The scream.jpgTimes are difficult for 3Ls. The legal economy is in shambles. Their debts are about to come due, and they have no reasonable opportunities for legal employment. Many third years have resorted to cold, unsolicited résumé dumps, hoping against hope that they’ll get lucky.

There is a lot of pressure on 3Ls. But handling enormous pressure is an important skill for would-be attorneys. One 3L who faced this employment pressure totally collapsed. Unfortunately for the 3L, that collapse is preserved over email.

The situation started innocently enough. The unidentified 3L sent in a résumé and cover letter to Webster & Associates LLC, looking for legal work. The letter was inartfully addressed to “Esteemed Mr. Webster, Partner:”

I know, you’re thinking that this 3L thought he was addressing Partner Emeritus instead of a regular person. But that’s not really the problem here.

The problem is that Webster & Associates is not a law firm; it’s a company run by a man named Bruce Webster that specializes in IT consulting. Two seconds on the Webster & Associates website would have revealed this fact.

Webster sent the job seeker back an — admittedly curt — response. And then things got out of hand.


Webster’s note to the 3L did contain some key pieces of advice:

If you did just a wee bit more research — such as actually look at my website — you’d discover that I’m not a lawyer, nor is my company a law firm. I’m an IT consultant who also does work as as a consulting/testifying expert in lawsuits that involve computer technology. If this is an example of the contacts you’re trying to make at actual law firms, I suspect you won’t have much luck. You really do need to track down actual live people and speak with them. Good luck on the job search.

The 3L decided to respond to this message and, well, basically lost his mind. Here’s what the 3L sent back to Webster:

Bruce:
Your patronizing and condescending tone is not appreciated. I’m glad you have your career made and are so far removed from the stress of finding a job as a fledgling attorney. By your own admission, you state that you are not a lawyer, and have thus never had to look for a job as an attorney; but then you proceed to belittle and criticize my method, and to give advice regarding how to get a job as an attorney.

You’re right: in searching for the “Webster & Associates” that was contained in a list of law firms that was given to me from my Career Services department, I was not informed that the firm does not even have a website. Thus, my cursory review of your website (I did look at your website), and the subsequent assumption that your firm was theirs, led to an innocent mistake on my part. Fortunately for me, I had a kind-natured accidental recipient who understood the concept of innocent mistake and politely explained the matter in a nonjudgmental way.

The materials I sent to you were not intended for you and I hereby require you to destroy them and any copies of them as required by federal and state law. Failure to do so, or the publication or distribution of any part of them, will subject you to liability for violation of those laws, including criminal and civil penalties and damages. Thank you for your immediate compliance.

After I stopped laughing (approximately six minutes, with tears, and then that hacking smoker’s cough nicotine abusers get when they laugh too hard for too long), I started to feel almost sorry for this 3L. I mean, what did he do after he sent the email? Did he just cry? Did he shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die? Did he act like Jon Favreau in Swingers after he leaves eight messages on Brooke Langton’s voice mail?

Bruce Webster also found the email funny and sad. He responded to the 3L yet again, trying to give him some good advice. Here are some excerpts:

For starters, your greeting line:
“Esteemed Mr. Webster, Partner:”
made me wonder right off the bat if this e-mail was spam from India or somewhere else overseas, and second if this was a mass mailing. That’s not how cover letters/e-mails are typically sent to professionals within the US. A simple “Dear Mr. Webster:” would be far more appropriate and effective.

I also liked this paragraph:

The fact that you would take such umbrage at my relatively mild (if brusque) comments — and then go so far as to write me back a clearly hostile letter, instead of just a simple “Oops, sorry.” or even not replying at all — makes me wonder if you’ve got the thick skin it will take to survive and succeed as a lawyer. As a first year associate, you will be at the bottom of the totem pole; you will be criticized, chastised, and cursed and yelled at for things that are not your fault (as well as those that are); and you’ll be expected to do the impossible on a weekly basis, then harassed when what you do isn’t perfect.

But, Webster also knows how to twist a knife:

Finally — and this ties back to the previous few paragraphs — I personally know and correspond with over 100 practicing lawyers, most of whom work for major law firms here in the US (actually, I correspond annually with nearly 200 lawyers, but of those, I’ve probably only actually worked with 100-120). I’m talking about lawyers I know on a first name basis and for whom I’ve done work (sometimes more than once) as a consulting/testifying expert, and who therefore are far more likely to open and read my e-mails than they are to open and read yours.

