Lawsuit of the Day, Masturbation, Nauseating Things, Sex, Sexism, Sexual Harassment

Lawsuits of the Day: Ewwww. OMG, OMG. Gross.

Kelsey Meeks Duncan

Kelsey Meeks Duncan allegedly encountered quite possibly the foulest working environment I have heard of in a long time. Stories like hers honestly make me glad to be a male, simply because I would not be able to deal with this crap if I were a woman.

According to the allegations in her lawsuit, things started to get weird for Duncan in 2011, when small white spots began to appear on a dress she had hung on her office door. Shortly thereafter, she discovered “a small, half-dollar sized, white, creamy looking spot” on her desk chair. The mystery stains continued appearing, until, in August of last year, she realized the front of the dress was “literally covered in creamy, white iridescent stains. The stains were overlapping and nearly cover the entire front of the dress.”

Duncan’s coworker finally said what no one wanted to hear: “she thought the stains looked like semen.” Things kept getting worse at work, Duncan continued getting more distressed, and the visual descriptions in the lawsuit continued getting more graphic, until we finally arrived at the thrilling climax of Duncan’s ordeal (you can read the whole suit in this PDF):

Keith Magness

OH MY GOD. I haven’t felt my skin crawl like this since I watched Rosemary’s Baby. Just, iiiick. The complaint says when Duncan learned what happened, she became physically ill, and I totally believe that. I apologize on behalf of my entire gender. (She now appears to have a new job at another firm. Here is Kelsey Duncan’s firm bio.)

The lawsuit says Magness was fired and arrested after this all happened. For what it’s worth, he is still a member in good standing of the Louisiana bar, and he appears to still be practicing law. He is also a former Secret Service member. What is up with the Secret Service lately? (Here is the website for Keith Magness’s solo practice.)

Remember Monica Lewinsky's infamous blue dress?

The suit reads pretty fast, but I would not recommend reading it right before lunch. It also might make you feel better about your job, no matter how bad it is. Because at least your managing partner, as much of a jerk as he might be, is hopefully not masturbating on your clothes and onto your desk… and onto your carpet… and onto your chair.

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go rinse off.

Kelsey Meeks Duncan v. Keith L. Magness [24th Judicial Circuit, for the Parish of Jefferson, Louisiana]
Erection treatment leads Brockton man to sue hospital [Patriot Ledger]

Earlier: Lawsuit of the Day: Yet Another Woman Claims She Was Fired for Being ‘Too Hot’

(hidden for your protection)

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