: ATL readers. So if you were offended by any of these captions, you have only yourselves to blame. Thank you.
Earlier: Ballard Spahr Does Body Shots