Mmm… secrets.

Ah, don’t you love it when law school secret societies go public? Obviously, if you are in a “secret society” that takes itself seriously, you are a giant prick. I mean come on, it’s 2012, being in a secret club means that you pay attention to your privacy selections on Facebook.

I kind of like the “secret societies” that don’t take themselves too seriously and are a big joke. By “kind of like,” I mean I “thoroughly enjoy mocking” these people. I hope you all remember the ill-fated “Barrister’s Society” at Michigan Law School. That was good for a laugh.

Now we’ve got another group of Big Ten students who are getting a little group together. They’re not very organized, though — some of the people they sent their invite to have already graduated….

If they had more organizations like the Order of the Cloth, maybe we’d write about the University of Wisconsin more.

Yeah, you heard me correctly, there’s a group of Wisconsin Law students (or maybe it’s just one guy, one lonely guy) trying to start a secret society called “The Order of the Cloth.”

Well, not so secret anymore:

Dear fellow law students,

Listen up, because this is certainly the most important email you will read within the next 20 minutes.

CONGRATULATIONS! You have been weighed. You have been measured. And like everyone with whom we do not currently hang out with, you have been found wanting. Nevertheless, you are among the chosen few selected for “potential” admission into UW law school’s ultra elite, super cool, impressively narcissistic secret society:

The Order of the CLOTH

Allow me a few moments to explain. Some time ago, in the world of mildly insecure, self-absorbed law students there was an idea: an idea of superior pedigrees, unapologetic showmanship, and struttin what yo mamma gave you. It was an idea much like that of a 6th grade school girl clique. Or the PurinaONE® National Dog Show. The Founders sought to establish a guild of likeminded, top-shelf individuals with whom they could associate without subjecting themselves to the constant need to stifle their vomit. Frequent exposure to the low-class, 99 percenter, commoners of the law school world can be very demeaning, you see.

You can read the full letter on the next page. I’ve got to admit, it’s kind of funny.

That is assuming, of course, that this person (or, dear God, people) are joking. As a whimsical parody of law school eras of old, this annoying inbox filler kind of works. As an attempt to find a couple of drinking buddies, the tongue is a little too desperately forced into the cheek.

It does make me wonder about the state of law school cliques. Back in my day, when we had to walk uphill both ways to class instead of watching lectures on the MeTubes, the law review people self-segregated pretty early on. The Moot Court people were segregated because who the hell wants to eat lunch with those guys? Drunks were at every “bar review,” and the girls there for a JD faced off against the girls there for an MRS every weekend like the Jets and the Sharks.

Is that still how it works? Or has the terrible market basically separated everybody into two cliques: those who have a job, and the miserables? Is the new “secret society” just the people who aren’t going to graduate with a lot of debt?

Anyway, check out The Cloth on the next page….


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