Dear Mark Cuban: after you finish telling Fay Vincent where to stick his outdated and nonsensical opinions on what makes a good owner, please buy the New York Mets. We need you. Now that the Boss is dead, New York sports needs you. Lord knows, you wouldn’t have been stupid/unethical enough to be taken in by Bernie Madoff.

And we now know that if you did get in any sort of legal trouble, you are willing to hire the best lawyers around.

That’s right folks, today Mark Cuban’s lawyers showed themselves to have all of the chutzpah of the Mavericks’ owner himself. They filed a motion to dismiss a longstanding case against Cuban by Ross Perot Jr. Apparently, Junior owns a 5% stake in the Mavericks and has accused Cuban of being “reckless” in his leadership of the team.

Reckless in his leadership of the newly crowned NBA champions, that is.

In any event, Cuban’s lawyers decided to graphically dispute that point in a court document….

My favorite writer Bill Simmons coined the phrase the “Eff You Touchdown” during the New England Patriots’ “helmet catch” Super Bowl losing season. It’s a little bit like running up the score and being a bully, only cooler. And you can do it when somebody has disparaged you in the past.

The motion from Cuban’s lawyers has that “Eff You” quality. The legal team would like to use the Mavericks’ NBA championship to put an end to the silliness from Perot Jr.

But here’s the thing that makes the motion brilliant. Instead of a lot of complicated legal arguments, Cuban’s lawyers used pictorial evidence in support of Cuban’s stewardship. The motion is up on Scribd, but here is the money screen shot:

A picture is worth a thousand words — though it’s probably worth considerably less money in terms of hours the lawyers can bill to Mark Cuban. Which is just another thing Cuban did right when he authorized this plan of legal attack.

I can’t imagine what Ross Perot Jr. will come back with. Maybe he and his daddy can work on some charts or graphs to better illustrate his position.

Mark Cuban Files The Ultimate “F**k You” Legal Brief [Deadspin]


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