Thank you, Above the Law readers. The results are in for January’s Lawyer of the Month, and I can happily report that I do not write for an audience comprised solely of heartless, cynical d-bags.

Seriously, I’m going to be able to talk to my mother about what I do for a living for a whole week.

In a month that had some worthwhile competitors, one lawyer stood out above the rest…

With a whopping 83% of the vote, the late Chief Judge John Roll won our inaugural Lawyer of the Month contest.

And the honor is well-deserved. Although there are no objective criteria for Lawyer of the Month, I can only hope that when a man dies saving the life of others, he would get whatever insufficient recognition we can dream up. Screaming “You’re doing it wrong” at western parents is noteworthy, attacking a Peet’s Coffee kiosk is crazy, but saving lives is divine.

In fact, it wasn’t just the (generally reasonable) ATL readership that supported Judge Roll. Even the commenters took a brief break from their psychological torture experiments to support Judge Roll. Here are some of the better comments:

I would normally vote for someone unhinged who beat the s**t out of someone else, but Judge Roll has to be the winner this time.

You mean if I went out and started stepping on white people’s feet, I wouldn’t be a lock to win?

Well [Judge Roll] is dominating the results, which suggests ATL commentators, contrary to nearly all available evidence, have consciences and values.

Here’s the best comment:

When I saw that [Judge Roll] was nominated I stopped stitching my dress made of pure human skin and voted for him. It warmed my heart when I saw that others felt the same way I do.

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

In any other month, I think second-place finisher Amy Chua would have been the runaway winner: Yale Law professor, clash of civilizations, WGWAG — that’s a strong résumé.

But there’s no denying the excellence of Judge John Roll. The voters don’t lie. John Roll was, by clear and convincing evidence, the Lawyer of the Month for January.

Earlier: Lawyer of the Month: January Reader Poll