Archive for September 2009

ATL Caption Contest Winner: American Pie

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Last week, we offered you this photo of Vice President Joe Biden at Syracuse University School of Law and asked you to give us your funniest caption suggestions. We then asked you to vote among ten finalists, noting that one of the finalists was not our pick. Guess which finalist won.
Thumbnail image for Joe Biden Joseph Biden blueberry pie.jpg

“Oh, no, I’m sorry … the government share of the pie is there in the pan … this slice is the part you keep.”

You guys just love rooting for the underdog, don’t you?
It was a close race, with the winner taking only 18.3% of the nearly 2500 votes cast. Our second place winner captured 17.8% of the votes:

“I hope you like it – the chef was one of our best students.”

A good dig at Syracuse is bested only by a good dig at Washington’s socialist agenda. Thanks for all your captions and for voting!

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Pls Hndle Thx: Party Like It’s 5770

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Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

pls hndle copy 2.jpgDear ATL,
What are your thoughts on whether I should take off for the Friday of Rosh Hashanah and/or the Monday of Yom Kippur? I probably wouldn’t go to synagogue (yes, I’m Jewish), but I’d like to just take the day off to, ya know, just observe the holiday in my own way. I don’t want to get on anybody’s bad side at my white shoe firm by taking days off, especially since this place has been known to conduct stealth layoffs.
Do They Know It’s Christmastime At All?

Dear Do They Know It’s Christmastime At All,
When it comes to holidays (Jewish, Christian, Baha’i, Wiccan, whatever) you need to do what you feel is meaningful, law firm be damned. Your firm may penalize you for not showing up to work, but since there’s no hell in Judaism, you can rest easy knowing that God won’t.
The corporate slogan of Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, is “A sweet New Year.” For some that may mean going to temple for two days and being around family. I know for a fact that God does not want to me to go to temple and run into better looking, more successful people or the guy from my middle school class who invented topical Viagra and now has a license to print money. God wants me to start off the new year right by sleeping in and eating cheese fries. Instead of weeping and fasting on Yom Kippur, the Jewish answer to Lent, God may want you to punish yourself by reading Dan Brown’s new book or going to a Nickelback concert. There’s just no right way to celebrate.
If you choose not to take off, working through the holidays can still be a wonderful and moving tribute to your heritage. As you work through the night drafting disclosure schedules, you will experience firsthand the anguish of your ancestors who were slaves in Egypt building pyramids for the evil tyrant Ramses II.
May the New Year bring jobs for everyone and make us all repulsively rich.
Your friend,
Marin
After the jump, Death Match: Christmas v. Hannukah.

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Law Student of the Day: He Says He’s Not Dating Rihanna, But Everybody Thinks He Is

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Janero Marchand Rihanna not dating.jpgFrom what we can tell, Janero Marchand was just your normal everyday law student. Well, a normal everyday law student who allegedly dated this woman.
Hey, the man likes fine clothes and fine women; there’s nothing wrong with that. But the gossip blog Bossip blew up his world this morning, when it made Marchand front page news:

According to our source, Rihanna has been spotted around town with a new man accompanying her by the name of Janero Marchand. 22 year old Janero is the former boyfriend of video chick Dollicia Bryan and is a current NYU Law Student. Janero, who wishes to stay out of the limelight, has been the missing link to Rihanna’s life; offering her love and support during her split with Chris Brown.

As the cops in a South Park episode might say, “nice … nice.”
There’s only one problem with the story, it’s not true.
Pesky, pesky details after the jump.

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Lawsuit of the Day: Getting Off on Knock-off Virtual Sex Toys

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second-life-sex.jpgSecond Life is a virtual world where people can create avatars and live “second lives” online. Started in 2003, it claims to be the largest such virtual community. The appeal seems to be that it’s just like real life — people “have jobs, purchase land, commit crimes, build homes and careers, make friends, fall in love, have sex, visit museums, and make and spend money” — except in Second Life, your avatar can also do crazy things, like fly, change appearances, and have really nasty sex.
We’re intimately familiar with neither Second Life nor sex toys, but our understanding is that the two go hand in hand. Eros LLC, a virtual sex toy maker, has apparently made a pretty penny selling sex goods in Second Life. But now other Second Life vendors are ripping off its designs and selling knock-offs. Eros’s CEO Kevin Alderman — who goes by Stroker Serpentine in Second Life and built the first in-world sex bed, a digital bed with built-in sex position animations — is filing a class-action suit against Second Life’s creators for enabling this virtual counterfeiting.
Alderman, who has been called “the ‘Hugh Heffner’ of the digital millennium,” wants Second Life to shut down its virtual version of Canal Street (counterfeit central in New York). From MediaPost:

Entrepreneur Kevin Alderman, who sells virtual erotic goods in Second Life, said in court papers that [Second Life creator/owner] Linden Lab allows other virtual marketers to offer knock-offs of his “SexGen” beds and other products.
“Eros’s virtual erotic SexGen products sold for use in Second Life have been counterfeited, cloned, and ripped off countless times by a multitude of Second Life residents,” the lawsuit alleges. “The manner in which this has occurred is akin to the knockoff handbags and purses sold near Canal Street in New York City. Some of the bags are stolen, but actual brand-name handbags sold at deep discounts, while many others are knockoffs that merely use the brand-name makers’ designs and trademarks.”

Circuit judge Richard Posner has weighed in on patent infringement of sex toys before, ruling that a company couldn’t patent the glass dildo. But what about virtual sex toy counterfeiting? We’re entering virgin territory here.

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Not All BC Law Professors Believe in Discrimination Based on Sexual Orientation

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BC Law logo.JPGWe’ve been waiting for this. We’ve been covering Boston College Law Professor Scott Fitzgibbon and his commercial against gay-marriage. That commercial is now being shown on national television (I caught it being discussed on Dylan Ratigan’s show this morning). I can’t imagine how proud the BC Law community is to have their law school prominently featured in an ad that — as one legal blogger put it: “relies on inflammatory and unfounded rhetoric.”
Today, a group of BC Law professors put out a statement that tries to soothe the feelings of gays and lesbians that may feel the university as a whole doesn’t think they should be given equal treatment.
Read it after the jump.

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Job of the Week: Flying South for The Winter

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Job of the Week Lateral Link ATL logo.gifBirds are smart enough to fly south when things get rough up north. Can attorneys figure out how to do it too? As always, the Job of the Week is
brought to you by our friends over at Lateral Link. As we mentioned with yesterday’s career survey lateral hiring is picking up. Lateral Link has added over 25 new jobs in the last week and has placed attorneys in over a dozen law firm and in-house positions so far this month. If you are looking for a new position, consider registering for Lateral Link.
Position: Litigation Associate
Location: Miami, FL
Description: The Miami office of a prominent national firm is seeking a mid-level litigation associate. Ideal candidate would be a 2005 graduate, but a 2004-2006 graduate will be considered. Florida bar is preferred.
For more information about this position, please contact Lateral Link’s Director for the Southeast, Jordan Abshire. Jordan is a graduate of Harvard Law School and a former Troutman Sanders attorney. Current Lateral Link members can also view Position #5296
on Lateral Link. Membership in Lateral Link is free and you can apply at www.laterallink.com.

UVA 3Ls Threaten to Eat Their Young

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Lile Moot Court UVA law competition.jpgI’ll admit, I did not participate in any kind of fake court moot court competitions during law school. It just wasn’t my thing. But for other students, moot court can be a really exciting way to pass the time while you are waiting for law school to stop charging you money. I totally respect that.
Unless people take it too seriously. When moot court turns into gunner heaven, it’s hard not to laugh at all the Lil’ Boies running around acting like the competition is more important than 1L torts.
But at UVA Law School, it looks like the people running the school’s William Minor Lile Moot Court Competition have taken things to an entirely new level of pettiness. A UVA 2L explains it this way:

[T]he Lile Moot Court competition is our intramural moot court that 240 2Ls are competing in. It is run by appx. 10 incredibly rude and power-hungry 3Ls … and they have been inconsiderate to say the least. It’s the talk of the campus, or at least of the 2Ls.

You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens when 3Ls don’t have secure firm jobs waiting for them upon graduation?
After the jump, the members of the UVA moot court board completely lose their ever lovin’ minds.

