Man, it’s been so long since I actually had to read every comment in search of T-shirt worthy wit and humor that I almost forgot how much I hate some of you guys. I can’t wait till my vacation when I get a week away from you guys and I can just sit in bed and roll around in my “too Harvard degreez.”

Earlier this week, we asked you for possible captions for this photo:

One commenter already figured out my nefarious plan: “This is an April Fool’s trick to see how many of us know Justin Bieber songs…” But most of you fell for it….

Here are the finalists. I think Staci and Lat usually do it based on likes plus some of their favorites, but honestly I couldn’t give a damn which ones you guys liked the best until I was forced to. Though, I think the one you did like the best made my personal cut so, yay.

A. If you need a lawyer, call me, Justin M. Bieber, Esquire, and remember, there was nothing wrong with my name until I was in law school and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

B. Because I’m a solo, I will be starving, I will be homeless, I will be broke, because I’m a solo.

C. Martindale-Hubbell ranking of Swaggy; Some experience in defending paternity suits. You Settle, I Smile.

D. Sure, Justin Bieber, Esq. has a degree in law, but my lawyer, Nick Lachey, Esq., has 98 degrees.

E. Sure, I hired that guy once. I ended up in Sing Sing.

F. I’m sure Justin Bieber Esq. says, “Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.”

G. Think you can’t recover damages? “Never say Never.” Call Bieber Law and get that “One Time” settlement you deserve.

Please vote for your favorite caption in our poll, which will be open through MONDAY, APRIL 8TH, at 11:59 PM (Eastern time). The winner will get a t-shirt, and the grudging respect of his or her fellow commenters.

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Earlier: Caption Contest: Baby, Baby, Baby, Law