Upon receiving an email entitled “Breakfast battles at Cardozo,” I naturally assumed there was some kind of kosher issue between the administration and secular students at the school. I was hoping for something outrageous. Perhaps a kid was ready to bite into a ham and cheese croissant when he was tackled by a gang of lunch ladies who then tried to circumcise him with a bagel cutter? But sadly it turns out that I had a prejudiced outlook towards my gmail account. Cardozo students are perfectly able to skirmish with the cafeteria staff over non-religious issues. My bad, guys.
Instead of having religious overtones, this story is an old-fashioned one about a law school trying to nickle and dime its own students during a time of recession. Cardozo isn’t being quite as cheap as Columbia (which started charging students for plastic forks during the recession), but if you were spending tens of thousands of dollars to go to law school, you’d be pissed at your school over this.
Apparently, milk has become far too expensive for Cardozo to just give away anymore….
A tipster describes what’s happening in the Cardozo cafeteria:
A few weeks ago they moved the milk fridge inside the kitchen where it was under heavy surveillance and were very strict when students used a liberal “wrist” with their pouring technique. Many a “milk is for paying customers only!” were heard for this two week trial period.
Now, after some student outrage about their increased chances of osteoporosis, the milk is back out in the public, but, that sign has been kindly posted to, what I can only guess, discourage people from using the free milk for their cereal or mac-and-cheese packets, instead of pouring a splash into their coffee.
Really, ‘Dozo? We’ve got to tighten up our milk protocols now? What, were you importing the stuff from Japan or something?
In any event, the “milk is for paying customers” sign was somewhat understated. The student response sign was not:
And since we’re dealing with law students, you really need to read the fine print:
Okay, cue the people who are going to tell the Cardozo students that $45K a year doesn’t guarantee you milk. Or timely grading. Or a job.
But I’m with you, Cardozo kids. Milk provides essential nutrients that are important for the kind of bone strength that unemployed lawyers will need to perform the manual-labor jobs of the future.