Archive for January 2011

Indy Lawyers Need a Crash Course on Basic Ethics, ASAP

By Elie Mystal

The problem of Hoosier lawyers misbehaving is reaching epic proportions. We’ve already told you about Olubunmi Okanlami, the Indiana law grad who allegedly suspected her boyfriend of cheating, attacked him as well as correctional officers, and wore two bras to prison so she could hide a weapon in between.

We’ve already told you about Kirmille Welbon, a deputy prosecutor in Indiana who allegedly attacked the wife of a man she was sleeping with (more on her later). Both of these incidents came to light within the last 30 days.

And now we have another name to add: Daniel C. McCarthy. This guy just got suspended from Indiana Bar for 30 days (without automatic reinstatement) because he can’t even keep it together long enough to write an email…

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Canadian Judge Cum Porn Star Will Be Probed

By David Lat

Justice Lori Douglas: Underneath her robe lies the body of a porn star.

The last time we checked in on Madam Justice Lori Douglas, the Canadian judge who once appeared in internet porn, the news for Her Honor was good. Alex Chapman, the computer programmer who sued Justice Douglas for sexual harassment, dropped his $7 million lawsuit against the judge.

But Douglas isn’t out of the woods just yet. The civil suit against her may be gone, but the ethics complaint filed by Chapman remains — and has been deemed substantial and credible enough to merit further investigation, from a five-judge panel….

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Fame Brief: Elizabeth Edwards’ Parting Gift to John

By Marin

Let’s face it: the best thing about dying is that you are reunited with your loved ones on a puffy cloud get to control people from beyond the grave. I don’t look forward to dying, but the one thing that brings me comfort is knowing that my funeral playlist will be epic, as I’ve taken the liberty of including it in my will (Thong Song, Pour Some Sugar on Me, Red Red Wine, Mambo #5, etc.).

Elizabeth Edwards, who died on December 7th after losing her battle with breast cancer, didn’t exactly pull a Leona Helmsley, screw her children and leave nearly everything to her dog. But she did exact revenge on her cheating, megalomaniac estranged husband:

Elizabeth Edwards left everything to her children, with no mention of her estranged husband, John Edwards, in her will.

“All of my furniture, furnishings, household goods, jewelry, china, silverware and personal effects and any automobiles … to be divided among them …” Edwards says in the document dated December 1.

Yowza. Not even an “I acknowledge my husband, John Edwards, whom I intentionally omit from this will” put in for good measure. In the words of MTV’s best dating show: John, You Are Dismissed…

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JAG Lawyer Accused of KID Porn (and Maybe More)

By David Lat

A Few Good... Boys and Girls?

If we hadn’t already bestowed Lawyer of the Day honors on Angela West, the Harvard Law grad who maybe shouldn’t have had that extra espresso shot at Peet’s, we’d give them to Lieutenant Commander Mark Tilford. He’s an attorney for the Judge Advocate General’s Corps down in Corpus Christi, Texas.

One would expect a lawyer for the military — the Navy, no less — to be a paragon of virtue. But if the federal criminal charges against him are true, Lt. Cmdr. Tilford may have been more interested in probing than probity.

According to the Corpus Christi Caller Times, Tilford has been indicted on charges of receiving and distributing child pornography. And this might not be his first sex-related brush with the law….

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Oregon Fan / Lawyer Seeks Auburn Fan / Hottie for Short-Term Vegas Wedding

By Elie Mystal

Folks, it doesn’t get any better that this.

As we approach the BCS National Title game, we expect to hear some strange requests from lawyers who are also fans of either Auburn or Oregon. For instance, last year we saw a cleverly written motion to continue from an Alabama lawyer who wanted to see his team play for the title. I expected to see more of the same this year.

I did not expect an attorney who is devoted to the Oregon Ducks to take things to the next level. But then I saw Ryan Tharp’s Craigslist ad. His plan is to watch the game on Monday and then head to Vegas to celebrate (he’s sure he’ll be celebrating).

And the young lawyer wants to have the “entire” Vegas experience — replete with a drunken wedding, preferably to a belle from the defeated fanbase…

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Good News for In-House Counsel: Privilege Prevails in Showdown at Gucci Gulch

By David Lat

Back in April 2010, we bestowed Lawyer of the Day honors upon Jonathan Moss, former in-house counsel to Gucci. There was a question, however, as to how much of a “lawyer” Moss was.

