This Thanksgiving, I was thankful for a healthy baby. Watching the Cowboys get blown out with your son is a whole other level of awesome that I can’t begin to adequately describe.

Trust me, my little guy will not grow up to like the Cowboys, he won’t end up being a Republican, and there’s no way in hell he’s going to law school. As soon as I got back to work, I remembered to be thankful (again) that I graduated from law school long before the economic meltdown and the era of high tuition with low job prospects.

Other people aren’t as lucky. Over the holiday, a presumably unemployed, 2012 law graduate sent a scathing letter to the dean and the faculty of the law school he graduated from. He’s angry. Based on the letter, he also might be a little loopy, possibly from hunger, but he’s certainly very, very angry….

Our tipster is also the person who sent the letter. He graduated from the University of Buffalo Law School in 2012, but evidently he wasn’t reading Above the Law in 2009. His letter gets right to the point:

Dear Dean [Makau W. Mutua] and the rest of you “god-damned racketeers” (a.k.a SUNY UB LAW SCHOOL FACULTY with the exception of [Redacted]), Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire, 315 U.S. 568 (1942).

I am a class of 2012 graduate. I am currently unable to secure employment. I have found that in the employment market a Juris Doctor from your school is not worth the paper it is written on. I have spoken with your career services office and they are unwilling, unable or simply too damn incompetent to help.

Ah, yes. Welcome to the suck, my friend.

Despite not being able to get a job, our guy still did go to law school. And he learned some terms, goddamnit. Terms that can be used in anger!

Having spent approximately three years of my life and approximately $100,000 (a figure that includes tuition, fees, health insurance that SUNY UB requires students to purchase, books, and University housing) to purchase a law degree from your institution I contend that you and SUNY UB Law School have a contractual obligation to ensure that your graduates, such as myself, find gainful employment. If you do not take meaningful action within 14 business days to help me secure such employment I may decide to sue you, every member of the of the law school faculty, SUNY UB and the state of New York on the theory that a law degree purchased from SUNY UB breaches the implied warranty of merchantability.

The aforementioned warranty stipulates that when any person buys any goods from any merchant, a term is automatically added to the contract by operation of law—that the goods are fit for the ordinary purpose for which such goods are used.

This makes me wonder if Buffalo’s clever plan is to teach their students only a little bit of law; that way the graduates can’t use the law against them to great effect.

But the only thing our guy is being really serious about is how very angry and disappointed he is with his law school:

Finally, I argue that I am entitled to compensation for the three years of my life that I spent buying the aforementioned defective juris doctor.

You can read the full message on the next page. Obviously, I wouldn’t expect Buffalo to answer this graduate’s concerns. But maybe somebody who is thinking about going to law school will read this letter now, instead of feeling compelled to write this letter in three years.


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