Archive for October 2009

Loving v Virginia pictures.jpgKeith Bardwell — justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana — is receiving a lot of criticism today. I don’t know why. All he did was deny marriage license to people he didn’t think should be married. Sure, he has a traditional view of marriage that is not shared by everybody, but what is the problem with that? Bardwell explains his case to the Associated Press:

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”
Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said.
Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.
“There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage,” Bardwell said. “I think those children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.”

See, Bardwell isn’t a bigot. Oh no, he’s got “piles and piles” of friends! He’s just defending a traditional view of marriage that most people believed in centuries ago. I’m sure other defenders of outmoded conceptions of marriage will rush to Mr. Bardwell’s defense.
Let’s check out the reaction after the jump.

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Morning Docket: 10.16.09

Falcon Heene Balloon Boy hoax.jpg* Balloon Boy was never airborne. [CNN]
* Litigation didn’t turn out to be countercyclical. [American Lawyer]
* New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate has been found not guilty of felony assault. But he was convicted on the misdemeanor reckless assault. [Daily News]
* Anti-vaccinators are gaining steam. This is an excellent opportunity for those that believe in science to gain a survival advantage over those that don’t. Mmm … natural selection. [New York Times]
* Innocent until proven guilty is a phrase Penn State is about to get very familiar with. [WSJ Law Blog]

winston strawn.gifIn our last post about Winston & Strawn, we covered an “all associates” meeting at which the firm admitted conducting layoffs, but refused to divulge information about their scope. The firm said something along these lines: “Out of respect for the individuals involved, we won’t publicly disclose either future layoffs or past layoff numbers.”
Several commenters questioned that rationale. See, e.g., here:

WTF does that mean?! Are they dead [so] that W&S doesn’t want to speak (ill) of them?

I think I’ll try injecting that into my daily life. “Out of respect for the individuals involved, I won’t publicly disclose either future sexual affairs or past mistress numbers.” I like that… think it’ll work?

Commenters also requested estimates of the size of Winston’s layoffs.
We don’t have hard data ourselves. But we estimate — conservatively, we think — that Winston & Strawn has laid off at least 15 percent of its lawyers in 2009 to date.
So, how did we reach this number?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Nationwide Layoff Watch: Haphazard (Mildly Educated) Guesses at the Winston & Strawn Cuts”

Non-Sequiturs: 10.15.09
(Including VA Bar results in the comments.)

Falcon Heene balloon boy.jpg* There’s one thing that every lawyer thought when they first heard about Balloon Boy. [Law and More]
* Rush Limbaugh was dumped by the group of people looking to purchase the St. Louis Rams. Would the NFL have had a problem with antitrust laws if Dave Checketts hadn’t cashiered him? [Blackbook Legal]
* It appears that the Virginia Board of Bar Examiners put up the results of the bar exam, hosted on a new site, but then yanked the link shortly thereafter. Did somebody call them to inquire? [Virginia Board of Bar Examiners]
UPDATE: Check this list, captured by a reader before the results were removed, to see if you passed.
* Leave Meghan McCain alone. Just leave her alone! [Politico]
* Don’t forget to tell us what — if any — afflictions you’ve suffered during your time in Biglaw. So far the results have been very interesting, and totally depressing. [Above the Law]
* David Lat was on the radio today, talking about the importance of transparency. Click on the link to access the broadcast. [Legal Rebels]

Craigslist small.jpgLike most people, I’m having trouble focusing on my duties given the perils of Balloon Boy, Falcon Heene. According to my television, the balloon is down, there is no boy in it, and as of now we don’t know where the boy is. And the parents were on Wife Swap. Here’s a write-up of the episode the Heene family was featured on. Crazy story.
Of course, multitasking is an important life skill. It’s a skill that one law student hasn’t seemed to master, at least when attractive women are around. Here’s the Craigslist ode from a law student somewhere in the D.C. area to an apparently stunning vixen:

Morally Bankrupt – m4w
I saw you in my bankruptcy class. I was so distracted by you that I could barely pay attention to the riveting lecture about the history of bankruptcy law. I imagine that you are a creditor and I am a bankrupt and I will have to work off my debt for you or risk debtor’s prison. You can have whatever you want; no state law exemptions. I want you to declare bankruptcy all over me.
I am sick of ending my nights pro se. I promise if you entertain my claim that you will have a huge judgment entered in your favor over and over again. We can even violate the Model Rule of Professional Responsibility and engage in a 108(j).
My interests include hilarious law-based puns; and mocking others. If you think we are a match, let’s grab a drink after class. I know it’s a weeknight but my parents let me stay out as late as I want to as long as I call by 11pm to check in with them.
P.S. I am neither the ginger nor the weird guy next to you.