During his seven years working at the luxury fashion house, Moss did not have an active law license: he was a graduate of Fordham Law and a member of the California bar, but with “inactive” status. As a result, during the discovery process in some trademark litigation, opposing counsel from Guess? challenged Gucci’s assertion of attorney-client privilege over communications to and from Moss. The reasoning: because Moss wasn’t entitled to practice law in any jurisdiction, due to his inactive status with the California bar, the attorney-client privilege did not extend to communications with him.

A federal magistrate judge sided with Guess, concluding that Gucci’s communications with Moss weren’t privileged — and subject to disclosure. Yikes. After conducting an investigation that confirmed Moss’s inactive bar status, Gucci fired him in March 2010.

But now a federal district judge — Judge Shira Scheindlin, that delicious judicial diva of Zubulake fame — has set aside the magistrate’s order, and granted Gucci’s motion for a protective order….

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Lawyer of the Day: Ex-Prosecutor Maybe Had A Little Too Much Peet’s Coffee

By Elie Mystal

There’s nothing quite like a good old-fashioned Christmas meltdown — and apparently there was an epic one at San Francisco International Airport on Christmas Eve.

Angela West, a Harvard Law School graduate and former Los Angeles prosecutor, allegedly went to town on a Peet’s Coffee kiosk. With a three-foot metal pole.

Tsk tsk, Ms. West. At HLS you’re expected to smash things with a finely crafted cane or perhaps a tasteful umbrella. A metal pole is unbecoming of your pedigree…

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Job of the Week: Time to Invest in Atlanta Real Estate (Jobs)

By Above the Law

If you are a junior to midlevel real estate associate (2-5 years) looking for a job in Atlanta, then your patience has finally paid off. Lateral Link has been very active in the Atlanta market, and Hotlanta has recently become a hot spot for real estate attorneys. If you have commercial real estate experience, including leasing, acquisition and disposition, we have several jobs for you at some of Atlanta’s top firms. Jobs available for those with real estate finance experience as well.

Position: Real Estate Associate

Location: Atlanta, Georgia

Description: Top national firm looking for a junior to mid-level associate with experience in commercial real estate transactions, including acquisitions and dispositions.

If you are a Lateral Link member, please see position #7473 on the Lateral Link site. If you are not a Lateral Link member, you can sign up for free at www.laterallink.com. If you are interested in this position or any other positions in Atlanta, Florida or other parts of the Southeast, please contact Scott Hodes directly at shodes@laterallink.com.

Morning Docket: 01.07.11

By Morning Dockette

* If you’re a famous pill-popper, you can now blame your shadiness on privacy needs. Judges will totally feel bad for you and let you off the hook. [Los Angeles Times]

* Match.com wants you to know that it’s okay to look. What they don’t want you to know is that you’re looking for love in all the wrong places. [Dallas Morning News]

* The Rock laid the smack down on a candy ass 7-year-old, who apparently failed to smell what the Rock was cooking. What’s cooking now, jabroni? A lawsuit. [Reuters]

* If the Colorado Supreme Court throws out new pot sale laws, stoners will smoke two joints before they smoke two joints, and then they’ll smoke two more. [Bloomberg]

* Looks like you got yourself a situation, dad. In Jersey, you can have baby mama drama even after you’re dead. [Washington Post]

* Judge David Trager (E.D.N.Y.), R.I.P. [New York Times]

ATL Lawyer of the Year: The Finalists!

By David Lat

Although we’re now in 2011 — don’t forget to date your checks properly — we can still see 2010 in the rearview mirror. For example, our 2010 holiday card contest is still going on; you can review the contenders and cast your vote here.

And we still have yet to name a Lawyer of the Year for 2010. Thank you to everyone who responded to our call for nominations. We’ve narrowed down the nominees to a field of ten (although you’ll see only nine options in the poll because one is a joint nomination). As in past years, the contenders run the gamut from distinguished to despicable.

The envelope, please….

