Archive for August 2010

Date Harvard Men Without Streetwalking Down Mass Ave.

By Elie Mystal

You know the old joke: How many Harvard men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one; he holds the bulb in place while the world revolves around him.

Many a Harvard man takes that approach to household maintenance, professional endeavors, and even dating. You’re not going to believe this, but some people who graduate from Harvard are real douchebags. Some of them think that just by dint of having gone to Harvard, people will love them, respect them, and shower them with jobs and money. They even make up special phrases for mentioning where they go/went to school, like “dropping the H-Bomb.”  Good God, get over yourselves. I’m sure glad my own blazing Harvard credentials, which I keep in special pouch around my neck, have never once prevented me from interacting with the little people in a way that makes them feel like we are all the same species. I’m magnanimous like that.

In all seriousness, there are of course enormous, self-important jackasses who graduate from Harvard, but there are also more than enough people who gladly buy into the Harvard mystique. Now there’s a dating site dedicated to bringing the Crimson and their sycophants together. As they say in Wicked, “they deserve each other.”

Let’s take a closer look….

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Non-Sequiturs: 08.31.10

By David Lat

* Dahlia Lithwick wonders: Is Justice Ginsburg “The Mother of All Grizzlies”? [Slate]

* Five ways to write like David Boies and Ted Olson. [Legal Writing Pro (PDF)]

* Speaking of legal writing, do you share our love of corny Bluebook jokes? If so, read this. [Laws for Attorneys]

* And speaking of gays, and litigation, and people named Olson, Judge John Olson — a bankruptcy judge in Florida — just issued a saucy order, denying a recusal motion based on the fact that the judge’s fiancé (male) works for the firm representing the plaintiff. [South Florida Lawyers]

* Professor Stephen Bainbridge on summer associate programs: “When I was a kid, we didn’t get any stinking $150 cab rides.” [Professor Bainbridge]

* Vivia Chen doesn’t have much sympathy for the now openly gay Ken Mehlman. [The Careerist]

* Thanks to the kind folks at Abbey Spanier for making Above the Law their recommended blog of the week. [Twitter]

Ex-Lawyer of the Day: Cupcake Queen Is Not Above the Law

By David Lat

Meet Kate Carrara. Like a surprising number of other attorneys — e.g., Lev Ekster and Mia Bauer, of New York Law School, and Sam Whitfield, of GW Law — Carrara left the law to start a cupcake business.

Alas, it appears that Carrara, a 35-year-old graduate of the University of San Francisco School of Law, has run into some trouble with the law. From the Philadelphia Inquirer (via the ABA Journal):

The popular vending truck run by Kate Carrara, known as the “cupcake lady,” needed to be confiscated because she had been warned where not to park and continued to break the rules, a top city official said Wednesday….

Carrara’s truck was taken Tuesday afternoon by officials from the Department of Licenses and Inspections, which said it was parked in University City without a vending permit for that area, said L&I Commissioner Fran Burns.

The truck was parked on Market Street at 33d Street. “She thought that spot was legal,” said Andy Carrara.

But as any law school graduate should know, ignorance of the law is no defense….

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Traffic Cameras Play Bad Cop In Civil Liberties Versus Safety Battle

By AltTransport

Every good story needs a villain, which is why people love to hate traffic cameras.

Cold and unblinking, they stalk us like prey, hitting drivers hard in the wallet when they blow through red lights, make rolling stops or, as is sometimes the case, let someone else drive their car.

Frederick County, MD recently began mounting traffic cameras on school buses to ensure that drivers obey traffic laws meant to safeguard children as they cross the street. The cameras will be able to record a car’s front and rear license plate number, GPS position and speed as it passes, according to WTOP.

In February, six Maryland lawmakers proposed mounting traffic cameras on school buses statewide. However, the proposal has met opposition from civil libertarians, who are fighting to protect the rights of motorists to run down kids on their way home.