Beautiful bankruptcy babe — you know who you are — it looks like you have a not-so-secret admirer. Let us know if it works out.
Morally Bankrupt [Craigslist]

Misleading Statistics.jpgLast Friday, we reported on stealth layoffs at Nixon Peabody. We’ve previously discussed the difficulty of reporting stealth layoffs. If a firm lays people off slowly, over a long period of time, and refuses to admit it, sometimes the firm can keep the information from becoming public. In the Nixon Peabody case, the firm has still not confirmed the layoff news (unlike Foley & Lardner, which got around to confirming the layoffs we reported on last Friday just yesterday). But Nixon also hasn’t called us asking us to correct anything, which firms often do when they believe we’ve erred. The tipsters who have been laid off from Nixon continue to maintain that they were laid off from Nixon.
In any event, apparently some people think that reporting on people losing their jobs is more hype than substance. Tipsters sent in this post from 3 Geeks and a Law Blog:

Back in February, when the big round of layoffs were taking place, I took it upon myself to take a snapshot of most of the AmLaw 100 rosters via their websites. Nixon Peabody, of course, was one of these. So, I thought I’d dust off that list and compare it to today’s roster of employees. What I found was pretty interesting, but didn’t seem to be as dire as I’ve been reading in ATL or Law Shucks.

A firm’s website is only one part of the story, but let’s check out that part of the story, after the jump.

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john roberts.jpgGQ has released its list of the 50 most powerful people in Washington, D.C.
The list is topped by White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel.
But Chief Justice John Roberts makes the top ten. CJ Roberts ranks #10, just behind Dick Cheney. Since Dick Cheney doesn’t have a job, I’m going to go out on a limb and say Chief Justice Roberts should be at least 9th.
There are a number of lawyers or former lawyers that are included in the top 50. But one of our favorites clocks in at #45.
See who after the jump.

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Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

pls hndle copy 2.jpgATL,
After busting my ass this summer, I received an offer from my firm which was later rescinded because my firm rescinded everyone’s offer. How should I note this on my resume, if it all?
Resume Roadkill

Dear Resume Roadkill,
Picture it: Sicily Philadelphia, 2003. Penn Law OCI. A sprightly blonde law student walks into one of the interview rooms and hands an O’Melveny& Myers attorney her resume. Under “Interests,” her resume lists “historical disasters.” The interviewer asks her what she means by that.
“You know, things like the Titanic, the Hindenburg, the Challenger,” the student explains. “I LOVE that stuff.”
“Oh, so did you ‘love’ 9/11?” the interviewer snaps.
In the distance, a seal is clubbed.
END SCENE
That law student, dear readers, was me.
As the above example demonstrates, jobs are won or lost in the details of a resume. Writing “Offer Retracted” sounds harsh, and implies that they took the offer back because they discovered something horrifying about you, like you don’t wash your hands after using the bathroom or are in a book club. You need to phrase it in a way that succinctly conveys the facts of the situation while blaming the firm and completely exonerating yourself. Since many ATL readers are in similar resume predicaments, I’ve compiled a list of suggested positive resume spins for the bad news:
Offer Received Then Later Revoked Through No Fault of Own
Invalid Offer Received
Don’t Ask
Srsly Don’t Ask
Offer Retracted, Outrageously
Offer Rescission Statement from Firm Attached as Annex A
Offer Redeemable in Narnia
Flaked
Offer Exchanged for Store Credit
Why Do You Think You Have My Resume
Long Story
Do Not Get Me Started
Offer*
Offer Refunded for 2 Cent Deposit in CA, MA, NY & PA
I hope this helps.
Your friend,
Marin
*Valid while supplies last
Worst. Advice. EVER. after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Pls Hndle Thx: An Offer You Cannot Refuse”

Weil summer boot.jpgLast month, we asked you to share your stories of summer associate craziness. Based on the responses we received, I feel very sorry for the 2009 summer associates. Obviously the days of summers peeing off the side of a Duck Boat are long gone.
This story we received from summers at Weil Gotshal in New York illustrates the difference between summer 2009 and actual fun:

Did you hear about the Weil partner who got a summer so wasted from shots the summer barfed on himself in the bathroom at a firm event?