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Non-Sequiturs: 01.06.11

By David Lat & Elie Mystal

'BAM's new Chief of Staff William Daley

* Predictions for the legal industry for 2011, from some “legal media stars” — Dahlia Lithwick of Slate, Robin Sparkman of The American Lawyer, Jenna Greene of the National Law Journal, Marisa Kashino of Washingtonian, and our very own David Lat. [Hellerman Baretz]

* A third bedbug lawsuit against the Waldorf-Astoria. And a travel tip: if you stay there, avoid room 1651. [Gothamist]

* Congratulations to the finalists in LexisNexis’s Legal Marketing Makeover — in which Lat is serving as one of the judges, along with Larry Bodine, Carolyn Elefant, and David Palmieri and Carol Eversen, vice presidents at LexisNexis. [Larry Bodine Law Marketing Blog]

* Court order affirms the right of Rhode Island police to harass students who throw loud parties. I know what you’re thinking: “they have loud parties in Rhode Island?” [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Dude, if you are going to sell a law degree on Ebay, it needs to be at least nominally related to the worth of the thing. Only law schools can get away with selling them for 10 times their value. [NetNet/CNBC]

* The “Big Boobs Friday” case has settled, so now you can get a better handle on how much your great idea for an office party will cost you. [CTwatchdog]

* Is Obama friends with anybody who is not from Chicago? [NPR]

* Don’t friend you victim on Facebook. [Lowering the Bar]

* Not really legally related, but the shroud of Turin of underwear has been found, and we wanted you to know about it. [Gawker]

Holland & Knight Has Common Courtesy to Give Associates Reach-Arounds iPads

By Elie Mystal

What in the hell is this used for?

When does the gift of a hot gadget feel like an insult? Apparently when you are an associate at Holland & Knight. This bonus season, the firm gave all of its associates free iPads. And…

Well, associates are still waiting to see if there will be anything other than iPads as a bonus present from the firm.

Can somebody explain to me how the iPad turned into a giant pacifier for white-collar employees? Has any kind of consumer protection agency checked to make sure “placation” is an approved use for the product? I mean, I don’t have an iPad, so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about. But you can’t have sex with it, right? It doesn’t like cure AIDS or grow into a beanstalk or anything?

Maybe the iPad is the most wonderful gadget since the brassiere (the O.G. of gadgets), but at least some of the associates at Holland & Knight were hoping for something a little bit more. And the staff at Holland & Knight, well, I suppose they’re just happy they could help out with getting the associates the iPads…

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Comatose Little Girl Gets Ticket for Jaywalking

By Elie Mystal

Alleged jaywalker Takara Davis

The nerve of some people. There’s a little girl in Las Vegas who was hit by car. She’s 13-years-old and in a medically induced coma.

Allegedly, Takara Davis was jaywalking when she got hit. So a police officer showed up at the hospital and gave the ticket to her mother, Kellie Obong. Why did they hand the ticket to the mother? Because Takara was busy being rushed to the operating room as the doctors tried to stop the bleeding in her head…

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Career Center: Top Tax Practices

By Above the Law

Obtained your LLM in tax and want to know the best corporate tax firms in the country? Check the firm profiles below and see how associates really feel about working at one of these prominent tax firms. And don’t forget to check out the profiles of other firms on the Career Center, powered by Lateral Link, before you make any employment decisions.

  • Tax law is not the only practice group that this firm is noted for. Associates here get significant work experience early on, and they praise the firm for its support staff; associates also acknowledge, however, that the hours can be grueling and partnership is a long shot. Still, the firm earns a respectable #21 on the most-admired firm list.
  • Besides earning high marks for its tax law practice group, this firm is also the #1 most admired law firm according to Career Center users. This firm sets the standard for legal practice and its associates praise the firm for the exceptional work experience and its “generosity.” However, there is no hand-holding here, and associates are excepted to monitor their own career
    development.

More profiles of top tax shops, after the jump.

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Inside Straight: Charging Litigation Losses to Business Units

By Mark Herrmann

Ed. note: This is the latest installment of Inside Straight, Above the Law’s new column for in-house counsel, written by Mark Herrmann.

Here’s an issue that outside counsel never think about, but that matters intensely to in-house counsel: How should you charge business units for litigation losses?

For some types of cases, this poses no problem at all. If a company manufactures a prescription drug and gets named in product liability cases involving that drug, it’s pretty easy to figure out which business unit to charge for resulting judgments. (At least I assume that’s true. Perhaps some reader who works in-house at a drug company can correct me if I’m mistaken.)

But think about negligence cases in the context of a service business. At first blush, charging for litigation losses seems pretty easy: The business unit that was negligent and caused the loss should be charged for any resulting judgment.

