For most of our readers, this is just a regular week. The only noteworthy event is
Elie’s birthday on Monday on Sunday (Mother’s Day — we hope you’ve done your filial duty and sent a card or mailed her some home-made pancakes.) For our little law student readers, though, this is a week that may make them hate Mom… for encouraging them to seek success through a JD. A premise that now seems flawed and that requires at various points in the year, like now, the taking of exams.
Students have all kinds of methods for preparing for exams. We advise abstaining from the devil’s water in the weeks before tests. Our co-editor Elie tells us he had a more specific routine. Before every finals period, he watched Rocky 1 in full. Then, on every test day, he’d start the morning by rewatching the final fight on his “vcr/dvd.” (Aw. Elie went to law school before the existence of YouTube.) Then, halfway through the exam, he’d blast Cake’s “Going the distance.” Perhaps using his “walkman” or “discman.”
If Elie had had a laptop and access to YouTube, he could have subjected his classmates to this routine, watching the fight with the volume turned up and sharing with others what it is to be beaten but not bowed. According to a source at the University of Oklahoma College of Law, there is a 2L who has mastered the art of psyching himself up as public spectacle.
After reading the article on the douchy Dukies earlier today, I had to write you about an experience I had with a fellow law student. Words won’t do the story justice, but I’ll do my best to paint this masterful portrait of douchiness appropriately.
Oh yes, please do…
From our source:
There’s a 2L here at OU that, since his first final of law school, has watched this unbelievably annoying video from Youtube entitled “40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes”. It’s a collection of pieces of motivational speeches from a group of 20 or 30 movies all thrown into one. Does this guy watch it in the library or at home before coming into the assigned room for finals??? Absolutely not. This cocksmoke whips out his computer ten minutes before materials are distributed, cranks up the volume, and proceeds to play the video so everyone can hear it.
More narrative below, but we wanted to take a little break to show you this movie medley. Cocksmoke Sooner can’t be responsible for all two million views this video has… we hope:
Surely he uses his earbuds for this pre-test viewing…
Headphones? Absolutely not. Appropriate level of volume (if there is such a thing for a law school final)? Hell no.
Well, surely then, he just watches it quietly in a zen-like pre-final state…
To top it off, this guy mouths EVERY SINGLE WORD of this two minute video. He gives the occasional fist pump during his favorite parts, and, my personal favorite, wags his finger at the screen as if he is actually talking to someone. And as he does so, he looks around the room to make sure he is achieving his primary goal…getting as much unnecessary attention from everyone as possible.
This guy has been a gunner from day one, so I guess he decided an appropriate finale for each class he takes is to act like a complete jack ass for the final few moments.
Cocksmoke Sooner could easily get inspired at home, replete with finger wagging and word-mouthing, and then run to class. It may be this routine is not so much about psyching himself up, as psyching everybody else out. Thanks, law school curve.
Other tales of pre-exam (or pre-trial) douchiness welcome in the comments, or email us.