So now, stop and think: what if, instead of the reply you wrote below, you had said, “Sorry for the misunderstanding — but since you clearly work with lawyers, can you think of any who might be interested in hiring me?” That could have led to a few exchanges between us as to what areas of law interest you the most, and that would have probably led to me either giving you some specific contacts at specific law firms (probably pre-vetted by me) or, better yet, having me forward your e-mail on to those specific contacts. It never, ever pays to burn bridges that you could possibly make use of later, even if it’s not quite clear how you can make use of them.

I’ve got to imagine that the 3L looked like Josh Lyman after Bruno explains how Josh gave away the tobacco issue on The West Wing.
You can read Webster’s full response over on his website.

Like I said, I do have some sympathy for this 3L. But the lesson, as always, is: don’t be a douchebag. It almost always backfires in the end.

How not to handle a cold contact e-mail mistake [Webster & Associates]
ADVICE TO LAW STUDENTS [Instapundit]

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  1. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 4:47 PM

    CHECK YOU NETWORK

  2. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 4:49 PM

    First!!!

  3. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 4:54 PM

    Blow Job.

  4. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 4:55 PM

    CHECK YOU TIMING, 2

  5. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 4:58 PM

    I’d be willing to bet money that the 3L is top 10%, and therefore unable to understand the common sense advice that Webster is trying to impart.

  6. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:01 PM

    This is awesome. One of those douche-bag 3L’s from a TTT who thinks that s/he knows everything in the world, and is revealed as a dumbass self-entitled bastard.
    People…being civil is almost always the way to success.
    This includes you crazy uptight feminists, you self-absorbed/entitled liberals, you know-it-all Scalia pretend-you-know-everything-in-the-world conservative types, and…well…myself too after that rant.
    But this is anonymous, so who cares? Take that world.

  7. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:02 PM

    Webster seems like a decent dude.

  8. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:06 PM

    Yikes!!! What kind of 3L is this fucking stupid? This is the type of person who never had a drink in law school.

  9. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:09 PM

    Webster does not seem like a decent dude – he seems like a douchebag for posting this on his website. Yes, I realize he isn’t identifying the person in question, but it isn’t necessary for him to put the matter out in the public.
    It just shows you what he’s capable of, which tells me to not trust him.

  10. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:11 PM

    hi

  11. Posted by Partner Emeritus | February 4, 2010 at 5:11 PM

    Bravo Mr. Webster. I couldn’t have worded a better reply to that insolent and self-entitled misanthrope. Based on how he drafted his emails, I suspect the third year law student (a/k/a dead man walking) is from a non-peer legal institute that is commonly referred to on this site as a third tier commode. This brute doesn’t even possess the demeanor to work at a Payless shoe store. I see a penurious future for that unfortunate person.

  12. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:12 PM

    Does anyone notice that Webster is totally calling this kid out on his threat to sue.
    Posting all this information is like taunting the poor little bastard: “Sue me, go on…let’s see what you got.”
    And the little dorky wanker will walk off with his tail between his legs like the useless whino that he is.

  13. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:12 PM

    Humiliating (admittedly) strange, awkward, and desperate people is really shitty. I don’t see the point, this isn’t Gawker and that poor sap isn’t some reality show tool trying to be famous. WTF?

  14. Posted by TheSituation | February 4, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    he should quit the job hunt and hit the Shore instead

  15. Posted by TheSituation | February 4, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    he should quit the job hunt and hit the Shore instead

  16. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:16 PM

    insert pompous shtick here

  17. Posted by Tibor | February 4, 2010 at 5:18 PM

    pwned, That is all. Oh, wait, PE sucks donkey balls.

  18. Posted by Tibor | February 4, 2010 at 5:19 PM

    pwned, That is all. Oh, wait, PE sucks donkey balls.

  19. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:23 PM

    Webster strikes me as a D bag as well.

  20. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:25 PM

    Considering Webster put up job info on a law school’s job hunting site shouldn’t he have expected law students to send him stuff? This doesn’t make sense at all. Something doesn’t add up.