If only it were so clear. Think about the complexities here: Some clown at the business unit screws up in 2005. The company is named in a lawsuit that’s filed in 2007. The clown changes jobs and leaves the company in 2008. The lawsuit results in a $10 million judgment in 2010. How do you account for that $10 million charge internally?

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A Short Reader Survey

By Above the Law

Every now and then we conduct reader surveys, to learn a little more about you. Today’s short survey — just two to four questions, depending on your responses — focuses on what you do and where you do it.

The survey is anonymous. The results will be used by us for a variety of purposes, both business and editorial (e.g., figuring out which stories to cover).

One short explanatory note. For the question about where you’re based geographically, the four domestic regions — Northeast, Midwest, South, and West — are based on the U.S. Census Bureau designations (which you can review here).

Please take the survey by clicking here. Thanks!

Above the Law 2011 Reader Survey [Survey Monkey]

Born in the U.S.A. No Longer Good Enough for Republican Lawmakers

By Elie Mystal

I’m not a constitutional scholar, and I didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn last night. But I really struggle to find the ambiguity in this line from the Fourteenth Amendment: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”

That statement seems very, very clear to me.

Of course, I’m not an unabashed racist. Maybe if I was I’d be able to be as intellectually dishonest and willfully ignorant as State Legislators for Legal Immigration, and have the gall to argue that this section of the 14th Amendment has been misinterpreted for 150 years.

Actually, check that. Even if I woke up in the middle of the night terrified that dirty foreigners were stealing my country, I’d grab a shovel and start digging a moat around this country before I fixed my mouth to argue utter tripe like what we’re hearing from the State Legislators for Legal Immigration.

In a world full of spurious legal arguments, theirs is truly one of the stupidest things you’re ever going to hear…

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You’re On Hidden Camera, XXX-Rated Edition

By Kashmir Hill

There are several reasons to steer clear of fake baking, such as the heightened risk of cancer and of turning out looking like Snooki. But there’s one other novel reason to avoid Sunkissed Tanning and Spa in western Pennsylvania. Two women allege that the tanning salon had cameras hidden in the ceilings, which captured clients stripping down before getting into their tanning beds.

The filming allegedly happened in 2006 and 2007. How did the women discover they were secretly being videotaped? When footage of them disrobing wound up on a porn site that they discovered last summer.

How did they come across the XXX site? I dunno. Fortunately, they must have some pervy, porn-loving friends.

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Morning Docket: 01.06.11

By Morning Dockette

* Anyone want to buy a piece of toilet paper for $200K? On second thought, don’t, it’ll probably chafe your ass. [NetNet / CNBC]

* Dead sexy. This girl’s New Year’s Eve joy ride allegedly ended in a post-mortem strip search and photo shoot. [Fox News]

* Jersey restauranteurs aren’t fans of BYOB liquor laws. In case you didn’t know, in Jersey BYOB stands for “Bring Your Own Bag-o-Wine.” [Wall Street Journal]

* It’s not fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A, especially when the employees force your kids to eat “toxic chemicals,” like salt. [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]

* Did you know Emancipation Day existed? Neither did I, but at least I get to procrastinate on my taxes for a little longer. [New York Daily News]

* Meeoow, cat fight! Arm & Hammer accuses Clorox of acting like its sh*t doesn’t stink in this kitty litter lawsuit. [Reuters]

ATL Holiday Card Contest: The Finalists!

By David Lat

The holidays may be behind us (sigh), but Above the Law’s second annual holiday card contest remains in full swing. Thanks to everyone who responded to our call for submissions. The response was overwhelming.

Perhaps too overwhelming: we received dozens and dozens of nominations. I have literally spent several hours reviewing them all — hours of my life that I can never recover. While a few firms’ holiday e-cards impressed, charmed and even delighted me, the project as a whole made me nostalgic for document review. (It wasn’t nearly as fun as reviewing the entries for our law revue video contest.)

Readers, many of you did not follow contest rule #3: “Please limit submissions to holiday / Christmas cards that you view as worthy contenders. We’re looking for cards that are unusually clever, funny, or cool; we aren’t really interested in cards that are safe.”

Alas, we received many cards that were safe. And boring. In a future post, I’ll poke fun at some of the worst ones. I’ll also give shout-outs to a few cards that were nice, but not nice enough to make the final cut. (That will be the “Honorable and Dishonorable Mentions” post.)

For now, though, let’s view — and vote on — our seven worthy finalists….

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