An actual greyhound wouldn't have been so destructive.

Hey, don’t look at me, I spent my weekend planting Mountain Fire andromedas in my garden.

A man in Nashville allegedly went on an epic rampage, and he used somebody’s desk at a local law office as a restroom.

Like a boss….

WSMV-Nashville has the story of the allegedly wild night of one William Todd:

Officers said Todd broke into the Slaughterhouse and stole a Taser, revolver and shotgun. Then, they said he shot the business up, stole a T-shirt and set the business on fire.

Police said Todd then found four people leaving a local bar. He held them at gunpoint, tased one, pistol whipped another, then took off with their cash and credit cards.

Five minutes later investigators said Todd carjacked a cab at gunpoint, then headed off to commit fraud, and used his newly acquired stolen credit cards to buy food.

“He was able to find the Walmart on Nolensville. He goes there and purchased $199 worth of items,” said Blackburn.

Next stop: Hotel Indigo at 6 a.m.

Police said Todd broke into a law office there, ransacked the business then defecated on a desk, smearing feces on some of the framed law degrees.

Tipsters tell us that the law firm that is now covered in crap is King and Ballow. For the lulz, here’s a screenshot of the firm’s website:

I bet King & Ballow wishes it just had a water intrusion.

In all, police allege that Todd committed 11 felonies during a nine-hour Greyhound bus layover in Nashville:

Police finally caught up with Todd at noon. They said he was hiding on top of Opryland, submerged in a water-cooling vat with water up to his nose.

That’s got to be a record of some kind. I can’t wait till this guy s**ts all over his lawyer.

Metro police shocked by man’s wild crime spree [WSMV-Nashville]


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