This is why we shouldn’t let people under the age of 18 speak in public. Ever.

The new Miss America, Teresa Scanlan, is just 17 years old. Why we live in a society that regularly parades minors out in public to be ogled (whether for their beauty or dunking prowess or whatever) is a subject for another blog post.

As you know, beauty pageant winners are often asked about their life ambitions — as if staying “off the pole” wouldn’t be a major accomplishment in itself. Scanlan’s ambitions are particularly funny, more like the stuff you’d expect to hear from a 7-year-old girl instead of a young woman of 17.

Under normal circumstances, the public wouldn’t be a party to these particular ramblings. But since her parents decided to allow Scanlan to be thrust into the public spotlight, everybody gets to chuckle…

This delightful piece of gumdrops and rainbows comes from the press release announcing this year’s winner of the Miss America pageant:

Teresa will be a student at Patrick Henry College. Her scholastic ambition is to attend law school and she ultimately hopes to become a judge and eventually a politician. Along with the title of Miss America 2011, Teresa won a $50,000 scholarship sponsored by Artistry exclusively by Amway to continue her education. For the talent portion of the competition, Teresa performed “White Water Chopped Sticks” on the piano.

Patrick Henry College, you have a lot of work to do.

People Magazine fills out the picture of Teresa Scanlan. She’s from Nebraska, home schooled, and (you’re not going to believe this) deeply religious. And she wants to go straight to the top:

The Nebraska-born beauty wants to attend law school, with dreams of someday becoming a Supreme Court Judge. From there, she has plans to set herself up at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., as president of the United States. “I certainly hope” to become president someday, she told the Las Vegas Sun. But since one can’t run for that office until the age of 35, she admits, “I’ve got another lifetime to wait.”

Yeah, those are some funny and patently ridiculous dreams. But whatever, she’s 17, you’re allowed to have wildly uninformed dreams when you are seven (sorry, seventeen I mean).

If she’s still talking this tripe when she graduates from Patrick Henry, let me know.

P.S. On the bright side, there is precedent for law students turned beauty queens. But these pageant winners, including the three who went to Harvard Law School, didn’t spout as much nonsense as Teresa Scanlan when asked about their ambitions.

Miss America 2011 is Crowned in Las Vegas! [Miss America 2011]
5 Things to Know About the 17-Year-Old Miss America [People]


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