Vatican Sues Over Pictures of Pope Sucking Face

I’m not sure it’s fair to call the Vatican “homophobic.” Homophobia contemplates a kind of fear. It’s a prejudice that, like so many, comes out of ignorance.

The Vatican is different. They think they’re at war with gays and lesbians — and who knows how many of these guys are at war with their own sexuality. And as opposed to a mere lack of understanding, there’s that annoying, Vatican-style, moral omnipotence that makes them feel they know exactly where gays and lesbians are going to end up. The Vatican isn’t homophobic so much as it’s homo-hating.

Given all that, I can’t say that I’m surprised that the Vatican is suing over a photoshopped picture of Pope Benedict XVI open-mouthed kissing another man. I’m sure surprised that the Unhate Foundation and an Italian fashion company had the stones to put the picture in an ad campaign all around Italy….

The ad is supposedly promoting “love,” or some other nonsense I couldn’t care less about. Here’s how it looks on the street. Remember that these are photoshopped images:

Funny, if Obama really was kissing Chinese President Hu Jintao, I’d put it in a reelection ad with the voice over: “Is your candidate willing to do what is necessary to keep America strong?”

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In any event, the Vatican flipped as if Jesus Christ came down and did a Trojan ad. Reuters reports:

A statement said the Vatican had told its lawyers in Italy and around the world to “take the proper legal measures” to stop the use of the photo, even in the media.

It was not clear from the statement if the Vatican intended to sue Benetton directly for damages.

The statement said the ad was “damaging to not only to dignity of the pope and the Catholic Church but also to the feelings of believers.”

I just want to break down that last bit real quick:

  • Dignity of the Pope: You mean the Pope who participated in the cover up of child sexual abuses committed by Catholic priests? That dude’s dignity?
  • Dignity of the Catholic Church: How many people, worldwide, would NOT have AIDS if the Catholic Church humbled itself, admitted it got things wrong, and started handing out free condoms?
  • Feelings of believers: Are there believers out there who do not believe in peace? Or people who only believe in peace so long as it can be accomplished without any gays putting their hands on each other?

Did you notice who the Pope is kissing? It’s Ahmed Mohamed el-Tayeb, who apparently is a big time Sunni leader. If that dude and the Pope had a torrid love affair that ended in peace in the Middle East, that’d be an awesome thing. Any Catholic “believer” who wouldn’t let them get a little gay for peace is a damn hypocrite.

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Whatever. I wish some American lawyer takes up the Vatican’s call and tries to sue over this ad. It’d be worth somebody doing it, just to see what the American courts do to it.

Vatican takes legal action over Benetton pope kiss ad [Reuters]
Vatican Calls in the Lawyers to Snuff Out Kiss Campaign [WSJ Law Blog]
Vatican Plans Legal Action over Benetton’s Faked Ad Showing Pope Lip Kissing Cleric [ABA Journal]