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Harvard Law School to the Rescue

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[Speaking in the voice of the late, great Don LaFontaine] In a world where 2Ls are terrified. In a time when Biglaw openly flouts NALP rules. There was one man who would not take it anymore.
[Cue sweeping and inspiring theme song]
Mark Weber Harvard Law School.jpgThat man was Harvard Law School’s Assistant Dean for Career Services, Mark Weber.
Without the knowledge of the general public, the law firm Sullivan & Cromwell told 2Ls interviewing with the firm that it would disregard the 45 day waiting period for holding open offers. Instead, the firm would expect a decision in just two weeks. Am Law Daily reports:

In late July, S&C called several of the nation’s top law schools and informed career services personnel at those schools that the firm would not be following the 45-day guideline, according to six sources with direct knowledge of the situation. All six spoke only on the condition that they not be identified publicly.
Instead, S&C told the career services personnel, the firm would require prospects to respond yes or no in two weeks.

But S&C wasn’t prepared for Mark Weber.
Click below to continue listening to this trailer.

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Morning Docket: 09.18.09

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Amtrak guns.jpg* Happy Rosh Hashanah. [ABC]
* Mayer Brown and Reed Smith could be trying to kill the billable hour too. [Legal Week]
* When it comes to executing prisoners, should we allow mulligans? [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
* A Maryland police officer who t-boned a car and killed the driver could not be charged with vehicular manslaughter thanks to the state’s tough mens rea requirement. So instead, a civil jury has entered a $4 million verdict against him. [Washington Post]
* However, two Florida school administrators who violated a consent decree by leading prayer in a public school could face jail time if convicted. [CNN]
* The Senate has passed a bill to make Amtrak a more appealing travel option: Guns on trains! Now you’ll have a toy to play with during the inevitable train break down. Thanks, Second Amendment! [New York Times]

New York State Bar Association Listserv Madness

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NYSBA New York State Bar Association.jpgA couple of days ago, an attorney sent in an email to the New York State Bar Association listserv. Like many people, the attorney was looking for a job. He decided to ask the listserv for some helpful tips:

Subject: [nysba-nonres] (somewhat) new attorney still seeking first FT position
From: [Redacted]
To: nysba-nonres@lists.nysba.org
Its a difficult time for new lawyers graduating with gigantic student loan debts and a bad economy. I’ve been searching for two years sending out hundreds of resumes and applying for an online jobs every chance I get but it now seems hopeless.
I’m a Fordham Law School graduate and have an internship working at a small bankruptcy/divorce/immigration firm and also have been doing debt collection in state court and attending 341 hearings as a per diem attorney. I also have an interest in criminal law and litigation and therefore took hands on courses in law school: civil litigation drafting, trial advocacy, fundamental lawyering skills, criminal procedure.
I want a full time position but contract work would be helpful also.
If anyone has any suggestion as to where to apply or what to do please advise.

Everybody tells you to network to find a job in this economy. But what if you don’t know anybody? One can understand how the state bar association listserv could seem like a viable option to a recent Fordgam graduate.
Were the employed attorneys helpful to the young Fordham ram? What do you think?

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Non-Sequiturs: 09.17.09

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Martin Luther OMM OMelveny.jpg* Yesterday’s O’Melveny news is still rippling through the blogosphere. Will the firm now be known as the Martin Luther of Biglaw? [Law and More]
* Remember, if you are in Washington, D.C. next Wednesday September 23rd, head down to Georgetown to meet David Lat and talk about new media and the law. [Georgetown Federalist Society Blog]
* One prominent legal blogger — and BC Law grad — is disappointed with Professor Fitzgibbon. Not because the Professor expressed his viewpoint, but because of his blatant distortion of the truth. [Legal Blog Watch]
* Can 1Ls going to law school in Maryland let us know about the defense of home case law in the state? Thanks. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]
* Legal Rebel Tour, the week one recap. [ABA Journal]

Clerkship Application Season: D-Day

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law clerk judicial clerkship Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgIt’s the afternoon of Thursday, September 17. Do you know where your clerkship is?
Today is the first day, pursuant to the Law Clerk Hiring Plan for 2009 — which some judges follow, and some don’t — when interviews may be held and offers made. The plan even specifies a time of day for interviews and offers to begin — “8.00 a.m. (EDT)” — perhaps because, in years past, some judges brought applicants in for midnight meetings.
Relive the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, perhaps by (anonymously) disclosing your credentials and the clerkship(s) you got (or didn’t get), in the comments to this open thread.
Law Clerk Addict
Clerkship Notification Blog: 2010-11 Clerkship Season
THE LAW CLERK HIRING PLAN FOR 2009 [Federal Judges Law Clerk Hiring Plan]
About OSCAR [Online System for Clerkship Application & Review]
Earlier: Clerkship Application Season: Clear The Phones
Clerkship Application Season: Open Thread