Allen Matkins, Bad Ideas, Election 2012, Music, Politics, Videos, Weirdness, YouTube

Hey I Just Met You, and This Is Crazy, But Your Lawyerly Music Videos Are Not Good

Occasionally, lawyers send us awesome music videos that they have created. Sadly, we get less appetizing ones much more frequently. It turns out being an attorney does not automatically turn you into the Lonely Island.

We’ve got two painfully funny / bad / uncomfortable lawyer-produced clips today. Normally, I wouldn’t seek out clips like this to write about, but both of these were submitted to us by their creators. So, I guess, be careful what you wish for.

After the jump, check out the mid-size California firm that hopes you’ll call them, maybe, and a war crimes lawyer turned comedienne who sings a love song to Mitt Romney — while wearing a bikini, of course…

I kind of despise Call Me, Maybe to begin with, and the YouTube singalong bandwagon was filled to capacity about ten seconds after the song went viral. Actually, never mind, the song went viral because Justin Bieber made a singalong video. Ugh.

Allen Matkins made this in order “to help the firm attract young talent through demonstrating teamwork and a loose, fun culture.” It’s a noble goal, although I’m not sure who the clip is attracting, exactly…

Where to start? I think I have no choice here but bullets:

  • In the first shot we hear a man’s voice being lip-synced by a woman. It’s jarring, to say the least. Partly because the guy is, uh, not a great signer. The gender discord doesn’t help.
  • The second shot is an awkwardly framed view of the floor and people’s feet walking down a hall… uh, ok.
  • Back to the woman — wearing a phone headset for no apparent reason, still in a man’s voice but then boom – out of nowhere a female voice comes in, but still the woman is alone in the shot. Are there ghosts in this office? Also, the female voice is even worse than the man’s (sorry).
  • Things reach a plateau of weirdness for a minute, until we get to the second verse, at which point the disembodied male singer starts falling behind the beat. Like he can’t remember the words or is realizing, “Oh crap, this is going to be on the internet and I sound terrible.” Either way, something is very off.
  • The group shots of the attorneys playing toy instruments at the conference table should be cute or something… but I get this weird feeling of impending doom instead.
  • The main line of the chorus doesn’t rhyme at all. Like, they didn’t even try: “Hey, you’ve got problems, and I’m a lawyer, here’s my number, so call me, maybe?”

I did appreciate the parenthetical note in the title of the video on YouTube: “Legal Parody.” But even if this doesn’t violate copyright laws, it won’t break any sales records either.

ANYWAY, our second video features Siobhan Beasley, an lawyer turned comedienne, singing sarcastically about her crush on Mitt Romney.

On the upside, Beasley spends most of the video writhing around in various states of undress, barely covering herself, variously, in bikinis, an American flag, and skimpy pajamas….

(hidden for your protection)

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