“There are some school buses which can extend their ‘stop’ sign without actually coming to a full stop themselves or turning on their yellow lights first, so a driver could be charged with ‘passing’ in the opposite lane when in fact the bus that was still moving or they simply had no warning,” wrote Ron Ely of StopBigBrotherMD.org, a group that opposes traffic cameras and sees them as manifestations of “unchecked government power” and “backdoor taxes,” according to their website.

“Statistically speaking, compared to other types of traffic accidents, the number of traffic fatalities involving children boarding school buses is very small,” Ely said, citing a report from the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration which indicated children were at eight times greater risk riding with their parents than taking the bus.

We’d like to know if children being maimed is an acceptable risk, as long as they’re not being, you know, killed, as they rush home to play video games.

Read more and comment on AltTransport….

Retirement Benefits for Partners: How Does Your Firm Handle Them?

By David Lat

'And then I told him I'd file a motion to compel his a**....'

It’s important to think about — and not just think about, but save for — your retirement. This is especially true now that Social Security is looking less than alluring. (When I see that money taken out of my paycheck, I just kiss it goodbye, forever.)

When it comes to providing for associates and other employees, most large law firms take a fairly straightforward approach: they offer 401(k) accounts, but no matching employer contributions. One of the few Biglaw firms that provided a match, K&L Gates, stopped that policy back in 2007.

With respect to retirement provisions for partners, there’s more variation from firm to firm. Some shops provide for retired partners in very generous fashion. For example, retired partners at Wachtell Lipton can receive annual seven-figure payouts for many years after leaving the firm (although sources at my former firm tell me some of this money represents a return of capital to the retired partners, and as such will vary from partner to partner).

A million-dollar retirement benefit is no doubt very pleasing. But at other firms, aging partners are less content with their arrangements….

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Welcome 1Ls: You Decided to go to Law School, Now What?

By Elie Mystal

The class of 2013 probably won’t return to Above the Law in full force until after Labor Day. But a couple of comments on last night’s LeBron James post alerted us to the fact that some of the new 1Ls are here with us now:

Maybe I’m missing something, but on what basis does the court in Washington, DC exercise jurisdiction over Gloria and LeBron? Shouldn’t their lawyers raise this issue before trying to dismiss the suit as meritless?

An ATL veteran provided the credited response:

Glad to see we have newly-minted 1Ls again. Now sit on my [manly man part] while I rub your international shoe.

Yep, it’s back-to-school time. Now that thousands of 1Ls have committed to going to law school, the question arises: What should these people do to get the most out of their legal education?

We’ve got theories, the legal blogosphere has theories, and we’re sure ATL commenters have theories. Let’s help these 1Ls get prepared for what they’ve gotten themselves into…

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Career Center: A Useful Resource for On-Campus Interviewing

By Above the Law

With OCI in full swing, you should check out the firms below to see if it is one of the firms you have a callback interview with. Wondering how summer associates rated their summer experience at the firms you may be interviewing with? Check out the Career Center for valuable insight on summer programs, as well as firm-specific information that will be helpful in your interviews.

  • Out of the office by 6:00 p.m. and no weekend work faced the summer associates at this firm. When they weren’t working on “realistic work assignments,” summer associates attended several social events including a retreat at the Four Seasons Hotel in Atlanta.
  • Vegans and sedentary individuals may not fit in with the summer associates at this firm. While summer associates commend the firm for being “open and honest,” a number of 2009 summer associates were asked to accept firm-sponsored fellowships and defer their start dates until January 2012.
  • Summer associates at this firm receive continuous feedback on work assignments and attend writing seminars, mock trials, and corporate transaction workshops. In addition to not getting work stuffed down their throats, summer associates brag that they attended far more events than their peers at other firms.
  • This firm reduced the length of its summer program and cancelled summer programs in a couple of its offices in 2010 and 2011. Summer associates fortunate enough to get a summer gig here usually worked on 11 to 15 assignments and are encouraged to work in different practice groups.
  • The good ol’ days are still alive and well at this firm, where summer associates get to live it up on yacht cruises and get prime seats to baseball games, symphony concerts, and musicals. The tradeoff for all the social events is the occasional “long night in the office,” but summer associates typically leave the office between 5:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m.

