Usually, we find conversations with lawyers to be very engaging. But in this video short, Ron Livingston does not:
The video was produced as part of a corporate undertaking — The Responsibility Project — devoted to “exploring what it means to do the right thing.” So, what is it trying to say exactly?
The Responsibility Project is sponsored by the insurance company, Liberty Mutual. To them, we imagine “doing the right thing” is to “not fight too hard when your insurance company doesn’t want to reimburse you.”
The reader who sent the video along to us was linked to it by an advertisement on a Slate piece about the ethics of using those free address labels if you don’t donate to the charity that sent it to you. (Slate says sticker stealers shouldn’t feel guilty.) The tipster said of the video:
I don’t know… it seems insulting? As in lawyers who do their jobs aren’t worthy of love?… I don’t know, maybe it’s the lack of coffee this morning, but it just seems off.
Here are the lessons for lawyers on “doing the right thing” that we got from this video:
1. Sleep with opposing counsel if you need to lighten your work load.
2. Don’t defend nasty ball players who use steroids, or you will betray all 7-year-olds in the world.
3. Don’t take work calls during dinner, or you may end up a spinster for life.
4. Don’t wear $450 shoes if they give you blisters, unless they make you look really, really hot.
5. Always pop the question using a conveyor belt, to give yourself time to change your mind at the last minute.
6. Be a public defender not a private defense lawyer.
7. If you’re obsessed with winning, there’s something wrong with you.
8. Don’t marry unethical lawyers. Just sleep with them.
Lawyers [The Responsibility Project]