  21. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:29 PM

    Is this the Mr. Webster who invented the dictionary?

  22. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:33 PM

    22: Reading comprehension fail.

  23. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:34 PM

    The website clearly stated that the 3L apologized afterwards and blah blah blah…
    “UPDATE 02/04/10: I received a lengthy and humble e-mail from the Third Year Student apologizing for his/her initial response to me and outlining the various stress factors — general and personal — of coming out of law school right now. I very much understand them, and it’s far better that s/he blow up at me now rather than at a prospective employer later. I’ll also note that the Third Year Student said in that e-mail that having this exchange up on this site “is a good idea…as a warning to others.” Class act, that.”

  24. Posted by Neandertard Patrol | February 4, 2010 at 5:36 PM

    That’s right 14, why would he thank Elie? Couldn’t possibly be for what he says it’s for — putting up a link to the Webster site.

  25. Posted by EllieWeasel | February 4, 2010 at 5:38 PM

    25–Third Year Student still maintains his/her anonymity. S/he cannot obtain redemption until his/her name is known on ATL.

  26. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:42 PM

    The 3L is a dumbass.
    Webster is a dick.
    The 3L should sue him for posting it on his website. That would take the smirk off of that IT-douche’s face.

  27. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:45 PM

    To paraphrase Bukowski, the kid needs to spend a couple of years down in the coal mines. Or maybe some place like Haiti. Give him some perspective. I know, I was once a big-mouthed, over-privileged kid myself. Takes a few years to learn what real hardship is. Then you quiet down and count your blessings.

  28. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:45 PM

    22: Re-read the article and see if you can figure it out.

  29. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:50 PM

    To paraphrase Bukowski, the kid needs to spend a couple of years down in the coal mines. Or maybe some place like Haiti. Give him some perspective. I know, I was once a big-mouthed, over-privileged kid myself. Takes a few years to learn what real hardship is. Then you quiet down and count your blessings.

  30. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:50 PM

    To paraphrase Bukowski, the kid needs to spend a couple of years down in the coal mines. Or maybe some place like Haiti. Give him some perspective. I know, I was once a big-mouthed, over-privileged kid myself. Takes a few years to learn what real hardship is. Then you quiet down and count your blessings.

  31. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:52 PM

    Webster, douche.

  32. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:54 PM

    Hey, you know what is not a class act? Saying you won’t freeze salaries, but then slashing salaries with zero notice because you’ve decided that a massive associate pay cut is the only way to make budget.
    I have another one. Telling associates for over a year that they’ll be slotted into a merit-based bonus range, and then, again without notice, just scrapping the ranges and giving everyone the lowest bonus possible, regardless of merit.
    Whodunnit? King & Spalding.
    Oh by the way, K&S still hasn’t announceed 2010 compensation, even though its largest competitor in Atlanta gave raises effective 1/1/10.

  33. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:54 PM

    LOL,
    This Webster guy is a complete fucking douchebag. If you go to his website, you’ll note he uses terms like “boilerplate” to describe the 3L’s salutation. What a disaster. He then proceeds to try and analyze what sounds like a standard e-mail disclaimer (in which I don’t know nor do I have time to determine whether it was in the original 3L e-mail), but asking someone not to publish and accidental e-mail is perfectly ok and could subject the publisher to liability irregardless of the author’s original intent (here, it was to send an e-mail to a law firm, and therefore Webster’s analysis of intent is completely misguided as the 3L clearly didn’t intend to send the e-mail to this dipshit). Webster is a wannabe intellect, and posted this correspondence (seemingly with an alcohol buzz), to prove somehow that his ken is on par with his lawyer clients, which it clearly is not.

  34. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 5:54 PM

    The website clearly stated that the 3L apologized afterwards and blah blah blah…
    “UPDATE 02/04/10: I received a lengthy and humble e-mail from the Third Year Student apologizing for his/her initial response to me and outlining the various stress factors — general and personal — of coming out of law school right now. I very much understand them, and it’s far better that s/he blow up at me now rather than at a prospective employer later. I’ll also note that the Third Year Student said in that e-mail that having this exchange up on this site “is a good idea…as a warning to others.” Class act, that.”

