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Calling All ‘Kick Ass’ Attorneys

A lot of words come to mind when you think of attorneys. Opinionated. Educated. Argumentative. Risk-averse. Well-dressed.

But “kick ass”? Mmm. Not so much.

That’s why you have to be a special breed of attorney to land a job at this firm, which posted an ad on the University of Chicago Law School’s career services system….

The Campbell Law Group has an unorthodox request for potential new hires. As the title of the job posting makes abundantly clear, the firm wants a “Kick Ass Corporate Associate” (click to enlarge):

Now, my first comment, as an alumnus of Northwestern University, is that the University of Chicago is not exactly an ass-kicking type of place. We used to refer to our Southside neighbors as the place “where fun goes to die.” I’m just sayin’.

Incidentally, the job itself does not appear to be particularly unusual. There are a couple of odd inclusions, such as a requirement for an “open mind and heart.” Again — as Tom Wallerstein would probably agree — not how you usually describe attorneys.

The firm also wants someone who is an “[o]utdoor enthusiast.” I don’t get that. I think it’s a California thing, but I still don’t understand how it affects your abilities as an attorney. It’s not like anyone’s going to be litigating cases on top of Half Dome.

And in addition to salary, the firm offers “significant non-cash compensation in the forms of fun and personal fulfillment.” Okay Campbell, now you’re going to start scaring people away. I don’t have to even say this, and I know you all love having fun as much as the next guy (even if you went to U. of C.), but good times don’t keep the bill collectors at bay.

(To be perfectly fair, if you check out the firm’s website, it looks like they are doing pretty unusual, potentially awesome, and societally beneficial work.)

But as they say, it’s all about the intangibles. I wonder if the firm would react well to candidates showing up at their interview dressed like Lemmy or Peter Hayes. They don’t look like lawyers, but they are certainly both kick-ass.

It’s worth a shot.

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