Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 05.09.11

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* Props to the hundred plus Michigan Law grads that walked out on Rob Portman’s commencement address. For additional fabulousity, they should’ve played Diana Ross in the background. [Ann Arbor Journal]

* A homeless child toucher got arrested for moving out of his dumpster without telling the police. No wonder Oscar’s always so grouchy. [ABA Journal]

* “Are you sure you’re not representing the Lollipop Guild?” If you’re tall enough to sit on a toilet, you’re probably tall enough to clean one, too. Just not in New York. [New York Post]

* Don’t drop the soap, Lenny. Mr. Dykstra is looking at 80 years in prison for bankruptcy fraud charges. Will the MLB star go from “Nails” to “Nailed” while in the slammer? [CNN Justice]

* I’m not sure why judges like quoting Bob Dylan in their opinions so often. Whitney Cummings was right: Bob Dylan does sound like what I look like in the mornings. [Los Angeles Times]

* UDel may have to delay its plans to build an elite law school — but that’s totally okay, because Delaware already has a prestigious, fourth tier second tier legal institution. [News Journal]

* “Floridians are going to have to start pulling up their pants and stop having sex with animals soon.” As TTTroll can surely attest to, that will never happen in Florida. [NBC Miami]

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