  35. Posted by Barack H Obama | February 4, 2010 at 6:01 PM

    I would recommend that this 3L could target his resume to the completely-real 99th District of North Dakota, in which $2 million of stimulus funds were spent in order to save four jobs.

  36. Posted by bfwebster | February 4, 2010 at 6:02 PM

    Hey, y’all! The feedback has been interesting, if sometimes pungent (and at times ill-informed; as #24 noted, go back and _read carefully_).
    I have no apologies for posting the exchange, since — aside from the salutation and one sentence out of the original e-mail — all I posted from the student was her/his hostile and threatening e-mail back to me (for which, as noted, s/he subsequently apologized). I kept the post scrupulously anonymous precisely so that the student him/herself wouldn’t suffer any repercussions, either at school or in his/her job hunt.
    And I was never smirking when writing this student back or posting the reply. I was hoping to actually improve this person’s efforts at job hunting and caution him/her about the potential repercussions of flying off the handle in a professional e-mail exchange.
    Just to show that I’m not snark-free, I will note this: I took to the time to register here and post under my own name and with contact info. The 3L sent me that hostile e-mail under his/her own name and with contact info. Every hostile (to me) remark here has been via an anonymous post. I’m impressed by the courage of your convictions. :-) ..bruce..

  37. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:04 PM

    Webster =’s major douche.

  38. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:10 PM

    Hey Bruce,
    It’s not a lack of courage why we lawyers post anonymously, it’s self-preservation. Do you know how bad it would be if we posted our names on abovethelaw? First, it would hurt this website because the comments wouldn’t be half as hilarious. Second, it would indicate to our employer that we’re messing around and not working. Third, things we say are subject to discipline by the bar who can take away a career in a second. I suggest you get off your high horse and gain some common sense. I’m really glad this is the best thing that’s ever happened to you in your life buddy.

  39. Posted by Neandertard Patrol | February 4, 2010 at 6:11 PM

    Don’t worry about the commenters here, Bruce. 36’s reading comprehension, for example, compares unfavorably with most first-graders. Not worth paying attention to.

  40. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:12 PM

    I think that Mr. Webster did that kid (and many of us who are similarly situated) a real favor. I give him a lot of credit.
    I wonder, though, if he would have “introduced” the kid around to his lawyer clients and friends, as he says he might have done.
    Is he doing it now that he got the classy apology? Maybe Mr. Webster can let us know.
    This story could have a very happy ending.

  41. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:12 PM

    “I was hoping to actually improve this person’s efforts at job hunting and caution him/her about the potential repercussions of flying off the handle in a professional e-mail exchange.”
    There was nothing professional about Webster’s emails to the 3L. He was just try to treat someone like shit to boost his own ego, like a typical douche bag.
    Here an idea, Webster… go fix somebody’s email.

  42. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:16 PM

    Who is he going to introduce him to? The manager of the help desk at Foley?

  43. Posted by bfwebster | February 4, 2010 at 6:16 PM

    #41: “I’m really glad this is the best thing that’s ever happened to you in your life buddy.”
    Actually, my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. But if you’re talking about professionally:
    http://brucefwebster.com/about-bruce-f-webster/
    As I said, I stand publicly by what I say and write. ..bruce..

  44. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:17 PM

    Webster was cool, but was posting this really necessary? someone will find out the identity of the douche 3L and his already miserable life will get even worse.

  45. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:20 PM

    No, Webster is not a douche. If he was a douche, he would have threatened to send that email chain to all his attorney contacts.
    The 3L is the douchebag here. I bet he is the kind of guy who tries to impress laypeople with his future JD and probably gives bad, unsolicited legal advice to people.
    Yeah the job market sucks, but I have to agree with Webster in his first email: how is this guy going to handle REAL stress

  46. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:23 PM

    If you know the 3L, you could probably figure out his/her identity from that weird greeting, or other cues from the email. I hope Webster gets taken to the cleaners. There was no reason for his attitude if he really wanted to “help” the 3L.
    On the other hand, he has a bachelor’s in computer science from BYU. With amazing credentials like that, how can you help but have an enormous ego?

  47. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:31 PM

    webster is a fuckin disgusting misanthrope.

  48. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:35 PM

    The funny part of this – Webster is an aspiring expert. (Though I’m not sure why you’d hire him without any real credentials and without a Ph.D.).
    But I’m pretty sure none of us would ever hire him for anything now. He got some nice P.R. in the legal community with this move. So who is the real loser here?
    Hope it was worth it, Bruce.

