Football, Religion, Sports

Is Tim Tebow in the Super Best Friends?

Readers, please buckle your seatbelts and prepare to be astounded, because I am about to talk to you about football. Yes, I know — football and breasts don’t normally mix (hello, Ines Sainz) – but Elie, who would usually write about football and the law, is pulling me from the JV squad and letting me stand in as quarterback for this post. Let’s hope I don’t get sacked.

Speaking of quarterbacks, today we’re going to be talking about everyone’s favorite Heisman trophy winner, Gator-turned-Bronco Tim Tebow. Although Tebow is a relatively squeaky-clean guy, he has had his fair share of controversy in his football career.

Tebow, who was notorious for writing bible verses on his eye black, is rumored to have brought about the NCAA’s decision to propose the “Tebow Rule,” which banned college football players from displaying any messages on their eye black. Tebow also endured some major backlash after appearing in an anti-abortion ad sponsored by Focus on the Family which aired during Super Bowl XLIV.

Given that Tebow is the NFL’s equivalent of Dudley Do-Right, you wouldn’t expect that he’d be implicated in any sort of legal wrongdoing. But Tebow must have been a very bad boy and neglected his prayers during the Bronco’s bye week, because this week, he was named in a Florida restraining order request. You’ll never guess who his alleged co-conspirators are…

In a request for a restraining order filed by Gainesville resident John D. Gilliand, Tebow has been named alongside Barack Obama and Jesus Christ. Gilliand alleges that he feels threatened by the three men (human or otherwise), and further goes on to state that they are all members of the same gang, having repeatedly thrown gang symbols at him.

Now, we know that Tebow and Jesus are tight — the super-cute football star is also super-religious. Maybe Tebow and JC were just throwing up the sign of the cross. But Obama? Although Tebow and Obama met in April 2009 at a ceremony to honor the Gators’ national title win, there’s not really any evidence that the President is in a gang. I mean really, come on, Obama is even whiter than Elie.

Gilliand also claims that he is constantly harassed by fans and students of the University of Florida. Recently, Gilliand was allegedly thrown out of a Florida gas station for saying “T-Bo sucks.” Gilliand made sure to be clear in his paperwork, though, thinking that the court might confuse “T-Bo” with Tae Bo and its creator, Billy Blanks.

I personally hate any type of exercise although I feel Billy Blanks has a wonderful video.

Although Gilliand hates exercise, with these kinds of accusations, it seems as if his imagination is getting a lot of it. He deserves to be on a “special team,” if you know what I mean.

Gilliand’s request was denied the same day it was filed. But as of yesterday, Gilliand pulled a legal Hail Mary and filed a supplemental affidavit against Tebow and Obama for the court’s reconsideration. Looks like Jesus got benched.

Tim Tebow Named in Crazy Lawsuit [TMZ]
Man Files Restraining Order Against Tebow [Toronto Sun]
Man Requests Restraining Order Against Tim Tebow, Obama, Jesus [Florida Sun Sentinel]
Florida Man Wants Restraining Order Against Obama, Tebow and Jesus [NBC Miami]

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