For information on summer programs and associate life at all the top firms, visit the Career Center.

The ACLU, Suspected Terrorists and American Policy on Killing Them — A Wedding Crashers Screenplay

By Above the Law

Ed. note: This post is by “The Gobbler,” one of the two writers under consideration to join Morning Dockette as a Morning Docket writer. As always, we welcome your thoughts in the comments.

I was asked to cover the lawsuit filed yesterday by the ACLU against the Obama administration regarding its policy of keeping a “kill list” and, to a larger extent, following up on it. Ashby Jones does a workmanlike summary of the basics here, providing links to background, discussion, and the complaint. Rather than rehash the facts, or lead a discussion of the latest embarrassingly naked moment in America’s long history of civil-rights-shrinkage during dips in the wartime pool, I thought I’d get creative. Sorry.

What follows is a screenplay depicting the rocky relationship between Mr. Anwar al-Aulaqi (pictured), the first American citizen added to the CIA’s naughty list; the ACLU, which, on Anwar’s behalf, alleges that the list and any action thereon violates several sections of the Constitution and international law; and the American Government. As the title suggests, it’s based on the plot and dialogue from Wedding Crashers. Christopher Walken will play the role of America, with Keir O’Donnell (a/k/a “Todd”) playing the role of Anwar. The supporting cast, in order of appearance: Vince Vaughn as ACLU, Owen Wilson as Center for Constitutional Rights, Ellen Dow (think “Rapper’s Delight” in The Wedding Singer) as Righty Conservative, Isla Fisher as Treasury, Bradley Cooper as District Court and Rachel McAdams as Court of Appeals.

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Virginia State Judge Screws the Cooch

By Above the Law

Ed. note: This post is by “Juggalo Law,” one of the two writers under consideration to join Morning Dockette as a Morning Docket writer. As always, we welcome your thoughts in the comments.

I have a confession to make. I don’t care at all about the environment. It’s true. Since I was in short pants, I’ve been aggressively indifferent to climate change, rainforests, oil spills and the plight of the Duck-Billed Platypus (“has feet like a duck…but it’s furry!”). This despite my parents’ solid liberal bona fides. This despite my presence at one Young Democrats meeting in 1998 (Earnest Goes to College).

And yet, guys? The Cooch is tripping. That’d be Ken Cuccinelli, the Attorney General of Virginia. Yesterday, a state judge blocked his request to subpoena documents from a college professor studying climate change. Take it away, BLT:

Cuccinelli, a Republican, said he wanted the records in order to investigate whether the researcher, Michael Mann, made false claims in connection with state grant funding. Cuccinelli is a skeptic of human causes of global warming, an area that Mann has studied at the University of Virginia and elsewhere. Mann is now a professor at Pennsylvania State University.

This caps a rather newsworthy couple of weeks for The Cooch. He’s managed to raise the hackles of many an interest group in protecting the rights of Baby Jesus and all unborn critters not named Jesus. In doing so, he’s undoubtedly established himself as a rising star in conservative circles.

But what of his latest…err crusade?

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Morning Docket 08.31.10

By Morning Dockette

My name is redacted, but you can call me Morning Dockette. I’m one of the winners of the Morning Docket writer competition. Some of you may know me better as the Tuesday and Thursday finalist from last week’s trial run. In real life, I’m a law school graduate awaiting the results of the July 2010 bar exam. Perhaps most importantly to some of you, I’m a girl. To answer some commenters’ questions, I’m not a mom, and I’m not an angry feminist either, but I totally appreciate proper etiquette. In my spare time, I enjoy life’s guilty pleasures, like watching reality television and catching up on celebrity gossip. I’m also fluent in sarcasm.

