October 2014

I see London, I see France, I see Christine's sexual past.

* For all of you fantasizing about hooking up with Christine O’Donnell, here’s how it would go down. [Gawker]

* I’m not sure how you follow up a link which includes a story about Christine O’Donnell’s… carpet. But here’s a very funny pleading that went down this summer. [Lowering the Bar]

* She-Hulk is #3 on the list of greatest cartoon lawyers. But if ladies are looking for a last minute Halloween costume, I still think “ladybug” is going to be the winning idea. Just get really drunk and hit on people you’ve known for five minutes. [California Law Report]

* How to tell if you are a beta associate at your law firm. Well, for starters you’re probably getting your roommate’s sloppy-seconds in the form of Christine O’Donnell. [Last Day at the Office Emails]

* Larry Tribe takes a shot at Sonia Sotomayor. You see, one night Sonia came over to Larry’s house and asked him out to a Halloween party… [WSJ Law Blog]

* The Government is set to require “career colleges” to disclose graduation and job placement rates, but not law schools? What the hell is going on here? It’s like the government is taking off its panties, but declaring it intends to stay a virgin. Who pulls that crap? [New York Times]

To quote The Bard, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” So I’ll make this vacation memo witty. (Elie writes great vacation memos, but I don’t aspire to his standards.)

I’m going on vacation, from today until Monday, November 8. And unlike my usual “vacations,” which involve constant checking of the Crackberry, this time I’m going “off the grid”: no email, voicemail, Facebook, or Twitter (but feel free to friend me or follow me, and I’ll respond when I return).

Please send all tips, questions, corrections, and typo alerts to tips@abovethelaw.com. All emails sent to tips get forwarded to Elie, who will keep you enlightened and entertained while I’m away, and to me. (So in theory I’ll see your email when I return — but my track record dealing with emails that come in while I’m on vacation is spotty, to be honest.)

Thanks for reading Above the Law, and thanks for sharing your knowledge and insights with us. See you in November.

You think making pop culture references is something only bloggers do? Well think again. Because it seems judges on the Maryland Court of Appeals are getting into the game.

A reader dug up a case from this summer involving whether or not the state met the burden of proof necessary to show that a pot smoker “possessed” a blunt he wasn’t physically holding at the time.

The court ruled that he did, and analogized the situation to a Cheech and Chong movie.

I’m not sure if it was the decision or the dated reference which enraged the other side, but the dissenting judge pulled out South Park….

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This week, after boring myself to death listening to Lillian McEwen discuss Clarence Thomas’s “activities” on Larry King, I knocked back a couple cans of Four Loko to ease the pain and got right to work on this week’s Rundown.

Lots of free stuff available after the jump, including a free e-book on legal productivity, a newsletter on social media and the law, and a whitepaper on law practice management. There’s also a website that covers the entire history of social media from way back in the day when we had Usernets and BBS, and another article on how dubious discovery could land you in the slammer.

So let’s get on with it. Here is this week’s Rundown…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Rundown: This Week in Legal Technology – 10.28.10″

Elie in the new ATL offices.

Today is a big day here at Above the Law. It’s our first day in new offices. Above the Law is now coming to you live from 611 Broadway, Suite 907D, New York, NY 10012. That’s penthouse floor in the Crate and Barrel building on Broadway and Houston. It’s the kind of space that would make a fine executive bathroom for Biglaw partners, but for us humble bloggers, it’s very nice.

Today also marks the day where Above the Law’s parent company, Breaking Media, officially switches over to a MAC based operation. Since Lat and I have been the only two editors in the stable stubbornly sticking with their PC’s, this changes affects us the most. What can I say, we fear change (and like having two buttons that do different things, Steve Jobs).

In fairness, it’s not unusual for jorno-types to be working from MACS. I mean, they work. In the two weeks I’ve been test driving my ATL-MAC (which is really Kash’s ATL-MAC which I only got after they got rid of all of her totally inappropriate pictures) the thing has never once crashed. It’s never just randomly refused to start. It’s never taken 16 hours to de-frag after being attacked by a virus. It just works.

