I can’t believe that we have to talk about this idiotic Catholic University “controversy” of adopting same-sex dorms, but Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia talked about it, so now everybody has to talk about it. We can’t get Scalia to talk about executing prisoners in Georgia, and he tells us to “get over it” when we ask him about his role in usurping the power of the American people and appointing a President of the United States, but the smartest justice on the Court has an opinion on the dumbass potential lawsuit by George Washington University law professor John Banzhaf about same-sex dorms.

Speaking at Duquesne University School of Law, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review (gavel bang: ABA Journal) reports that Scalia said: “I hope this place will not yield — as some Catholic institutions have — to this politically correct insistence upon suppression of moral judgment, to this distorted view of what diversity in America means.” Apparently, this was Scalia’s way of supporting Catholic University’s same-sex dormitories.

Because really, with all of the problems with our system of higher education, it’s whether or not boys and girls reside in the same physical building that’s the pressing issue worthy of supreme comment….

Personally, I don’t have an opinion on same-sex dormitories. I just don’t see it as a distinction that makes much of a difference. Boys and girls will have sex with each other. And sometimes boys will have sex with other boys, and girls will have sex with other girls. People find a way to have sex with other people who live miles apart, sometimes in different cities, sometimes in different countries.

Let me put it this way: If having the girls live in the dorm across the way ruins your sex life, you have no game. If living in the same dorm as girls greatly increases the amount of sex you have, you are probably a date rapist. Sorry, but in the grand scheme of things, living in same-sex or co-ed dorms really shouldn’t make that much of a difference.

Which is why John Banzhaf’s proposed lawsuit is so freaking stupid. Check out his inapposite analogy:

“Suppose a university decided that there would be less racial tension if all the blacks were in a black dorm, all the whites were in a white dorm,” Banzhaf told Inside Higher Ed. “Each one is, quote, getting their own dormitory, and maybe some of them would be happier that way. But surely no one would suggest that it’s lawful.”

For one thing, the distinction between blacks and whites is a superficial one based on generations of ignorance. The distinction between boys and girls is based on the fact that they have different bits down there that fit together.

Whether or not that distinction means that they should, or should not, live in the same dorm has more to do with the sexual mores on campus, and less to do with providing co-equal habitation.

And, again, as sexual mores go, who cares? Prudes at Catholic University care, rabble-rousers like Banzhaf care, but we’re not talking about anything remotely serious. Catholic isn’t trampling the free speech rights of women by requiring them to wear veils, the boys aren’t being exiled from the community if they have sex out of wedlock. The school’s just making what will turn out to be a wholly ineffectual attempt to stop young love. You don’t need a lawsuit to stop this, you need Kevin Bacon to come in and just dance, man.

And you certainly don’t need Antonin Scalia to lend his considerable intellectual weight to the issue. How does this rise to the level of an attack on moral judgment, in Scalia’s mind? Banzhaf isn’t saying that they should put birth control in the co-ed dorm tap water (though, they should, they really, really should). A co-ed dorm is not a Bacchanalian commune where flesh is exchanged for drugs and really detailed outlines. It’s a dorm, that’s all.

Look, if you don’t want your children to go to school in a place where they have single-sexed dorms, then don’t send your children to Catholic University. Meanwhile, if you are overly concerned with whether or not your children will find other people to have sex with, don’t send them away to school. Keep them locked in the attic, preferably without an attractive sibling, in your attempt to keep your kids from experiencing the full extent of natural love.

I don’t know what else to tell these warring sides. Except this: shut up. Both sides just need to shut up about this tempest in a common room and deal with any one of the other hundreds of problems with education in this country.

What do you think?

Do you think Catholic University should have same-sex dorms?

  • I don't care. (68%, 536 Votes)
  • Yes. (20%, 156 Votes)
  • No. (12%, 94 Votes)

Total Voters: 786

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Scalia: Duquesne should strive to retain Catholic identity [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]
Law Prof Threatens Suit over University’s Plan to Reinstitute Single-Sex Dorms [ABA Journal]
Scalia Defends Moral Judgment and Law Schools That Embrace It [ABA Journal]


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