  49. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:47 PM

    I was kind of on Bruce’s side, until he started posting here.
    Not all publicity is good publicity, dude. If you really worked closely with lawyers, you’d know that. I doubt, however, that you really had/have any solid legal connections, as your BSCS barely qualifies you to install my internet explorer upgrade.
    I think Bruce as JD envy.

  50. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:54 PM

    Looking for a job as a 3L sucks.

  51. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 6:55 PM

    This 3L doesn’t sound TTT to me. More like a fellow snoody T14 who got his/her feelings hurt by a lowly IT expert witness.

  52. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:22 PM

    56 – I sign all of my internal firm emails using just my first name. If any of my junior associates, or even some of my senior associates, addressed me by my first name in an email, they’d probably be fired. At the very least, severely reprimanded and blacklisted from working on anything for me in the future. There’s a level of respect you need to give to those above you.
    If President Obama sent you an email, and signed it “Barack,” would you reply with “Dear Mr. President”? Or with “Dear Barack”?

  53. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:27 PM

    Bruce: Since you’ll be following and checking in on what the comments are saying about you and the situation (it’s addictive, I know), I just want to urge you to read and answer 43’s comment. Can you please introduce the student to some contacts? That would be the nice and gracious thing to do and I’m sure s/he needs that kind of help what with things as they stand in terms of job prospects. I’d really love to see an update on that since I wouldn’t want to think that after reading all of the comments you ignored the only genuine suggestion/post addressed to you. Thanks.

  54. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:30 PM

    Bruce: Since you’ll be following and checking in on what the comments are saying about you and the situation (it’s addictive, I know), I just want to urge you to read and answer 43’s comment. Can you please introduce the student to some contacts? That would be the nice and gracious thing to do and I’m sure s/he needs that kind of help what with things as they stand in terms of job prospects. I’d really love to see an update on that since I wouldn’t want to think that after reading all of the comments you ignored the only genuine suggestion/post addressed to you. Thanks.

  55. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:31 PM

    i wouldn’t worry about the comments, bruce. they’re probably just 1 or 2 basement dwellers with nothing else to do.

  56. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:39 PM

    53,
    I’m sure he has JD envy. I mean who wouldn’t want to give up their own consulting business to become an unemployed lawyer?
    Newflash: Law students are not gods. The e-mail that 3L wrote reeks of “I am a god. How dare you insult me?” In reality, he is just a future-unemployed 3L with a useless undergrad in polysci.

  57. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:40 PM

    Mr. Webster makes some good points—the main one being that none of us should burn bridges. Otherwise, though, he comes across as a mean-spirited and petty person. Why not just delete the email or send a brief reply alerting the 3L of the mistake? Who gets pleasure out of humiliating a person who is so desperate for a job that they are sending blanket resumes to every law firm listed on a job search list? ATL & its snarky commentary doesn’t do any better. It should have recognized the fact that the 3L sent an apology AFTER Mr. Webster continued to take time from his (apparently) very busy job to pour salt in the wound. Mr. Webster, some may have convinced you that what you did was well deserved, but all of us realize that you’re just a bully with too much time on your hands.

  58. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:42 PM

    Mr. Webster makes some good points—the main one being that none of us should burn bridges. Otherwise, though, he comes across as a mean-spirited and petty person. Why not just delete the email or send a brief reply alerting the 3L of the mistake? Who gets pleasure out of humiliating a person who is so desperate for a job that they are sending blanket resumes to every law firm listed on a job search list? ATL & its snarky commentary doesn’t do any better. It should have recognized the fact that the 3L sent an apology AFTER Mr. Webster continued to take time from his (apparently) very busy job to pour salt in the wound. Mr. Webster, some may have convinced you that what you did was well deserved, but all of us realize that you’re just a bully with too much time on your hands.

  59. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    63 – well said.

  60. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:51 PM

    Take no prisoners Bruce! There are a lot of schmucks here who need to be put in their place.

  61. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 7:53 PM

    Bruce is a fucking douchebag. The 3L is also a fucking douchebag. They’re both wretched human beings.
    -The end

  62. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 8:19 PM

    Bruce did nothing wrong. You have a moral obligation to post funny shit on the internet.