I’m so excited to be writing for ATL, and I hope to bring you entertaining stories about the law each morning. I will continue to strive to write witty descriptions about these stories that are somehow both too long and too short, all at the same time. In all seriousness, I welcome your comments and critiques. You can reach me by email at MorningDockette@gmail.com.

Now, on to the links…

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After the Way He Treated Cleveland, Why Would Anyone Want To Be LeBron James’s Father?

By Elie Mystal

Leicester Bryce Stovell

LeBron James is taking his talents to Washington. Well, at least his lawyers are. Lawyers for King James have filed their motion to dismiss the suit filed by Leicester Bryce Stovell, a D.C.-based lawyer. Stovell claims that he is LeBron’s father and that LeBron’s mother, Gloria James, tampered with the paternity test that would have proven his claims. Our own Gabe Acevedo did an interview with Stovell back in July.

We offered LeBron the opportunity to appear on Above the Law during an hour-long special called “The Paternity,” where he would reveal the identity not of his biological father, but of whichever man gave him the best chance of expanding LeBron’s global reach. My money was on Justin Bieber, but so far LeBron has declined our offer.

So, for the moment, we’ll have to content ourselves with what his lawyers say about this Leicester Bryce Stovell character…

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Non-Sequiturs: 08.30.10

By David Lat

* Roger Clemens pleads not guilty. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

* Are you a victim of the “law school scam”? If so, maybe you should have gone into accounting. [Going Concern]

* Speaking of legal education, here’s a podcast about law school rankings, featuring Bob Morse of U.S. News, Indiana University law professor Jeffrey Stake, St. Thomas law dean Al Garcia, and ATL’s very own Elie Mystal. [Law School Interactive]

* Justice Kennedy: E.D. Cal. to 15 (active judges), tells Senate: UR DOIN IT WRONG! [U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit (press release / PDF)]

* Professor J.W. Verret gets into a blog feud with The Corporate Library’s Nell Minow (sister of Harvard Law dean Martha Minow). [Truth on the Market]

* The reader who sent this to us asks: Can Karen Sypher get any of the profits for use of her persona? [Louisville Courier-Journal]

* August 30 isn’t just Above the Law’s birthday. It is also the International Day of the Disappeared, the sobering theme of this week’s Blawg Review. [Not Guilty via Blawg Review]

Always a Trendsetter, Cadwalader Now Experiencing Thievery

By Elie Mystal

Here at Above the Law, we like to know what’s going to happen, before it happens. We therefore pay special attention to Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft. The firm is a trendsetter of sorts — at least for things that are bad. Few remember, but Cadwalader faced down a bed bug epidemic back in 2007, long before every New Yorker lived in fear of the critters.

More people know that Cadwalader was one of the early adopters of massive associate layoffs, with the first sizable round all the way back in January 2008 — well before the fall of Lehman and the true start of the financial crisis. CWT was kicking people to the curb before it was cool.

Nobody knows why Cadwalader seemingly has this mystical power to experience calamities before they happen elsewhere, but one doesn’t have to be able to explain every thing that happens to be true. So ignore the following email sent around the New York offices of Cadwalader at your own risk — but don’t say that CWT didn’t warn you…

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Quote of the Day: They may take our jobs, but they’ll never take… our freedom!

By David Lat

[S]tudents should embark upon a legal education with their eyes open; the job market is difficult, and likely to remain so. Legal education is not, as the comments of some would suggest, an entitlement program….

[T]he real value of legal education is not, and never has been, primarily economic. It’s not about money; it’s about freedom. Legal education gives students what 99.9 percent of humanity yearns for but is denied: control over one’s own life. It is a license to make of your life what you may, to live the American dream to its fullest.

– John Farmer Jr., Dean of the Rutgers School of Law-Newark, defending legal education in a guest column last Tuesday for the Newark Star-Ledger.

(Gavel bang: ABA Journal.)

