Fame Brief, Immigration

Fame Brief: Salma Hayek Brings Heat, Boobs to SCOTUS Immigration Debate

Heat makes people crazy. But because Arizona refuses to cut the heat by putting up trees or building an air conditioned dome over the state like I had originally suggested, it has focused its temperature-induced rage on getting rid of illegal immigrants. You’ve no doubt read about the recently enacted Gestapo-flavored law which requires all immigrants to carry proper documentation and gives the Arizona police broad authority to detain individuals suspected of being in this country illegally. But did you know that Arizona hated immigrants at least as far back as 2007?

It’s true. Three years ago, Arizona enacted a law that allows the state to shut down businesses that hire illegal, undocumented workers. And just yesterday, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments about whether the law is preempted by federal immigration law:

Attorney Carter Phillips, representing business and civil rights groups that challenged the law, and Obama administration lawyer Neal Katyal argued the three-year-old Arizona law should be struck down for infringing on federal immigration powers.

Arizona Solicitor General Mary O’Grady defended the law as part of the state’s traditional police powers to regulate employer conduct. A comprehensive 1986 federal immigration law made an exception for licensing laws like the Arizona statute, she said.

Justice Scalia, backed up in spirit by mute wingman Thomas, appeared to defend the law during arguments. But why am I talking about immigration in Fame Brief, a column about celebrites?

Well, yesterday the two worlds collided when Fox News Latino dropped this bombshell on the case:

Actress Salma Hayek revealed that she initially entered the US as an illegal immigrant, in an interview with V Magazine Spain, FOX News Latino reported Tuesday.
The Mexican-born actress, who is now a naturalized US citizen, seductively poses for the cover under the title line: “A Woman’s Weapons.”

“I was an illegal immigrant in the United States,” Hayek said. “It was for a small period of time, but I still did it.”

Folks, that is what we call a “game changer.” To quote Elie, “Salma Hayek’s breasts (SFW) are a national treasure.” True, they were born in Mexico and illegally sneaked into America under a shirt, but, following the American Dream, they moved to California, got augmented and went on to star in that Delta in-flight classic, Fools Rush In. Salma’s fake boobs may technically be a case of International Shoe, but they’re about as rags to riches American as it gets.

One of the reasons this country is locked in a debate over immigration is because illegal immigrants lack a compelling spokesperson that will unite both sides. But with Salma as the new face (and body) of undocumented workers, anti-immigration people can longer think of illegal Mexican immigrants as guys who stand outside Home Depots and steal coveted backbreaking, hazardous work in orange groves from decent Americans. I ask you, what Justice wants to be “that guy” who would force thousands of sexy Salmas to carry papers or leave the country? Not a guy who cherishes his lifetime appointment. Or loathes civil wars.

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