  63. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 8:40 PM

    Both parties probably overreacted and said things they shouldn’t have, but I’ll say one thing for Mr. Webster – he is a far better writer than most of the lawyers who read (and write) these posts) — especially considering his field is IT.

  64. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 8:56 PM

    Bruce, do you mind coming over here and fixing my computer? Thanks, babe.

  65. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 9:04 PM

    59,
    o hai 3L

  66. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 9:07 PM

    Am I alone in thinking that, with a few obvious exceptions such as dealing with the President of the United States or in other ceremonial circumstances, it’s probably all right to call someone by their first name if they themselves sign their emails with their first name? Is there some sort of rule or convention that I’m missing?

  67. Posted by Partner Emeritus | February 4, 2010 at 9:18 PM

    If I ever met Commissar Obama, I would address him by calling him “Brother Barack;” after all, isn’t this the manner in which he is addressed by the Rev. Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton?

  68. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 9:18 PM

    My first reaction was that both of them had too much time on their hands. My second reaction is that Bruce was taking advantage of the kid and made a story out of nothing, while patting himself on the back.

  69. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 9:40 PM

    57, I’d call him “Boy.”
    - B. Clinton

  70. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 10:17 PM

    36
    irregardless = / = a word

  71. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 11:04 PM

    Bruce is an egomaniac and is obviously in love with himself. Posting the 3L’s email and his response on his website has nothing to do with teaching the 3L a lesson or improving his job-hunting skills. It has everything to do with Bruce’s massive ego, and it’s a sure sign that Bruce has too much time on his hands.
    I agree with some of the other commenters — Bruce showed poor judgment by posting on this site. He’ s obviously trying to prove something, and his motives clearly aren’t limited to offering the 3L some friendly advice. The 3L’s identity will surface, and Bruce will suffer the consequences.

  72. Posted by timotheeeee | February 4, 2010 at 11:10 PM

    lol @ “I know lawyers I could’ve introduced you to.”
    What kind of attorneys are gonna listen to some expert witness’s recommendation for some 3L he met over an email?

  73. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 11:25 PM

    amazing

  74. Posted by guest | February 4, 2010 at 11:25 PM

    FUCK is that why i haven’t gotten a callback from H&R Block?

  75. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 12:08 AM

    Bruce:
    Initially, I thought you were alright. However, I totally lost all respect for you after reading this.
    You demand to be called by your last name? What planet do you come from? You’re not the President of the United States, bro. That’s totally atypical for my big firm work experience over the past decade. First name basis for anyone under 80, including general counsels, managing partners and Computer Science BSers. This is normal business practice in the U.S., Esteemed Mr. Webster, Partner… sounds like it’s right up your alley.

  76. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 12:08 AM

    Webster & Associates = some dude + laptop + wordpress
    Posting the letter on the home page is dickish.

  77. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 1:25 AM

    Hey 36…”irregardless”? I hope that was intentional…

  78. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 1:55 AM

    84, it was.
    -36
    *and was properly used*

  79. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 2:05 AM

    The usage of Irregardless originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that “there is no such word.” There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.
    That’s the point fucktards. It’s called subtle irony. BTW, I’m on the partnership track (next year) at a V3. I hope that gives me a little toilet commenter cred. on ATL. If you cannot read b/w the lines from this striver doucherella Bruce, then you just don’t get whatever ‘it’ is. How did you people not read this and instantly see ignorance, crude writing, and general anti-social behavior? The best part about the whole thing is I knew the idiot would respond to comment 36, and I followed up with 41, 49, and 85. THIS IS HOW FUCKING SMART I AM.

  80. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 2:25 AM

    BTW,
    how is anyone arguing with my analysis in 36? Or do you idiots just like to pick out inconsequential terms to supplant your lack of logic? That may work in Hollywood and Boston Legal, but not in the real world.

  81. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 4:46 AM

    36, 41, 49, 85, 86 and 87, you’re brilliant. Still sound like a jerk/db (potentially even more than nuestro Señor Webster). Almost makes be believe the V3 partnership track line. Congrats.

  82. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 9:20 AM

    As Rodney King once said, can’t we all just get along?

