Non-Sequiturs: 04.26.11

* Everybody wants to take credit for pushing King & Spalding off of DOMA defense. But if I was playing Clue, I’d call “House, in the engagement letter, with the gag order.” [MetroWeekly]

* Texas legislature wants “traditional values” student centers alongside alternative sexuality student centers. You think I’m going to criticize this, but I’m not. You see, when I was in school I fought for on-campus strip clubs with all my heart, so I think this is a great idea. [Inside Higher Ed]

* Seems to me that only a dumbass phone wouldn’t know where it was at all times. (zing) [Not So Private Parts/Forbes]

* J-Crew wants to trademark its leopard print cardigan. When reached for comment, the leopard said “I’m f***ing freezing.” (rimshot) [Fashionista]

* I thought it took two to tango so I didn’t know solos could specialize in reproductive law. (Thank you, thank you, don’t forget to tip your waitresses.) [Solo Practice University]

* The AT&T and T-Mobile merger reminds me of two mid-level associates starved for attention who end up hooking up on the floor of one of their offices — only if after the sloppy and embarrassing make out session they decided to get married. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Wait, now the blind people are going to start applying to law school? [ABA Journal]

* I swear to God, if I see one more anglophile American gong weak in the knees over the royal wedding and I’m going to bring them up on charges of treason. These are MONARCHS we’re talking about, the natural ENEMIES of democracy and liberty. What the hell is wrong with you? [Slate]

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