As we all know, law schools are eager to sell you naming rights if you give them money. Bad schools are willing to sell out, good schools are willing to sell out. Harvard Law School sold the naming rights to their freaking bathrooms.

Usually, these sales are made by deans at country clubs or wherever, with handshakes and checkbooks.

But one law school has put out a chart so that interested alumni can buy naming rights to things like they’re shopping at Wal-Mart.

Why not? It’s better than raising tuition. How much do you think it should cost to name a law school dining room?

A tipster directed us to the “Naming Opportunities” chart on the website of Wake Forest School of Law. It is a raw and inelegant pricing list that illustrates just how badly Wake Forest wants to sell out. What strikes me is just how much Wake is willing to let you name. We’re not just talking about whole buildings or even just rooms in a building. Wake Forest will let you slap your name on a locker. No, not just a “bank of lockers” but like one freaking student locker:

They’re naming the student lockers, how long until Wake starts selling the naming rights to actual students? “Did your own children amount to nothing? For just $10,000, you can name one of our law students and feel like your family has amounted to something. Here, we’ll let the Brianna Charles presented by the O’Grady family explain.”

Again, I’m not slamming Wake here. If somebody is going to pay you $5,000 to put their name on a locker, Wake should take the money. I would. Note: if you’d like to name Above the Law for a day, please contact [email protected], and I’m sure somebody will help you work something out.

My question is more about the kind of egotistical alumnus who would want to have his name on a student locker, but is too much of a poor to pony up more than five grand. People take these naming rights very seriously. The big story today is that somebody wants his $7.5 million back because Georgetown didn’t name a fitness center after him.

You know, if you want your name on something, then plunk down some cash and get something real nice and classy like:

Yeah, Wake Law YOUR NAME HERE Hall of Fame sounds like the business. If you can’t be in the Hall of Fame, you can certainly buy it.

Earlier: True Story: Harvard Law Sells Naming Rights to Its New Bathrooms, and a Berkeley Law Professor Couldn’t Be Happier


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