  83. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 9:51 AM

    BRUCE:
    Please read, this is honest advice.
    As a second year associate at a mid-sized law firm (100-200 attorneys), I do most of the research and screening for potential experts in our large litigation. I would never pass your name along to a partner managing a case after this publicity that you have pursued. It just shows you are prone to tackiness and like giving advice on subject matters that you are not an expert on. In other words, you enjoy being an expert too much.
    When we put people on the stand in litigation with $30-60 million on the line, we have to have confidence that they have the tact and common sense to impress the jury, but not come off as condensending. We also like to know someone picks the right battles to fight. You have picked a battle to fight publicly, stemming from a young professional’s silly mistake. If you can’t see how this is an embarrassment to your credibility, you really don’t have a future as an expert witness or in litigation support generally.

  84. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 10:03 AM

    Elie -
    You smoke? …cmon, man, don’t be such a stereotype.

  85. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 11:56 AM

    Ohmygod, another IT guy who thinks he’s a hero. What is it about them?
    Bruce, you threw the first punch. You quickly made the determination that any law student sending a resume to the IT “Webster & Associates” rather than the legal “Webster & Associates” couldn’t be anything other than a careless moron, and you just couldn’t go on with your day without taking the opportunity to insult the person, complete with an obviously disingenuous “Good luck with the job search.” You are the prick.
    I worked with IT guys for years. You’re all the fucking same. Hanging a shingle was probably the only way you were going to get out of the corral of cubicles they keep you in.

  86. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    Ohmygod, another IT guy who thinks he’s a hero. What is it about them?
    Bruce, you threw the first punch. You quickly made the determination that any law student sending a resume to the IT “Webster & Associates” rather than the legal “Webster & Associates” couldn’t be anything other than a careless moron, and you just couldn’t go on with your day without taking the opportunity to insult the person, complete with an obviously disingenuous “Good luck with the job search.” You are the prick.
    I worked with IT guys for years. You’re all the fucking same. Hanging a shingle was probably the only way you were going to get out of the corral of cubicles they keep you in.

  87. Posted by guest | February 5, 2010 at 9:28 PM

    Bruce,
    You are a prick. Allow me to explain why: this 3L is a kid who made a careless mistake. And I say that as a practicing attorney with very little patience for gunner law students. You, however, are a purportedly mature adult with years of life experience. Your assertions that you intended only to help him are clearly disingenuous. This is made clear by your apparent need to engage in a pedantic, flawed legal analysis of the merit of his claims. You know nothing about the law. That much is clear from your little soliloquy. The fact that you attempted to posture in such a manner demonstrates that all you sought from this exchange was self-gratification. If, as you claim, your only intent was to impart a lesson; a short, polite note in response would have accomplished this task. Your myriad attempts to highlight your connections (with only the intent of rubbing his face in his loss) demonstrates that you feel you have something to prove.
    And then, apparently high upon the fumes of your own perceived intellectuality, you posted the exchange to your website. Trust that, from a professional’s point of view, the person who comes out of this looking poorly is YOU.

  88. Posted by guest | February 7, 2010 at 1:02 PM

    Wow. Reading the post’s here in the comments responding to Bruce clearly indicate the level of asshattedness that has inflicted this profession. Bruce, the 3L was a douche, nothing more. And good that you gave him/her a reality check. Posters: if you think the guy’s response was dickish — CHECK YOU GUNNING

  89. Posted by guest | February 7, 2010 at 8:00 PM

    Was going to say something about how 95 was wrong, but decided to take my own advice.

  90. Posted by guest | February 7, 2010 at 9:07 PM

    I wonder, incidentally, why the law school gave out the wrong Webster & Associates contact info? Are Career Services offices not even competent enough these days at getting the contact information of the firms they list, let alone at getting jobs for the students?
    And I’m with 90. Bruce – you may have gotten some temporary jollies from being mean to this kid, but keep in mind that the kid may also have a network. Stupid as he is, he may know some smart people. Alienate him, and you lose your access to those people. Maybe there was a potential client there? Too late now.

  91. Posted by guest | February 19, 2010 at 11:37 PM

    Wow.
    Elie, you are an arrogant douche.
    - Not connected in any way to this story.

  92. Posted by guest | February 22, 2010 at 7:35 PM

    81 ftw.

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