But the PC is still king at law firms, right? I mean why even have all those IT guys if things just worked when you turned them on? Well, there’s a group trying to figure out if that’s still the case. Are you guys using a PC at work, or are MACs gaining a foothold in a profession notoriously slow to change?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Are You Using a MAC? Inquiring Minds Want to Know.”

The proverbial brass ring.

Even in the economic heyday of a few years ago, making partner at a law firm was never a guaranteed outcome for every associate.  But at large law firms today, partnership prospects look worse than ever. Whether you want to pursue that elusive partnership goal or opt out to work in-house, one thing is certain: you can’t just expect everything to fall into place; you have to take control of your career.

Last month, the Career Center’s Miami Professional Development Panel provided insider perspectives on how associates can increase their chances at making partner or landing an in-house job.  Panelists included:

  • Adolfo Jimenez – Partner, Holland & Knight
  • Tiffani Lee – Partner, Holland & Knight
  • Albert Dotson, Jr. – Partner, Bilzin Sumberg
  • Jonathan Jaffe – Director & Associate Counsel, Royal Caribbean Cruises, Ltd.

What did they have to say?

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What would Nelly do?

Something like this happens every year. Students at major New York law schools get too hot or too cold because the facilitates managers at their law schools turned on the heat too early or too late.

And when law students are made to feel uncomfortable, they bitch. To us, to their friends, to their deans. If law students really are hothouse flowers, then we know that changing their environment can have disastrous consequences.

Thanks to our new Google voice account (646-820-TIPS), people have been telling us just how hot it is at Columbia and NYU. 100 degrees, 1000 degrees, “it feels like I’ve been sent to the Mustafar system” (that was from a friend at NYU who doesn’t ever get laid).

But I’m asking why. This happens every year. It already happened this year at Cardozo. How many New York lawyers does it take to turn off the heat?

Apparently, the process is more complicated than I can possibly imagine…

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Okay, so you’re not socially inept. I’d offer my congratulations, but being socially adept and willing to mingle is only part of the battle for a small firm attorney. It’s a necessary but not sufficient component of long-term success. (Remember all that necessary/sufficient crap from the LSAT? Yeah, me neither. It doesn’t matter.)

What does matter is that you find a way to deploy whatever level of social skill that you have. Even Bobby Boucher figured that out. You have to find something to fill in this blank:

  • Step One: Be a reasonably competent lawyer who’s not socially inept.
  • Step Two: ??
  • Step Three: Profit.

So what’s the meat in the Step Sandwich here? I’ll share some of my own experiences, along with some insightful comments from the readers….

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F. Murray Abraham could be a producer of Two and a Half Men.

While bedbugs continued their silent attack on the Waldorf Astoria, this Tuesday morning, The Plaza hotel also came under assault by a creature equally insidious: Insectus Charliesheenus.

The police found the “star” of  Two and a Half Men three and a half sheets to the wind, naked in his trashed suite at the Plaza, after the woman he was with felt threatened and called the front desk…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fame Brief: Requiem for a Sheen”

Chris Armstrong - the young man who's driving Andrew Shirvell to distraction.

* This potential closet case probably would have been more excited if Chris Armstrong had dropped his pants instead of his request for an order of protection. [Associated Press]

* Comcast tried, but grandma still died. Grandpa is now suing the cable company for allegedly mishandling emergency calls, resulting in his wife bleeding to death on Thanksgiving. [Washington Post]

* There’s a fraternity in North Carolina where you can get three thousand pages of foreclosure documents and unlimited booze. Where can I robo-sign up? [Bloomberg]

* Ever seen a courtroom filled with saline and silicone? Like a good bra, Judge Buchwald has given this Penthouse class action suit a lot of support. [New York Post]

* Darrell Cook’s emergency motion for a continuance was granted while he was on a plane to San Francisco to see Game 1 of the World Series. Too bad the Rangers choked. [Dallas Morning News]

* LimeWire is permanently closing its doors. Don’t worry, there are tons of other places where you can download mislabeled music, viruses, and hardcore porn. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Remember Lawyer of the Day, Charna Johnson? Maybe she can channel become possessed by Johnnie Cochran during her disbarment hearing. [National Law Journal]

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