Were this year’s summers really so dull that partners had to be the ones to encourage after-work debauchery? I mean seriously, if you can make it to the bathroom, you probably could have had at least one more shot.
The Weil summer rallies after the boot, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Does a Perfect ‘Boot & Rally’ Net You An Offer at Weil?”

OMelveny Myers OMM logo.jpgLast month, we wrote about a five-year strategic plan created by O’Melveny & Myers. In our initial post, we focused on O’Melveny’s expectations for partners and associates in the future. We skipped over this piece of the plan, focused on summer associates. From a section of the plan entitled “Talent Development”:

Identify future junior associates who will advance the vision of the firm by…creating an intensive summer program experience — “Experience O’Melveny” — that prepares incoming associates for the successful practice of law.

We particularly like that the summer associate program will be “Experience O’Melveny” going forward. It made us think of the Imax Experience — like a real movie but better — or a roller coaster at Six Flags — sure to thrill and cause nausea.
We imagine what “Experience O’Melveny” will look like, after the jump.

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg cancer surgery.jpgThe Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Health Watch continues. This just in, from the AP:

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who had cancer surgery earlier this year, was briefly hospitalized overnight after having a bad reaction to some medicine.

A statement from the court says Ginsburg was taken to the Washington Hospital Center Wednesday night and released Thursday morning.

Doctors say Ginsburg had an adverse reaction to a sleeping aid combined with cold medicine. She took the medicine in preparation for an overnight flight to London, but was taken off the airplane after she experienced extreme drowsiness causing her to fall from her seat.

At least she didn’t fall asleep on the bench this time. We’d wish RBG a speedy recovery, but it seems that she has already recovered.
Ginsburg Briefly Hospitalized, Released Thurs. [Associated Press]
Earlier: Breaking: Justice Ginsburg Hospitalized
Update: Justice Ginsburg Is Back on the Job

How Much Is a Law School Worth?

Southern New England School of Law logo.jpgSouthern New England School of Law (which is not accredited by the American Bar Association) is trying to sell itself to the University of Massachusetts. The Boston Globe reports:

UMass President Jack Wilson received a letter last week from trustees chairwoman at the 235-student school offering to enter into discussions that could lead to the donation of its assets to UMass Dartmouth, higher education officials said today. Under the terms of the possible donation, UMass would receive cash assets and the campus that now houses the 235-student law school. The offer is valued at approximately $22.6 million.

This is situation is different from the issues we’ve explored regarding new law schools in Tennessee and Texas. First of all, Southern New England is not a new law school. It is already there, providing unaccredited degrees to needy New Englanders.
Also, the state of Massachusetts has zero public law schools. Not a single one. If we are going to add law schools despite the general oversupply of attorneys, it seems like getting a public law school in a state that doesn’t yet have one is a palatable idea.
Still, I hate the plan. Let me explain after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “How Much Is a Law School Worth?”

Morning Docket: 10.15.09

Maria Shriver Maria Owings Shriver First Lady of California.jpg* The Justice Department is implementing reforms to avoid another Ted Stevens-style snafu. [Washington Post]
* Foley & Lardner officially confirms the 39 lawyer layoffs that we previously reported. [Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel via ABA Journal]
* Chief Judge Vaughn Walker (N.D. Cal.) denies a motion to dismiss the gay marriage case brought by David Boies and Ted Olson. [Christian Science Monitor]
* Judicial hottie Ricardo Urbina (D.D.C.) has blocked public access to certain pretrial proceedings in the case of five Blackwater security guards charged with manslaughter. [Washington Post]
* More death sentences handed down for July’s ethnic riots in western China. [New York Times]
* More about what’s going on down in Puerto Rico — it’s not just the law school that’s in a state of unrest. [True/Slant]
* Maria Shriver, aka Mrs. Arnold Schwarzenegger, has apologized for using a cell phone while driving (a violation of California law). [CNN]
* Bruce Wasserstein, Harvard Law School graduate and former owner of the American Lawyer and the National Law Journal, RIP. [Am Law Daily]

woman with migraine headache.jpgIf you have a job these days, especially a job at a high-paying law firm, you should be grateful, right? Right.
But that doesn’t mean work is all sunshine and lollipops. Many attorneys continue to experience a high amount of stress, which often manifests itself in the form of illness. A friend who works at a law firm sent us this suggestion:

I’m swamped, but I had to run out of the office for a doctor’s appointment. I was diagnosed with an ulcer last year, and apparently it still hasn’t healed.

