California, Internal Memos, Ridiculousness

San Francisco Firm Sends Awesome Officewide 'Restroom Etiquette' Email

The San Francisco branch of a national law firm delivered an office-wide email concerning “restroom etiquette.” The email is hilarious, and if nothing else, impressively thorough. They thought of everything. The missive covered tips for masking awkward bathroom noises, suggestions for choosing a urinal, and an emphasis on the ways bathroom behavior can affect your professional reputation. Let's see which firm has (toilet) water on the brain....

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LEWIS BRISBOIS BISGAARD & SMITH — MEMORANDUM — OFFICE RESTROOM ETIQUETTE

From: [Omitted]
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 6:59 PM
To: SF EVERYONE
Subject: Office Restroom Etiquette

It’s a delicate issue, but one that must be addressed: etiquette in the company restroom.

Time
You should be efficient when using a public restroom or public stall, as there may be others waiting who desperately need to use it.

Cleaning Up
Treat the public restroom even better than the one at your home. In a public restroom, flushing every time is considerate. If you make a mess, use every effort to clean it up. The restroom should be left in as good as or better condition after your use than it was before you entered. Always wash your hands with soap after conducting your business.

Socializing
Avoid socializing in public restrooms. Speak only when spoken to, talking to a person who is doing personal business may make them very uncomfortable, especially if they are a stranger. The restroom is not a place to chat; that can be done outside.

At the Office
Use extra care in an office washroom. Your professional reputation may be linked to your washroom etiquette, so just assume that everyone in the office will hear about your code of restroom conduct. Imagine leaving urine on the toilet seat or toilet paper everywhere and opening the stall only to find your boss waiting to use it. Also, keep business out of the restroom, even if a colleague wishes to talk business suggest that the conversation be moved elsewhere.

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Urinals
In urinals, keep your eyes up and ahead and avoid looking around as a mistaken glance in the wrong direction may be embarrassing and might even result in a confrontation. Also, keep as much distance between yourself and others in public restrooms. Always choose the urinal farthest away from other people if possible; this goes for stalls too.

Odor
Keeping some air freshener or deodorizer handy when using a public restroom can be handy not only for the odors you may create but also for those left behind by others. Leaving a pleasant smell in the restroom can help avoid embarrassment and create a better restroom environment for others.

Noises
Restroom noises are sometimes hard to avoid and can be embarrassing. Turning on the tap or fan or running the automated hand drier can help mask them.

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