Holidays and Seasons, Small Law Firms

Size Matters: Trick or Treat

We are on the dawn on my favorite holiday. In a few short days, we will be celebrating the day when you can be whoever you want. Well, if you are a man. If you are a woman, you can whoever you want, slutty-style.

Halloween holds a special place for small-firm attorneys. Why? Because small firms permit, even encourage, their attorneys to dress up for All Hallows Eve. At least that was true at my firm, and Cam dressed up for Halloween at his small-firm.

So, with only a few days left before the big day, I offer you my tips on how to dress up at your small firm….

If you decide to go the pre-made costume route, you have two solid options.

(1) Lawyer From Ye Old Days

If you don this number, may I suggest you tell your boss “good morrow”, assure your secretary that you have “breeches” on under your robe, and when everyone starts looking at you funny, say “fare thee well” before running out of the office.

(2) Slutty Lawyer

Because what is a female lawyer to be other than a slutty lawyer on Halloween? Ladies, check out this costume. And if you really like how you feel, you should consider hanging out a shingle with this lady.

If you are more ambitious and want to craft your own costume, may I suggest a few ideas.

(3) Topical Lawyer

You won’t be able to rhyme fit with acquit, but you will be on trend. Depending on how ambitious you are, consider doing a couples costume.

(4) Pun-Loving Lawyer

Base your costume on your area of practice. For instance, if you are an employment lawyer, attach offensive phrases to your favorite black suit (i.e. harassment suit). Environmental lawyer? Smear some oil on your least favorite black suit. Commercial lawyer? Staple a contract to your suit. You get the gist.

(5) Douchey Lawyer

Dress like your most hated colleague.

Have a safe and happy Halloween. And be sure to email me if you have any other “appropriate” costume ideas.

When not writing about small law firms for Above the Law, Valerie Katz (not her real name) works at a small firm in Chicago. You can reach her by email at and follow her on Twitter at @ValerieLKatz.

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