Maybe you should do an ATL piece on ostensibly stress-related illnesses suffered by attorneys. What are some of the most “popular” maladies suffered by attorneys at an inappropriately young age?

Good question. Take our survey, and a stroll through the various maladies that have afflicted Elie Mystal, after the jump.

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.14.09

wurtzel book cover.gif* Here’s all you need to know about this link: Elizabeth Wurtzel, curtains, no rug, “vaginal hegemony.” [Jezebel]
* Never take sex photos you don’t want everybody to see after you break up with the guy. [True/Slant]
* On-campus interviewers are very interested in your answers to “behavioral questions.” I guess they are trying to figure out if you are a drone or a droid. [Young Lawyers Blog]
* Can law firms use the grapevine to their advantage? [Law and More]
* It appears that Jobless Lawyer (we linked there yesterday) is a former associate at Latham & Watkins. Maybe he’ll be an inspiration to all of the former Latham associates? [Legal Blog Watch]
* Alfred Nobel’s grudge against lawyers. [Legally Drawn]
* Lat is doing a call-in program tomorrow at 2 p.m., moderated by Edward Adams of the ABA Journal, entitled “Why Openness & Transparency at Law Firms Matters.” [Legal Rebels / ABA Journal]

Notes from the Breadline Roxana St Thomas.jpgEd. note: Welcome to the latest installment of Notes from the Breadline, a column by a laid-off lawyer in New York. Prior columns are collected here. You can reach Roxana St. Thomas by email (at roxanastthomas@gmail.com), follow her on Twitter, or find her on Facebook.
Last week, we brought you Scenes from the Breadline, in the form of my very own photo essay on unemployment. You may recall that, in the communitarian spirit of all Homework Assignments from the Breadline, I also asked you to submit photographs, drawings, or other images that depicted, reminded you of, or documented your experience of life in the breadline.
First, I extend my heartfelt thanks to those who sent their own pictures from the breadline. For what it’s worth, my empirical research indicates that you are strict constructionists: you construed the assignment narrowly, and responded almost universally with photographs, rather than pictures scrawled in crayon, found art, or collages made from your unemployment check receipts and Ramen soup labels. (I mention this not as a criticism, but as a reminder that I welcome any and all of your creative efforts on an ongoing basis. I like to hang them up on my refrigerator, so that I can be reminded — while making soup- – of the excellent company I keep here in the breadline.)
Second, while I love you all the same, I must note that the New Yorkers amongst you responded in force. Perhaps it is because we are intransigent overachievers, and take homework assignments seriously (no matter who doles them out). Perhaps it is because signs of the recession are so visible here, and so ubiquitous. Either way: thanks, home team! And thank you, friends and readers from every outpost of the breadline. As always, you did a fantastic job.
Without further delay, we bring you (more) Scenes from the Breadline.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Notes from the Breadline: Every Picture Tells a Story (Part II)”

Thumbnail image for Puerto Rico law Westlaw boycott.JPGPuerto Rico You lovely island
Island of tropical breezes
Always the pineapples growing
Always the coffee blossoms blowing

And no law school going.
According to tipsters, Puerto Rico School of Law is being shut down:

The University of Puerto Rico School of Law has been unexpectedly shut down for a week. Law students protested today (Tuesday) in streets during rush hour.

It’s hardly surprising if there are student protests. They have no place else to go. Our tipster reports:

The law school’s closure is not the only one. The president of the University of Puerto Rico has placed the entire system, except for its affiliated hospitals, on academic and administrative recess for a week in an effort to cut costs. This includes dormitories; students were ordered to vacate their dormitory rooms. The timing of the announcement came as a surprise, as students had expected that a vote by the student assembly set for today (Tuesday) would determine whether the school would be put on recess.

