Morning Docket: 04.26.11

* The Supreme Court screwed the Cooch because his health-care challenge came too soon. That’s what she said. [Wall Street Journal]

* Hide your bong, hide your weed, ‘cause Antoine Dodson’s smokin’ everything out here. Run and tell that, homeboy. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* If this guy can hide weapons in a 1/8-inch beard, he deserves a prize – that, or maybe a patent for the smallest shank ever. [Associated Press]

* Safeway is being sued for refusing to gouge gas guzzlers. At this rate, it would just be cheaper to mail your car. [The Snitch / SF Weekly]

* Everything’s bigger in Texas, except the brains of Republicans. They want to stop transgendered people from getting married based on the rationale that they can’t read good. [Washington Post]

* Like father, like son. These people are really keeping it in the family. And by “it,” I mean student loan debt. [ABA Journal]

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