Tomorrow, Jammie Thomas-Rasset goes to trial for a third time over her illegal downloads of 24 songs. As we’ve reported before, the music industry is determined to make an example of her, and tomorrow they’ll be fighting over damages the Thomas-Rasset should pay for stealing things valued at $1 on iTunes.
But what should and will happen to Jammie Thomas-Rasset is a substantive discussion for another day. Right now, I want somebody to tell me who holds the Guinness Book of World Records mark for quickest benchslap. Because District Judge Michael Davis just knocked around Harvard Law professor Charlie Nesson so quickly you wonder if the clerk pulled a hamstring trying to get everything filed in the correct chronological order…
The blog Minnesota Litigator tells us that Charles Nesson filed an amicus brief on behalf of Thomas-Rasset, this morning. His brief had to do with jury instructions.
There was only one problem: nobody asked the good professor for his thoughts on the matter. He’s not representing anybody in the case, he didn’t ask for permission to file, and the jury instruction issue was settled a week ago. Oh, what a delightfully kooky law school professor.
Sadly, Judge Davis was not impressed. Nesson filed his papers today, and Judge Davis got back to him, today:

Skills That Set Firms Apart
Legal expertise alone isn’t enough. Today’s most successful firms invest in developing the skills that drive collaboration, leadership, and business growth. Our on-demand, customizable training modules deliver practical, high-impact learning for attorneys and staff—when and where they need it.
Needless to say, Judge Davis declined to put Nesson’s brief into the record.
But hey, nobody can accuse the courts for moving too slowly when it comes to smacking down law professors.
Capitol Records v. Thomas-Rasset: Bench-Slap for Harvard Law Professor [Minnesota Litigator]