I thought the most sketchy thing I’d see today was this article about people photoshopping the heads of their Facebook friends onto naked bodies and then masturbating. There’s nothing wrong with jerking off, but doing it to friends based on their profiles just seems violative.
Of course, there are things that seem wrong, and then there are things that are wrong. And Thomas Redmond, the creator of Aussie hair-care products, apparently crossed over the line into depraved wrongness.
When Redmond was 77, he banged a woman twenty years his junior, without a condom, and gave her his herpes. Mental note: I need to remember to never use Aussie hair products because the dude that created it has herpes and doesn’t take adequate precautions…
Sadly, we cover much herpes-related news in these pages. There was the Kirkland & Ellis partner, Frederick Tanne, who sued his wife for giving him herpes — until he reportedly discovered that he was the only one in the family with herpes. There was the blind item we ran about a white-shoe law firm that was overrun with herpes. And there was the guy who sued his wife’s psychiatrist for giving him herpes (via the illicit affair the shrink had with the plaintiff guy’s wife).
Obviously, hiding the herpes has become a fun game among those who did not respect their junk enough to provide it with minimal protection. So it’s interesting to see somebody finally get hit with a huge fine for the subterfuge. From LA Weekly:
Thomas Redmond, who created the Aussie line of hair-care products before selling it to Procter & Gamble in the late 1990s, has been ordered by the Fourth District Court of Appeals to pay Patricia Behr $4.3 million after giving her herpes and concealing his condition from her….
The court also apparently ruled that Redmond was wrong for initially not telling her he had herpes, which he’d known about for more than 20 years, and then later admitting he had herpes but telling her that it was fine to have unprotected sex with him because he was not suffering an outbreak.
Okay, if this is all true, then Redmond is a big flaming dick (literally, most likely), and he deserves whatever punishment he gets. But, really? Somebody told this woman — this 57-year-old woman — that “it’s okay ’cause I’m not having an outbreak,” and she said “alright” and traveled with him to poundtown sans protection? That really happened? Man. I hope that woman turns around and sues her high school, her parents, her girlfriends, and the U.S. Department of Education for not adequately preparing her for the stresses of having a sex life.