Unemployed (and underemployed) lawyers are a common theme around here. We talk about layoffs, bogus firings, and always the pain caused by carrying crushing debt without the means to pay it off. We even boast regular coverage of contract attorney problems.

All of these topics combine to form the rich tapestry of sadness that is scraping and struggling as an out-of-work attorney in a market that hates you. However, you have to read a number of ATL stories to see all sides of the unemployment problem. There just isn’t “one stop shopping” for how much it sucks.

But then this came along and summed up the whole experience of unemployed lawyers perfectly….

This video comes to us from Mar Danielyan, a Los Angeles area attorney who channeled the frustration of unemployment into S**t Unemployed Lawyers Say. It’s a steady stream of statements reflect the malaise of the era.

Here are 5 highlights:

Checking Craigslist and finding the best job available offers a mere $17/hour. That’s actually pretty good. Remember we profiled an attorney gig paying $9.19/hour last week. That’s the minimum wage in the state of Washington. With the oversupply of lawyers out there, the only unbelievable part of that listing is that it’s the first one we’ve seen offering minimum wage. Soon enough, everyone will be working for the firm of McDonald, King, Bell & Hut.

This is possibly the saddest impulse of an unemployed attorney: “I think I’m going to take the bar in another state.” Not only is this committing to taking another grueling test, but interviewing for jobs you probably won’t get in another state is a huge drain on time, money, and psychological well-being. You didn’t go to law school to become a character from The Grapes of Wrath.

In case you’re wondering, you are already a Grapes of Wrath character — you’re the Turtle from Chapter 3.

Yes, indeed we have heard of income-based repayment. You know who else has heard of it? The law schools themselves, who we recently discovered were driving up tuition to take advantage of legal loopholes created by the IBR regime.

Maybe you should start your own practice! You have no job, no connections, and very little experience — there’s no way this new firm will fail. At least there’s some good advice out there for starting a firm.

And the money shot joke. The phone call every lawyer dreads making. I won’t spoil it, you can watch the whole video.

This story does appear to have a happy ending: based on a quick search of the Internets, it looks like Mar Danielyan has found a full-time job. Good luck to everyone else.

S**t Unemployed Lawyers Say

Earlier: Nationwide Layoff Watch: Heads Continue To Roll In Biglaw
Recent Law Grad Loses Custody Of Child After Taking Only Job She Was Offered
Matt Taibbi Joins The Student Loan Crisis Bandwagon: Good Seats Still Available
Is This ‘Attorney’ Job Heading Offshore?
Law Schools Devise Trick To Game Taxpayers
Why Not Start Your Own Law Firm?


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