Crime, Email Scandals, Food, Law Schools, Nauseating Things, Ridiculousness, Rudeness

Law School Lunch Fights Revisited: Biological Warfare

It has been some time since we’ve had a good old fashioned law school lunch fight. But it was only a matter of time until cafeteria tempers at one law school or another boiled over once again.

This time, it’s not only tempers, but various illnesses and maladies apparently spreading across the angsty University of Michigan Law School cafeteria.

Let’s get our hands dirty….

Before we get to the emails themselves, let’s take a look at how our tipster sets them up:

This kind of passive-aggresive E-mail is something that happens pretty frequently at Michigan Law School, and all I can do is chuckle when it does. It seems that the refrigerator at Michigan Law should be deemed a health risk given the fact that its heavy use by the sick and infirm.

Below are two e-mails that illustrate my point. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

I have to say, I like his attitude. A lot of people get overly worked up about listserv ridiculousness, but this person seems to pleasantly take it in stride. But enough navel-gazing, let’s get to the grody silly rudeness:

———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Tue, Jun 19, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Subject: [lawopen] To the jerk who ate half of my chipati
To: “[Unofficial Law Listserv]”


I hope you know that I sneezed all over it due to this terrible cold I have before I put it into the law school fridge in the Commons.


Ick. But that’s what happens when you live in the Midwest. It’s hot… and then it’s cold… and then it’s hot, and plus you’re stressed from school, and then you have bronchitis every three months.

After reading this next set of emails, however, sent by the same tipster but from a few months back, visitors to Ann Arbor might want to consider buying a SARS mask before setting foot on campus:

———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Thu, Sep 22, 2011 at 2:36 PM
Subject: [lawopen] To whomever drank out of my protein shake in the commons refrigerator:
To: “[Unofficial Law Listserv]”

Really? I mean, f***ing, really? Enjoy the cold (or flu or strep throat or whatever this is) that you hopefully caught in the process. You’ve earned it.

And here’s the response from another student:

———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Thu, Sep 22, 2011 at 3:12 PM
Subject: [lawopen] Re: To whomever drank out of my protein shake in the commons refrigerator:
To: “[Unofficial Law Listserv]”
Cc: “[Unofficial Law Listserv]”

My doctor told me that small sips of protein shake would be really good for my oral herpes. I hope you can forgive me.


Before anyone gets too worked up, let’s just go ahead and assume this last message was not from the actual perpetrator.

But, let this be a lesson to all you theoretical lunch thieves. Steal at your own risk — because who knows, snatch the wrong Coca-Cola and you might come down with hepatitis.

Earlier: Law School Lunch Drama Continues — From Coast To Coast
There Is a Law School Lunch Thief Running Wild in Our Midst

(hidden for your protection)

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