A Sit-Down with the Law School Transparency Hunger Striker, Zenovia Evans

By Above the Law

Ed. note: When Zenovia Evans (a.k.a. Ethan Haines) outed herself as the law school graduate going on a hunger strike for the cause of law school transparency, she revealed that she lives in Denver. Also living in Denver: Caleb Newquist, lead editor of Going Concern, Above the Law’s sister site for the accounting profession. Zenovia ended her hunger strike today, but Caleb was able to sit down with her for a revealing interview over the weekend. His thoughts — and pictures — appear below.

I met with Zenovia Evans last Friday at a Starbucks in Denver on Colfax Boulevard. The 28-year old, barely-employed law school graduate has been making a stir in the mainstream press and the legal blogosphere ever since she started a hunger strike on August 5th. Admittedly, I was (and remain) skeptical as to her approach as a way of promoting law school transparency and career counseling reform.

When I met Evans, she had a glass of water and a nearly empty 32-ounce Gatorade sitting in front of her.

The purpose of Evans’s hunger strike is well-documented in the coverage here at ATL and in several other news outlets. The bottom line for her is that law school transparency and career counseling at law schools are overdue for change. Major change.

On the day we met, Evans had allegedly abstained from solid food for the last 23 days, so I was expecting someone who was knocking on death’s door. Having experimented with fasting (for health reasons) in the past, and knowing the mental and physical preparedness that is involved, I was surprised to find her lucid — although extremely weak, fatigued and slow-moving…

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A Happy Fourth Birthday to Above the Law!
And: ATL’s Gilt Sale Extended Through Thursday

By Above the Law

Think back, if you can, to August 30, 2006. It was a very different time: George W. Bush was still president, the economy was still booming (even if some of that prosperity was illusory), and the starting salary for most associates in large New York law firms stood at $145,000.

It was on this date that Above the Law first launched. Check out Lat’s letter from the editor, announcing ATL’s debut. Many of the features mentioned in that letter — Legal Eagle Wedding Watch, Lawyerly Lairs, The Eyes of the Law — are still staples of the site today. (Others have morphed a bit. For example, we no longer make fun of other people’s advice columns; we instead publish one of our own, Marin’s Pls Hndle Thx.)

Today we are delighted to be celebrating ATL’s fourth birthday (or “blogiversary,” as some in the blogosphere like to say; but the word “blogiversary” is even uglier than the word “blogosphere”). We’d like to thank all of you — our readers, our tipsters, our sponsors, and our friends — for your support over the years.

To celebrate and to thank you, we’ve decided to extend the special Gilt Groupe menswear sale for Above the Law readers (previously mentioned here). It was supposed to have ended yesterday, but due to popular demand — hundreds of items have been purchased, such as this Thomas Pink necktie that Lat bought, and many selections are sold out — we’re extending the sale through Thursday, September 2, at midnight. To browse the store, click here.

Once again, dear readers, thank you. This site would not be possible without your visits, your tips, and your generous patronage and support.

P.S. Several of our women readers have asked us when ATL will have a women’s wear sale. Fear not; we’re working on special deals for the ladies as well. Keep an eye out for them in the future.

For New Lawyers, the Going Rate Has Gone Up [New York Times]

Earlier: A Gilt Groupe Sale for Above the Law Readers
Happy Blogiversary to… Us! Above the Law Turns Three
Letter from the Editor: Welcome to Above the Law

Are You Ready for Some Fantasy Football?

By Elie Mystal

You know fantasy football has taken over the American consciousness when a fake lawyer threatening fake sanctions in an ad campaign makes the news. This morning the ABA Journal ran a profile of Norman Tugwater, a fantasy sports lawyer played by Gary Busey:

“I’m getting ready to clean up with the mop of justice,” Tugwater proclaims in his YouTube video. “If you refuse to pay our athletes, we’ll come find you, and squeeze it out of you like a tube of toothpaste.”

