SCOTUS, Stephen Breyer

Breaking: Justice Breyer Robbed By Knife Wielder

Because of his view on the 2nd amendment, these were the only guns Justice Breyer was packing.

According to MSNBC, Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer was robbed at knife point while on vacation:

The Supreme Court has confirmed that Justice Stephen Breyer, his wife and several family friends were the victims of a knife-wielding robber at the Breyer vacation home on the island of Nevis in the Caribbean.

Jesus, was the criminal trained in the Jedi arts? How many people did he menace with just one knife?

As we know from David Souter’s run in with the criminal element, Supreme Court Justices don’t have Secret Service protection. I’m not sure what has to happen before we decide that nine people who wield incredible power over volatile partisan issues, for life, should have high level protection, but I hope it doesn’t take a tragedy.

For now, we can kid about this because thankfully neither the justice nor any of his family or friends were injured. But reports indicate that the criminal made off with nearly $1,000 in cash…

On Twitter, somebody asked me the big money question:

@DavidLat @ElieNYC so if conservatives are just liberals who have been mugged, does that mean we can now kiss Obamacare goodbye?

Actually, I think conservatives are liberals who are terrified of being mugged, while liberals have been mugged but decided not to abandon liberty in favor of increased security. So I think the current right/left balance of the court will be fine. But I wouldn’t want to be arguing the next criminal’s rights case in front of the Court this term, just in case.

In any event, since Nevis is outside U.S. jurisdiction, I think it would be funny if Breyer caught this guy and administered some street justice to his assailant: “I want to look at the disparate impact of my fists upside your head.” “My shoe is going to apply strict scrutiny to your face.” “You’re about to receive the penumbra of an ass whuppin.”

… I’ll be here all week.

Justice Breyer robbed at knifepoint at home in Caribbean [MSNBC]
Who Protects David Souter? [Slate]

(hidden for your protection)

comments sponsored by

Show all comments