Full disclosure: Gilbert Arenas is one of my favorite basketball players. Sure, he’s a selfish, me-first player. And he seems to be one of the gun-nut whackos I would never want as a neighbor. But the man is the author of one of the best quotes of all time.

Check out Deadspin for Gilbert’s full thoughts on shark attacks. Here’s the kicker:

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.

Arenas is a gunner on the court and off the court, and he would certainly be one in the legal classroom.

So who knows, maybe he would make a great lawyer? He can’t be much worse than the lawyers at Trope and Trope. That’s the name of the law firm representing Arenas’s ex-girlfriend in legal proceedings against the star athlete.

And thanks to Trope, we know everything the woman is alleging against Arenas. Apparently Trope can’t keep its documents in order….

The Washington Post’s Reliable Source column tells us all about the curious life of Gilbert Arenas and his ex-girlfriend, Laura Govan. Govan makes a number of allegations about Arenas, and they all became publicly available because of an error by Trope:

Govan contacted Trope and Trope, a high-profile family law firm in Los Angeles, and met with an attorney from the firm. Somehow, nine pages of typewritten notes from their meeting ended up in the midst of a court filing in another, unrelated case handled by the firm. All the pages were filed in a public docket in Los Angeles Superior Court.

Trope and Trope did not return calls for comment. According to a court order allowing the firm to remove the notes from public record because they contained “confidential attorney-client privileged communications” from public record, the firm “inadvertently copied and submitted” them due to a “clerical error.”

Laura Govan

So, Govan (who is Arenas’s ex-girlfriend, not “ex-wife”) was probably trying to get a settlement out of Arenas, and one of her bargaining chips was likely all these outlandish allegations. But now that the allegations are out, she loses at least some (all?) of her leverage.

Not that the allegations will be particularly shocking to Arenas followers. Like I said, it’s well-established that the man has a deep understanding of sharks:

In confidential notes, Govan — who is expecting her fourth child with Arenas — describes fights where he repeatedly threw her out of the house, his profligate spending (including a shark tank/pool/grotto complex said to cost $1 million), lavish vacations and spending sprees at toy stores.

And yet they never had a nanny, Govan complains, according to the notes: “he would state ‘you had them you watch them.’ “

That’s so cold. Based on Govan’s notes, Arenas seems to think that being a father is more like being a crazy, rich uncle:

He was extravagant when it came to toys for the children — ages 5, 4 and 2 — buying a $60,000 train set and an $8,000 toy Mercedes-Benz electric car, and dropping between $30,000 and $40,000 during a shopping spree at FAO Schwartz. (Arenas also told this story on the blog, but didn’t divulge the amount of money spent.)

Wonderful, a $60K train set, but he allegedly won’t pay for somebody to take care of them when while their mother is busy. No, those kids won’t get screwed up at all.

At least Arenas is still taking care of his sharks:

There’s a lot about how Arenas spent his money, based on her understanding of the household finances: “he states he makes 1.5 million per month,” read the notes. Arenas lavished plenty on their Great Falls home, dropping $100,000 on landscaping, $5,000 a month for housekeepers, $675 “per car” washing, and $1 million for his backyard pool and grotto. His sharks are expensive: $5,000 a month to feed them and $1,500 for a keeper to drive from Columbus to take care of them.

Maybe that’s what Trope and Trope is missing: a personal shark keeper brought in from Columbus. Because I bet Gilbert’s sharks never misplace key confidential documents in a public filing.

Confidential document reveals details of Gilbert Arenas and Laura Govan’s life together [Reliable Source / Washington Post]


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