Tugwater is actually actor Gary Busey, and his video is part of an ad campaign for VitaminWater. “I don’t think twice about coming after fantasy owners. In fact, I rarely think at all,” he writes on Twitter. He continues the taunts on Facebook, where he proclaims, “I wrote the book on fantasy sports law. I also have the only copy.”

That’s right, America is so into fantasy football that Gary Busey is getting work.

I’ve kept my head in the sand regarding fantasy football for a long time. But I can’t ignore it any longer. Let Gary Busey inspire you up below, and then join in ATL’s first reader-only fantasy football league…

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  • 30 Aug 2010 at 11:35 AM
  • Bar Exams

FIRST? North Carolina Bar Exam Results Are Out
Is NC the fastest state when it comes to grading bar exams?

By David Lat

Over the weekend, we received several messages about results for the North Carolina bar exam, which went out by snail mail on Friday. Here’s one email a Carolinian reader sent us:

NC Bar Results were mailed out on Friday… thought you might want to start an open thread or something? I don’t know.

Hmm, we don’t know either. We traditionally post open threads on bar exam results for the biggest states, like New York and California, but we don’t do them for every state. No offense to our many readers from smaller states; we just aren’t inclined to do 50 posts about bar exam results, two times a year.

But we’ll make an exception for North Carolina, since it’s the first state we’ve heard about that has released bar exam results from the July 2010 administration. A question to our readers: Is NC the FIRST state to do so? If you know of a state that released its July 2010 results before this past Friday, August 27, please email us (subject line: “[State] Bar Exam”).

UPDATE: From a reader: “NC is usually the first state to release results, and they typically take 4 weeks. Page 22 of this guide (PDF) has the typical results times for each state.”

How was Carolina able to grade the bar exams so quickly?

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Is NC the fastest state when it comes to grading bar exams?“

Bed Bugs v. Brooklyn D.A.’s Office: Round 2

By Elie Mystal

A couple of weeks ago, we reported on a bit of a bedbug breakout in the Brooklyn D.A.’s office. We thought it was kind of funny, but people who work in that office are not laughing. Instead, emails have been flying around the office — and one message in particular is both informative and hysterical. It’s just hard to decide if it’s hysterical (haha) or hysterical (dogs and cats living together).

The emails are coming from someone who calls himself or herself “Not Taking Bed Bugs” (“NTBB”). This individual is mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. NTBB is trying to incite some collective action from the employees in the Kings County District Attorney’s Office:

Please photograph every bed bug bite you get. Keep records of where in the office you were when you noticed it. Always inform [Lady Scapegoat] via email – exactly how many bites. She needs your help. She needs to know. They need a “paper trail” to document the progress.

Keep your own record of bed bug sighting and always inform [Lady Scapegoat] via email immediately exactly where and when. She needs your help. She needs to know. They need a “paper trail” to document the progress.

IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS FROM BED BUGS, PLEASE CALL IN SICK. ANXIETY IS A DISEASE WITH A MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS.

Also a disease: mass hysteria…

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Morning Docket 08.30.10

By Morning Dockette

Ed. note: This post is by Morning Dockette, one of our new Morning Docket writers. You can reach her by email at MorningDockette@gmail.com.

* In some states, medical marijuana will cost you more than just $450 an ounce. [New York Times]

* Facing possible racketeering charges, the entire cast of Jersey Shore may soon be joining the IFF. [New York Daily News]

* I bet Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream about this… [Washington Post]

* Patently offensive? The world’s 37th richest man sues Apple and Google, to name a few, because he obviously needs more money. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Hawaiians might say aloha (as in “hello”) to gay marriage after California’s Prop. 8 ruling. [Los Angeles Times]

* Paris Hilton should win an award for the most creative alibi of the year. That’s hot. [The Sun]

* The FCC says f**k it, and appeals its indecency policy to the 2nd Circuit. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Protip: if you’re a juror, don’t spill the beans on Facebook that you plan to convict. You might end up being the one convicted. [Click On Detroit]