Holidays and Seasons

Be My Contractually Obligated Valentine

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. That means different things to different people. For a married man, it's a day when you can only get in trouble for underperformance. For a single woman over 30, it's a day to make you feel like you are going to die alone. For a single man with money, it's a day to shoot fish in a barrel. For a young woman, it's a day of presents. For Hallmark, florists, and chocolatiers, it's a day of straight cash, homey. For lawyers? Well, it's a day to enter into a non-binding contractual agreement for affection and fellatio, silly....

By Elie Mystal on February 14, 2012 10:06 am

Today is Valentine’s Day. That means different things to different people:

* For a married man, it’s a day when you can only get in trouble for underperformance.
* For a single woman over 30, it’s a day to make you feel like you are going to die alone.
* For a single man with money, it’s a day to shoot fish in a barrel.
* For a young woman, it’s a day of presents.
* For Hallmark, florists, and chocolatiers, it’s a day of straight cash, homey.

For lawyers? Well, it’s a day to enter into a non-binding contractual agreement for affection and fellatio, silly….

A couple of people sent over Be My Valentine – Lawyer Edition for dissemination to our romantically proficient readers. Here’s the Valentine contract, in pertinent part:

You can actually send the full version of the contract to your valentine over on Docracy.

Be My Valentine – Lawyer Edition [Docracy]