Crime, Rape, Sex

Internet Sensation Arrested for Lawyer’s Murder

No, Grumpy Cat did not turn on her owner.

But a viral video star has traded Internet notoriety for real notoriety after being arrested on charges that he murdered a 73-year-old law firm partner. The cause of death was described as “blunt force trauma.”

The body was found Monday and now police have apprehended their suspect…

“Kai, the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker” is famous for (a) using a hatchet to stop an attempted murder; and, (b) giving an awesome, rambling, profanity-laced interview that propelled him to Internet stardom and TV appearances:

and then, (c) providing testimony in that case that was… just as awesome, rambling, and profanity-laced:

Given that the guy is a crazy transient famous for beating someone with a hatchet that he just happened to carry around with him, perhaps we shouldn’t be too surprised that he would eventually end up on the wrong side of the law.

The victim in this case, 73-year-old Joseph Galfy Jr., was a partner at Kochanski, Baron and Galfy in New Jersey. According to authorities, Galfy picked up Kai in Times Square last Saturday. The two had never met, and it’s unknown if Galfy even knew of Kai’s Internet past. If you’re wondering why a 73-year-old would pick up a 24-year-old stranger in Times Square on a Saturday night, Midnight Cowboy is streaming on Netflix. Or you can just read on:

Their rendezvous, most of it later spent in and around Joseph Galfy Jr.’s ranch-style house on Starlite Drive in Clark, would last about 24 hours, until sometime Sunday evening when, authorities said, their encounter turned violent after a sexual tryst.

Kai made his way to Philadelphia and cut his hair. Meanwhile, police found Galfy’s body after going to his house when he failed to show up at work.

On Tuesday, Kai — known as Kai Lawrence, Caleb Kai Lawrence, and Kai Nicodemus — posted on his Facebook page as Caleb Kai Lawrence Yodhehwawheh (does he realize aliases only work if they’re all reasonably distinct?):

what would you do if you woke up with a groggy head, metallic taste in your mouth, in a strangers house… walked to the mirror and seen come dripping from the side of your face from your mouth, and started wretching, realizing that someone had drugged, raped, and blown their fuckin load in you? what would you do?

The implied answer is “blunt force trauma.”

Authorities called the post “pretty much self-serving,” which is kind of an overstatement. A self-serving post would be “had a gnarly time at the North Pole Sunday,” with a picture of Kai hugging a reindeer. This post says, “oh, now that a couple of days have passed, here’s my motive.”

Kai was arrested in Philadelphia and will be turned over to New Jersey authorities in the next few days. His bail is set at $3 million.

The transient who calls himself “home-free” as opposed to “homeless” now has a permanent address for the foreseeable future.

Famed Hitchhiker ‘Kai’ Arrested in Philadelphia, Charged in Clark Lawyer’s Murder [Star-Ledger]

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