We’ve heard of workers being forced to take a furlough because of the recession, but not an entire university system.
Then again, maybe they don’t even need law school in Puerto Rico anymore.
More details after the jump.

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columbia law school logo.jpgTuition at Columbia Law School this year is $48,004 (which doesn’t include $1,638 for health insurance and a $95 “transcript fee”). The estimated living cost for an academic year is $21,263. Putting it all together, students are looking at more than $70,000 for a year of legal education, during the worst recession in the legal industry most people can remember.
You’d think all of that would at least buy you a plastic fork at lunchtime. But you’d be wrong. Tipsters report that Columbia is now charging $.15 for plasticware in the law school cafeteria.
I’ve been doing this job for over a year now, and in that time some pretty petty cutbacks have scrawled across my inbox. But this might be the most outrageous “reverse perk” of all.
Let’s take a stroll through some other recession cutbacks.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Columbia Law School Now Charges For Plastic Forks”

pyramid scheme capstone small.jpgCorporations are so busy reducing the amount of money they spend on outside counsel that it’s easy to overlook the fact that they are also reducing the money they spend on in-house counsel. Well, it’s easy to overlook the fact if you are not in-house.

But a new survey reports that in-house lawyers are feeling the salary pinch along with their firm-based colleagues. The ABA Journal reports:

Lauren Chung, director of the Hildebrandt survey, told the ABA Journal that the frugal approach extends to compensation for in-house lawyers.

“Do I think that lawyers overall are making less?” Chung said. “They’re not getting the increases that they had been enjoying for the past several years. Every year they were almost guaranteed an increase. This year we see very clearly that is not the norm anymore.”

Of course, in-house lawyers aren’t exactly crying poverty. Their salary, even without the yearly raise, is still pretty good.

Check out just how good it is after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “In-House Counsel Salaries Might Not Be Frozen, But They Are Certainly Flat”

Thumbnail image for Dave Johnston and Ashleigh.jpgThis summer, Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law 3L Dave Johnston won $50,000 on the online game show, “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” He had a little help from the TruTV (formerly Court TV) anchor, Ashleigh Banfield. When we interviewed him back in July, we asked what his plans were for his 50Gs.

He said he wanted to use them for a “good cause”: fighting back against Cardozo’s kosher policy. Since Cardozo Law is part of Torah-embracing Yeshiva University, the stated policy is that no school money can be spent on unkosher food, according to Johnston. In his words:

That meant student groups could only purchase their food from certain ultra-Orthodox kosher restaurants that had agreements with the administration. In the interest of cost, most orgs would opt for kosher pizza, made without the meat enzyme found in regular cheese but with the rich flavor of oily cardboard. It’s also more expensive than most pies. Meanwhile, one block west of Cardozo is Famous Original Ray’s (the real one) and one block east is Patsy’s Pizzeria. Where I grew up in California, my pizza options were usually Domino’s and Papa John’s. Maybe that’s why this policy boggles my mind. Here you have the world’s finest pizza in pizza-crazy New York so close, and the majority of Cardozo students do not keep kosher, so it just seems criminal to force us to pay more for less.

“Criminal” seems like a bit of a stretch. But Johnston says the kosher policy caught him by surprise when he first arrived at Cardozo:

This kosher situation caught me off guard when I came to Cardozo as a secular Jew. The kosher policy is not mentioned in Cardozo brochures. Cardozo had been described as a secular law school (see ["Cardozo Law School is secular, but as a result of its heritage many of its students are Jewish."]). I knew Cardozo was affiliated with Yeshiva University, but they seemed separate and distinct. For example, if you refresh the Yeshiva University homepage, you’ll see yarmulkes in most of the photos. I haven’t found a single one on the Cardozo website. To me, that was telling.

Judging potential law schools based on the photos on their websites is probably not the best way to go about the selection process. But at least it tells you more about the attractiveness of the student body than the U.S. News and World Report rankings.

After Johnston won his Millionaire jackpot, he met with Cardozo Special Events about holding an unkosher feast to celebrate his winnings and thank his fellow students for their support. “I wanted to do it by giving them the mouthwatering pizza that no one else would,” said Johnston.

Find out whether pig products found their way into Cardozo conference rooms, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “One 3L’s Anti-Kosher Crusade at Cardozo”